Intermix Nation

Nazirah brightens considerably. “You’reabsolutely right, Lumi!” she says. “I completely forgot, but Nikomentioned going to Rafu.”

“See?”

It’s definitely strange that Lumi couldcheer Nazirah up better than Cato, but it goes with the rest of theday. “I think I need to sleep it off,” Nazirah says, forcinganother bite of cake. “It’s been a really long day, for all of us.I’ll be fine tomorrow. Honestly.”

They both get the hint, standing up butstill hovering.

Nazirah chews the cake slowly, hoping theyleave before she either vomits or spills her guts. Cato gentlysqueezes her shoulder. Lumi, much to Nazirah’s surprise, embracesher awkwardly. They finally leave.

Nazirah immediately spits the cake into hergarbage and returns to staring at the wall.

#

Monday comes mercilessly. Lumi left for Zimathe night before. The lingering recruits threw one last party inher honor. They won’t see one another again for several weeks, whentheir fates will intertwine like the cord of a life preserver – orthe rope of a noose.

Live or die, in it together.

Cato comes to Nazirah’s room as promised,completely hungover. His hair is still matted from sleeping. Hestretches his stiff limbs before grabbing Nazirah’s luggage.

Nazirah slings her remaining bag over hershoulder. She didn’t know what to pack. Nikolaus told her toprepare for drastic climate changes throughout the territories.Nazirah’s already experienced the overwhelming dry heat of the RedWest, but has no idea what to expect in Zima or Osen. She’simmensely excited at the prospect of seeing snow for the firsttime. But she doubts her usual shorts and light tops areappropriate there. And it’s not like she could afford anythingelse.

What is the face of the rebellion supposedto look like, anyhow? Nazirah feels completely unprepared.

“It’s going to be so weird without you,”Cato says.

In their thirteen years of friendship, thiswill be the first time they’ll be separated for more than a fewdays. Their relationship has been strained lately. There’s so muchNazirah has hidden from him in the past few weeks. She knows he’spicked up on her vagueness. Nazirah wonders if maybe this timeapart will be good for them.

Cato carries her bags down the stairwell,yawning into his arm as they exit the staircase and walk towardsthe front entrance. Nazirah rolls her eyes. “You seem really brokenup about it.”

He grabs her arm once they’re outside.“Hey,” he says gently. “Stop that. You know I’m no good when I’vejust woken up.”

“When you’re hungover, you mean.”

“Or that,” he says, smiling sheepishly.

“You clearly kept the party going after Ileft last night.” She laughs.

“I was drowning my sorrows over youleaving,” he says seriously.

Nazirah snorts. “I’m sure.”

“I really will miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” she sighs. “You’ll tryto visit me when the campaign comes to the Red West?”

“If they let me off assignment,” he says,“in a heartbeat.”

“Well … convince them,” she says.

Someone coughs loudly. They turn, spottingAldrik, Nikolaus, and Adamek waiting by the car. Nazirah walks overto greet Nikolaus as Cato puts her luggage in the trunk. Aldrikhuffs as soon as Nazirah moves from the entrance, getting into thedriver’s seat.

Nazirah is a

Nikolaus returns it with unusual enthusiasm.“I didn’t say anything,” he tells her.

“I’m actually early,” Nazirah continues, “soyou can go ahead and tell Aldrik right now to stuff theattitude.”

“I’ll pass,” he says. “I’m just happy youshowed.”

“Someone has to represent our family.”

“Be safe, Nazirah,” Niko says. “I’ll bechecking in with Aldrik daily to get updates. I know you’ll make usproud.”

Cato’s hug lasts much longer. Nazirah closesher eyes, trying to relax. She doesn’t feel confident. She doesn’tknow how she can do any of this. She pulls away from Cato slowly,aware of several pairs of eyes on them. Cato smiles sleepily.“What’s that stupid saying, Irri?” he asks. “It’s not ‘goodbye,’it’s ‘see you later?’”

Adamek snorts and Cato shoots him aglare.

“You’re such a clown,” Nazirah says,laughing.

“I brought this for you.” He pulls somethingout of his sweatshirt. It’s Nazirah’s favorite picture of them, theone of her smiling and holding the fish. “Something to remember meby,” he says, looking at Adamek, “When I’m not around to protectyou.”

It’s a beautiful gift, more than she couldhave hoped for. Nazirah hugs the frame tightly to her chest,suddenly afraid of saying goodbye, afraid of losing him entirely.“Thank you,” she whispers.

“I can’t follow you this time, Irri. ButI’ll always be with you,” he says.

“Please be careful.”

“I will,” he says. Hesitating, he adds, “ifyou see my family, just … just tell them I love them. Okay?”

Nazirah nods. “I will.”

Cato leans into her. “Watch your back,” hewhispers into her ear.

“I’ll be fine.” She smiles and gives him achaste kiss on the cheek.

“Touching as this heartwarming display ofaffection is,” Aldrik says, leaning his head out the window, “we’reexpected in Rafu before the end of the war.”

Nazirah bites the inside of her cheek,trying not to laugh. She gives Cato one final quick hug and thenslides into the backseat of the car. Adamek follows her lead,sitting on the opposite side. Aldrik fires the ignition and the carbegins moving. Nazirah watches as Cato and Nikolaus get smaller andsmaller in the distance. They are waving dots for a while as thecar exits the various security gates leading out of the compound,and then Nazirah ca

The ride to Rafu is silent and awkward. Todistract herself, Nazirah stares at Cato’s picture. She smiles,gently tracing her fingers over the seashells on the frame. Adamekruns a hand over one. “If recon doesn’t work out,” he says dryly,blowing glitter off his fingertips, “Caal definitely has a backupcareer in the arts.”

“His little sister glued them on,” she says,unable to look at him. Nazirah is still pretty distraught over whatshe saw in the Iluxor, and she doesn’t know how well she can hideit. She also hasn’t been home since her parents’ funeral. Thethought of returning with him, of all people, feels entirelywrong.

They begin passing familiar scenery. Largesand dunes run perpendicular to alabaster cliffs. The paved roadsnarrow, crack, and eventually become impacted dirt. The housesshrink, sinking to the ground. They transition into the familiarbeach bungalows and cottages of Nazirah’s youth. Children cycle onbicycles, standing on the pegs, laughing and racing. This issouthern Eridies, birthplace of stolen kisses under the boardwalk,endless summer days, and sticky heat.

Aldrik turns down a familiar dirt road.Nazirah catches a glimpse of ocean in the distance and recognizesthe area immediately. The car stops in front of a dilapidated i

Rafu is her home and Nazirah misses it somuch it hurts. But all of it hurts. It hurts to stay away. Andsomehow, it hurts even worse to return.

Chapter Fifteen

The i

Nazirah opens the door to her room, which issmall but mercifully clean. She’s relieved to find that her twobags have already been brought up. Nazirah spends two minutesstuffing her clothes into the tiny dresser. She spends anotherthirty seconds perfectly positioning the photo of her and Cato onthe wicker nightstand.