Trouble in Paradise

We've got to stop meeting this way" Je

She was sitting on the cot, with her feet tucked up under her. Jesse left the cell door open and leaned against the wall opposite her. The cell was so small there was barely any space between them.

"I don't know what to say."

"I couldn't stand it," Je

"It's not fair-that bitch trying to take you down.

You're so good, Jesse."

"Thank you, Je

"It's the truth. They're lucky to have you. She should be grateful. They all should be grateful."

"Actually Je

"I know. I helped with that."

"Maybe not as much as you think."

"Have I fucked you up again?" Je

Jesse smiled.

"God, Je

"You could just let me go."

"Yeah."

"But if you did, then Mrs. Bitch Face could accuse you of favoritism."

"Yeah."

"What would happen if I weren't me?" Je

"You'd call your lawyer, and your lawyer would arrange your release."

"I don't have a lawyer."

"I could ask Abby Taylor," Jesse said.

"Didn't you fuck her?"

"Uh-huh."

Jesse decided not to mention how recently. Je

"No. I can't have her."

"Station got a lawyer?" Jesse asked.

"Yes. I suppose they'll have him out here as soon as they get wind of it. I may have made myself some trouble at the station."

Jesse smiled.

"Might be your big break," Jesse said.

"Je

"I better tell the station," Je

"Can I use your phone to call the news director?"

"Sure. You're free to go, Je

"Won't you get in trouble, just letting me go like that?"

"If I do, I'll deal with it when it comes. I'm not going to lock you up."

Je

"Oh, shit," Jesse said.

"Here we are together, talking in a jail cell, Jesse," Je

"It's just so..."

"Not the way we first pla

"God, I've made such a goddamned mess of everything."

"It's not over," Jesse said, "until it's over."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means we're working on it, Je

"I don't ever want to stop working on it," Je

"I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me," Jesse said.

"But I don't know. I don't know if I can ever be what you want me to be."

"I don't have any big rules about what you should be, Je

Mostly I'm opposed to sharing you."

"I don't know," Je

"I just don't know."

"You will," Jesse said.

"I only know I can't imagine a world without you in it."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jesse said.

"I'm going to wait it out."

"God, I hope it's not a long wait," Je

"You seeing a shrink these days?"

"Dr. St. Claire gave me the name of two people-one in Chestnut Hill, one in Cambridge. I haven't called them. It's hard to go to a new shrink."

"I imagine it would be," Jesse said.

"You think I should go back into therapy?"

"Anything that will help you decide what you want to do, and then be able to do it, is a good thing," Jesse said.

"And you'll stay?"

"I'll stay," Jesse said.

"What if I get to a point where what I want doesn't include you?"

"Then I'll move on," Jesse said.

"And you'll be all right?"

"Je

"But you won't give up?"

"Not until you tell that you don't want me in your life."

"I can't ever imagine saying that."

"That seems like good odds to me," Jesse said.

"The other night was good."

"Yes," Jesse said.

They were both quiet for a moment. Then she stood, Jesse opened his arms, Je

FORTY-NINE.

"You got a safe deposit box?" Macklin said.