Betwixt

I make my way towards him, hating myself and this moment.

"I can't let you do this." I stop by his side and touch his arm. "You have to know."

"Know what?"

"What you're trying to save."

"Nicole, I told you I don't care about your past."

Adam glances back at Dale.

"What'd you say?"

"Uh... I'm just going to check over here, make sure we're covering everywhere. You keep following Jester."

Adam gives an unenthusiastic nod and keeps descending the hill.

I look back to Dale and swallow.

"I know you say you don't care, but I can't let you put all this on the line for me. I honestly don't deserve it."

He looks a little a

"What, Nicole? What did you do that was so terrible?"

Holding my breath, I count to five then release it in a gush. The words tumble out of me, small and pathetic.

"I killed my sister."

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Dale's skin is white, his eyes wide with horror.

I knew he'd change his mind.

"Just call Jester back. You don't have to keep looking for me."

Dale's blink is slow and forced, but when his eyes pop open they have lost their 'deer in front of headlights’ quality.

"Where are you standing? I want to look at you for this."

"I'm at your three."

In slow motion, he turns to face me. I gaze at his scar, something that should be so ugly and marring, instead I want to touch it, to run my finger along its smooth edge. I make fists with my hands and look to the ground.

"You need to listen to me very carefully." Dale's voice is slow and controlled. "You did not kill your sister. She fell. It was an accident."

Bubbles rush up inside me; they are filled with guilt and regret. I bend over as the agony makes my chest want to rip apart.

"You don't understand. I was supposed to be watching her. She was my responsibility." I draw in a ragged breath. "She was such a cool kid. So sweet and adorable, everybody loved her." I swipe at the fresh tears swarming my cheeks and stand up, forcing myself to get through this. "Usually when mom and dad went out we played and danced or made up games, but I didn't want to that day. I was a

"I eventually got so mad that I dragged her outside and locked the door."

My voice was starting to break, making it hard to continue. I sniffed loudly, my stomach jolting with sobs.

"I went to my room to keep working on my latest cover design. I heard Jody calling, but I ignored her. She was just trying to get my attention. She was shouting for help and I kept thinking, 'Yeah, whatever, Jo. Cry wolf all you like.'"

My body is shaking as I force out the rest of the story.

"Then she screamed. She sounded so scared and I jumped up and ran to the sliding door in the living room. She was dangling from one of the branches of this really tall pine tree. The one we weren't allowed to climb. The one I had secretly taught her how to climb."

I cover my mouth with my hand then sniff.

"She looked towards me, Dale, and I swear our eyes met for a second before her little fingers slipped. The last thing I heard was her screaming my name then this... thud."

Dale's face is etched with agony as I glance at him. I close my eyes and look away.

"I ran out to her. She was lying on the ground all broken like a little bird and there was blood oozing out all over the ground, soaking into her hair." I fall to my knees as the image crystallizes in my brain. I force myself to gaze upon her lifeless face.

"You've never told anyone this before, have you?"

"No." My voice is so small, emotion robbing it of any volume.

"Nicole." Dale bends down in front of me, somehow sensing I'm now on the ground. "I know you think you don't deserve any other chances, but I refuse to believe I can hear you, unless you are meant to live. You have to fight."

"For what?"

I look up at him, images of my current life flashing through my head like flying photographs.

"The right to correct your mistakes."

"I can't fix this one. I can't bring her back." I jump up and move away from him.

"I know," his voice is soft, "but you don't deserve to die."

"Neither did Jody." I spin around and look at his crouched form. "She was such a good kid, pure and sweet. I was always the trouble maker; it was me who deserved to fall out of that tree."

Dale slowly stands and puts his hands in his pockets.

"Maybe. But would you have wanted Jody to live without you? Her big sister that she looked up to? What would have that done to her?"

I close my eyes and shake my head, feeling the inevitable cold edging towards my heart. "It doesn't matter. It's over."

"It doesn't have to be." Dale's voice is high and urgent. "Take this second chance, Nicole, make something of your life. Please. Please you have to fight."

"I don't deserve a second chance."

"Nobody does. That's the way grace works. Don't throw this away."

Desperation is marring his features.

I don't know what to say to him. I've never seen anyone beg with me like this before. He wants me to live. A shock of cold runs through my middle and I gasp. It moves through my limbs and the shakes grow with intensity... and then my nose is wet.

I twitch and wave my hand in front of my face.

My nose tickles.

I scratch it, but the wet tickling sensation returns.

"Nicole, are you still there?"

"Yes." I scratch my nose again.

"Are you okay?"

"Something's tickling my nose."

I shake my head from side to side as Dale jumps up, hope lighting his face like a bonfire.

"Jester."

Without a backwards glance, he runs down the hill, tumbling and sliding, calling for his dog.

Jester barks back loudly. We follow the sound and soon stumble across a scene I'm not overly keen on seeing. Adam is standing above me, his hands in his pockets. He looks pretty shell-shocked as Jester sits by my ashen face, his tail thumping on the ground.

"Good boy."

Dale falls to his knees and slides the rest of the way towards me. He gives Jester's head a quick congratulatory rub then gently pushes the dog away.

At first he looks a little lost as he gazes down at me. I don't exactly look crash-hot. In fact I look disgusting! My skin is so pale you can almost see the veins ru

Brushing the hair back from my face, Dale checks from my pulse, looks horrified then after a few more frantic finger jabs to my neck, lets out a relieved sigh.

"Nicole, wake up." He gently runs his hand over my face then bends low to check for breathing. "This is not good."

He looks up at Adam as he whips off his sweater and wraps it around me.

"She's like an ice cube. We have to call for help. Get out your phone."

Adam steps back.

"I can't, man. I won't do it."

Dale glares up at him.

"Get. Out. Your. Phone."

Shaking his head, Adam retreats further away. By some magnetic force his eyes are locked on my body. They are wide and filled with fear.