As Dead As It Gets

No. Impossible. He’d been truly shocked when I’d tried to tell him that she was a ghost. That was the kind of reaction you couldn’t fake.

I walked into our town house without bothering to wonder if there would be anyone there. Mom had her board meeting. Dad had gone to work—there was no point in his staying home if Kasey and I were at school.

Only we weren’t.

I’d skipped school—

And Kasey was home, too.

She stepped into the hallway, staring me down. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I said. “I just decided to go for a walk instead of going to school.”

“A walk?” Her gaze traveled up and down my filthy beat-up body and my torn, stained clothes.

“Yeah.”

“Where did you go last night?” she asked.

There was no point in denying it. I blinked. “Out.”

“Lexi…” Her hair was pulled into a low loose bun. Her hands were on her hips. She looked like a character from a TV show about lawyers. “You always leave…right before the bodies are found.”

“What are you saying?”

“If she’s making you hurt them, tell me,” Kasey said.

I had to take a step back and lean against the wall to keep my legs from giving out. How on earth could my little sister know about Laina? And how on earth could she suspect me of being a murderer?

I shook my head. “I just learned about her last night, Kase.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she said. “I heard you talking to her a week ago.”

“Really? To Laina?” I asked, my investigative side forcing my hurt-slash-shocked side to take a backseat. “A week ago? Was I asleep?”

“What?” She quirked her head to the side, puzzled. “Who’s Laina?”

We stared at each other.

“I heard you talking to Lydia,” she said.

“Oh, that. No, Kase,” I said. “It’s not what you think.”

She swallowed hard. “I know what it’s like, Lexi—to be lonely, and to think a ghost is your friend. Does she tell you what to do? Does she promise you things? Is she…is she making you hurt those girls?”

“No,” I said. “Kasey, you don’t understand. Lydia is—”

I cut myself off and took a shaky breath. As much as I’d wanted to protect my little sister and keep her out of this world, it was too late now.

“Lydia’s my friend,” I said. “But not in a bad way. She’s not hurting anybody. She’s helping me.” Or she was—until I killed her.

Kasey’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t believe me—and after what she’d been through, I didn’t blame her. Everything I was saying was something she could have said about Sarah.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” I said. “I mean, you either believe me or you don’t. But I wouldn’t lie about it. You never lied about Sarah.”

She thought about that. “Not to you.”

“Lydia’s not behind this. She’s not hurting those girls—and neither am I.”

“Then why did you find Kendra?” she asked. “I mean, it was so obvious, once I thought about it. And Ashleen—that was your lens cap they found, I know. I checked your camera.”

I wanted to shout at her, shake her. She wasn’t supposed to be doing this. She was supposed to have a normal, happy life, and be a normal, happy girl. She was supposed to be pretty and popular and sail through high school, letting me absorb all of the pain, all of the suffering.

But what if—the thought hit me hard—what if that wasn’t what she wanted?

What if she wanted to help?

She was fifteen years old. I’d been fifteen when I fought Sarah.

Just like I had the right to fight…so did she.

“In October,” I said, “right before Lydia died, she threw chemicals in my face. They got in my eyes, and I was afraid I was going to go blind. So I retook the oath, and Aralt started fixing my eyes. I never got the chance to read the abandoning spell because Lydia burned the book.”

Kasey’s mouth dropped open. “Aralt is doing this?”

“No,” I said. “He’s gone. But my eyes…they’re different now.”

She stared right into them, and I fought the urge to turn away.

“They’re haunted,” I said. “I can see ghosts in photos and on TV.”

“My God, Lexi,” she breathed. “Why didn’t you say something?”

I choked. “Wait—before you freak out. There’s more.”

And I told her about Lydia.

She had to put a hand on the wall as I spoke. Then she backed into my room and plopped down on the bed. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I would have helped you. With all of it.”

“I didn’t want you to help me,” I said. “I wanted you to be safe.”

She raised her eyebrows and gave me an angry look. “You think I want to just live a clueless, stupid life while you’re out there suffering? Are you out of your mind?”

“Possibly,” I said. “Believe me, I’ve considered it.”

She pulled me down and wrapped her arm around me, resting her head on my shoulder. “I can’t be happy if you aren’t happy. I’m not going to let you sacrifice yourself for me.”

“But you have a chance to be normal,” I said. “And I don’t think I do.”

“Well, I don’t want it,” she said, with a decisive shake of her head. “I don’t want to be normal.”

I was overcome by emotions, but for once I didn’t burst into tears. I just sat there feeling somehow like I was the little sister and she was the big sister. She was the protector and I was the one who needed protecting.

“Now,” she said, “tell me absolutely everything.”

So I did. I started with the bright light and the girl—Laina—taking control of Mom’s car, and I told her everything that had happened since then.

She stopped me sometimes and asked questions, which I answered as well as I could. She was trying to work out a way for us to get into Jared’s closet.

“Stop,” I said. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

The rumble of the garage door.

“Mom’s home,” I said.

Kasey ran to my window. “Lexi…”

“What?” I said.

“It’s not just Mom. It’s Dad, too.” She turned to look at me. Her face was white. “And Agent Hasan.”

We stared at each other.

“She’s going to take you to Harmony Valley,” Kasey said. “Like she took me.”

Harmony Valley was a mental institution located in the middle of nowhere, about fifty miles outside of Surrey. It was where Kasey had spent almost her whole eighth grade year.

“I know,” I said, because I did. The moment Kasey said her name, I knew why she had come. “I—I could run.”

“You can’t run,” she said. “She’ll find you.”

I guess I knew that, too. “But you can run. Don’t ever let them know we’ve talked about this.”

“Tell her nothing,” my sister said. “Not a thing. She’ll act like she’s your friend, but she’s not.”

“Go! Hide!” I snapped, steering my sister toward her bedroom.

“No, I’ll leave,” she said. “I’ll go out through the backyard.”

I followed her to the kitchen and opened the door for her, wanting to shove her out to safety. But she stopped on the threshold and hugged me.

“Keep quiet, behave, and she’ll have to let you go,” she said. “Eventually.”

“Don’t come see me. I don’t want her to think you know about any of this.” Suddenly, a cold line of fear went up my back. “And Kasey, don’t try to deal with Laina alone. Promise me.”

“I promise.” She kissed my cheek and ran off through the backyard. She could hide in the side yard until everyone was inside, and then she could get out of the neighborhood.

But me?

I was stuck.

Mom’s face was gray. She rubbed her cheeks with the backs of her hands and stared down at the floor. Dad sat next to her, looking at me.

I was across from them, and Agent Hasan stood over us all.

She was oddly non-smug.

“You can’t just take her,” Mom said.

I saw the way Agent Hasan’s mouth opened to answer, and then she stopped herself.

There was really no need to say it: she could. Just like when she’d hauled Kasey away.

Two hours earlier, she’d come in the door bearing a file of official-looking legal papers that had silenced my parents. While I waited on the couch, she sat at the kitchen island with them, and occasional phrases rose above the murmur of their low voices: Danger to herself and others. Evaluation and treatment. Signed by the judge. But even if Agent Hasan hadn’t had her stack of papers, I would have believed that she could “just take” me. As far as I could see, that was her whole mode of operating: “just” doing things. And never facing the consequences.