The Wounded

“Do you want me to do it?”

I scowled up at him. “No, Joseph.”

“Can I read it?” He held out his palm for my scrap of paper.

“No.”

I hated being the center of things, but I hated doing nothing more. I had an idea of what I wanted to do, but getting it out on paper was hard. I wasn’t smart like Joseph. I could knock stuff together, carve a leg, get into trouble, but make a convincing speech? My doubts were etched into every scratched-out word.

I screwed up the paper and threw it in the corner. I couldn’t map this. I wasn’t submitting plans for a house. I just had to say what I knew, how I felt, and hope they would listen.

*****

I held Orry on my hip. He was my gurgling, drooling security blanket. Gus cleared his throat and shouted down to the mass of people huddled together near the cha

“Rosa would like to address the settlement. As always, every voice shall be heard, even our younger companions.” He cast his hazel eyes my way disparagingly. “We will hear her, and we will vote.”

He stepped back and gave me the floor, which was really a small, worn patch of stone. I looked down at my feet, noticing the ripple pattern scooped into the rock, as a drop of water hit the top of my head.

I thought I would start softly, ease them into it but… Oh Addy, I hope this is what you meant.

“We will all die if we stay here,” I yelled out across the crowd. Whatever murmurs were going on before I started speaking stopped dead, the rush of water narrowing down a tu

“Whether it’s soon or six months from now, they will come back. We’ve seen what they’re capable of. We’ve all lost so much, too much. Are you willing to lose everything?” I put my hand to my chest and thumped it. “Death is following us and if we stop moving, then it’s done, it’s over.” The faces were devastated, so much sadness pulling all their mouths down. But stuck in here that was all we had, sadness and waiting. We had to get up. We had to fight.

I grasped the charm around my neck, something that had swung dormant from each of our necks for too long. “I am a survivor. I live beyond the wall. I give shelter to those that need it. I am not chosen, but I choose to live.”

Hands went to throats, rubbing away at the sloth of inaction that had taken over for months.

“Those babies need our protection, our help. The citizens of the Woodlands deserve a choice.”

Hands start shooting up in the air like unfurling seedlings.

Gus stepped forward, waving his hands fervently. “Wait, wait, I haven’t told you to vote yet.”

“It doesn’t matter, Gus, she’s right. We’re Survivors. We’ve been lost and wounded, for too long.” Other hands moved up, creating a field of unwavering support swaying like grass in the breeze. I let my lips creep into a smile, while my heart was beating so fast I thought it might give out.

“What do you propose we do?” someone yelled from the back of the crowd. It was a hopeful voice.

“We offer the solution, the treatment we found for Orry, in exchange for Deshi. He’s the only one with the skills to help us project our surveillance into the sky for everyone to see,” I said, sweeping my hand in the sky, projecting an imaginary billboard.

Pietre hobbled forward. “What are we supposed to do? Just walk up to the Superiors’ compound and knock politely on the wall?”

I shrugged. “Well… yes.”

“No one’s going to volunteer for that mission. It’s too dangerous,” he replied, shaking his head.

“I’ll go,” a voice thundered from the front of the crowd. A voice I knew. A voice I loved too much to let him go alone.

“Then so will I,” I said under my breath.

*****

It was voted by almost the entire community that we would do something. The grains of a plan were starting to drop and pile together, Gus begrudgingly leading the way. We would split into eight groups as we had when we retrieved the Spiders. We would travel together to the Superiors’ compound, but only two people would proceed inside. Gus was adamant about this. He didn’t want to waste lives. We would carry what we thought Deshi would need to adapt the discs. If the two were successful, Deshi would do the necessary adjustments for the eight discs. The groups would separate and plant them at each compound. A message at the end of each video would urge them to fight back for their daughters, their children. It was a loose plan. It was a long shot, but I had to believe it was worth it.

*****

Pietre knocked on the inside of my scraped-out dwelling. I knew it was him, because the knocking was impatient and aggressive.

He limped in, his face awkward and hot.

“Ahem. Rosa, I have a proposal for you.”

I laughed. “I think we’re a bit past proposals, aren’t we?”

He stumbled a little and caught himself on the wall.

“I’ll take the child for you. Careen and I.”

I guess my face said it all, because he looked instantly a

“You needn’t look so surprised. Just because you and I don’t get along does not mean I’m incapable of caring for him.”

“But… why?” I couldn’t understand why he would offer such a thing and what he could possibly want in return.

He leaned against the wall, his chest heaving slowly, sadly. “I need to be useful. I can’t go with the others on this mission, and I damn well won’t stay here. You were right; we’ve all been lost for too long, hanging on to our grief like a life preserver…”

I arched an eyebrow at his words. I didn’t know what exactly a life preserver was, but I thought I caught the meaning. It was wrapped up with not wanting to let go but having to.

My hands were trembling. How could I leave Orry? But at the same time, how could I stay and just let it happen? The death, the threat… they would come for us eventually anyway. Maybe, at least this way, we could try to stop it, try to save everyone. The choice was impossible.

Pietre tapped his foot impatiently. “Well…?”

I stood, pulling my hair back into a rough ponytail. “I need to speak to Joseph first,” I said.

He snorted. “Well, you know where to find me.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I’ll just listen out for the sound of wood clunking against rock.”

He sort of smiled-grimaced and walked out as best he could.

Could I trust Pietre with Orry? We respectfully disliked each other but the answer was yes, I could trust him. I knew he would die before he let anything happen to Orry, and I knew Careen would be warrior enough for both of them.

I slipped on my shoes and went to find Joseph.

How do we leave you? My heart’s torn in more pieces than I can count. To be good parents, to be the people we want you to look up to, we have to do this.

I don’t know how we’ll leave. But I don’t know how we can stay.

Joseph sat with his legs hanging over the edge of the cha

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and struggle… life would be a bit boring if it were.” She’d said it to me with a wink, just after my attack. I wiped a casual tear from my cheek that seemed to appear without me noticing. Our lives were certainly not boring.