Intermix Nation

Adamek turns to leave, but something catcheshis eye. There’s a puddle of water pooling outside the door Nazirahassumes leads to Victoria’s bathroom, slightly staining the whitecarpet. And Nazirah knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that sheabsolutely does not want to see what’s behind that door.

Don’t ask a question, if you don’t want toknow the answer.

His words taunt her now, egging her on.Nazirah tries to run away, but is propelled forward by therelentless memory.

Adamek walks towards the door. His face isconfused, but there’s dread there; Nazirah recognizes it well.

Adamek reaches his hand out, shakingslightly. He rests it on the doorknob. Nazirah prays for the doorto be locked, but of course it isn’t. It swings open in one motion,revealing the tableau before them. And, in that moment, so many ofNazirah’s questions are answered. In that moment, she understandsAdamek Morgen perfectly. She knows exactly why he rejected theMedis, knows exactly why Nikolaus trusts him, and knows exactly whyhe’s joined the rebellion. And she wishes, beyond a shadow of adoubt, that she didn’t.

Victoria Morgen lies in the overflowingbathtub, skin pruning and pale. Her head lolls to one side, mouthslightly ajar. The tap is still ru

Gabirel Morgen, Adamek’s father, sitscasually beside her on the drenched edge. He strokes Victoria’slifeless cheek, nonchalantly smoking a cigar. His gun rests in onerelaxed hand, no longer needed, long forgotten.

Chapter Fourteen

Nazirah opens her eyes in Nikolaus’s officeand finds she is screaming. She bites the inside of her arm andgrips the edge of the desk. She sinks onto the floor, gasping,trying to catch her breath.

What has she done? If Nazirah had anyinkling that she would see that, she would have never used theIluxor!

Gagging, Nazirah returns the Iluxor to thebriefcase. She chokes back a sob as she hides the used syringe inthe garbage. Returning the briefcase to the bookshelf, Nazirahcurses herself for her curiosity.

She unlocks Nikolaus’s door, practicallyru

She shouldn’t be surprised; her world haschanged completely in less time.

Nazirah walks towards her room, shaking,grateful that fate doesn’t place anyone she knows in her path. Shedoesn’t stop, doesn’t falter, because she’s afraid she mightcollapse if she does.

This is it. This is the reason Adamek joinedthe rebellion. His father killed his mother. Why, Nazirah doesn’tknow. But Victoria’s unintentional last request was for Adamek tobe better, and that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. And get hisvengeance at the same time.

How has Victoria’s death not made headlines?How has this been kept secret?

Nazirah thinks about the massive news stormsurrounding her parents’ death. Gabirel Morgen had not only usedRiva and Kasimir as a scapegoat for the rebellion, he had also usedthem to divert attention from the murder of his wife. There is nomassive search for a cure for Victoria Morgen, because she’salready dead. She’s been dead for months.

Nazirah abruptly turns into the girls’lavatory. It’s empty and Nazirah runs to the nearest stall, lockingthe door. She breathes in deeply through her nose, trying tocollect herself. Not caring if anyone walks in anymore, Nazirahsits down on the cold floor, pulling her legs up to her chest andresting her head on her knees.

Everything makes sense now, but nothingmakes sense at all. Nazirah has more unanswered questions thanever. Adamek’s Medi tattoo changed, but why? What the hell is themonkey? Why is Victoria dead? Why did Gabirel hide it? What kind ofa twisted freak is Adamek’s father?

God, she doesn’t want this.

Nazirah doesn’t want to feel anything forAdamek besides hate. She doesn’t want to pity him, doesn’t want tounderstand him. She only wants the hate, the hate that blocks outevery other emotion. But she doesn’t just hate him anymore. Shehasn’t for a while. And she hates that. She hates it so much.

It’s his worst memory, finding his mothermurdered. Exactly the same as hers. She almost laughs at the sickirony of it all, hating that they’re more alike than she knew.

Does he force himself to relive that memoryover and over, hoping to deal with the overwhelming grief? Does healso feel like a failure, like a disappointment? Feel like he couldhave prevented it all, if only he did the right thing to beginwith?

She knows why Adamek understands the guiltthat haunts her. It haunts him too.

Nikolaus must know. From the way he lookedat Adamek in his office, Nazirah thinks he’s probably seen thatexact memory as well. It’s probably why he trusted Adamek in thefirst place. If only Nazirah had trusted Nikolaus.

Nazirah knows Adamek will murder her if hefinds out. She knows it like she knows her name. And she has towork with him over the next several weeks. How is she supposed tohide this from him, when she can’t seem to hide anything fromhim?

Nazirah’s breathing slowly returns tonormal. She eventually gets up from the bathroom floor and walksout the door, leaving several surprised, primping girls behind.Making the short journey to her room, she collapses in a heap onher bed, face puffy, body exhausted, and soul weary.

Kasimir, Riva, Aneira, and now Victoria.

The blood can be washed away. But Nazirah’smemory is stained for good.

#

A long time later, or maybe not long at all,someone knocks on her door. Nazirah can’t muster the energy toanswer it. “Come in,” she calls out weakly.

Thankfully, the person on the other side ofthe door hears her. The door swings open, unsurprisingly revealingCato. Cato steps inside, surprisingly revealing Lumi. Even moresurprisingly, revealing Lumi holding a slice of cake.

Cato and Lumi both shoot Nazirah worriedlooks. Cato takes in her haggard, blotchy appearance in sympathy,almost relief. “We heard about your assignment,” he says.

Lumi closes the door and sits beside Nazirahon the bed, offering her the slice. Nazirah accepts it, even thoughshe can’t stomach anything. Cato drops onto Nazirah’s chair.“Everyone’s been talking about it,” Lumi says.

Nazirah can barely process what they aresaying. It feels like an eternity ago that Nikolaus asked her tocampaign around Renatus with Adamek and Aldrik. Do Cato and Lumireally think that is why she’s so upset? It seems so unimportantnow.

“Thanks for the cake.”

It’s all she can get out. She sits upslowly, head cloudy. Nazirah doesn’t want to, but she takes a bigbite, hoping that a full mouth will diminish her responsibility tospeak. It’s not that she doesn’t trust them. Even though Lumi canbe self-absorbed, Nazirah knows she can keep a secret. And Nazirahtrusts Cato with her life. But this thing with Adamek is soprivate, so sensitive, that she can’t share it with anyone.Including her closest friends.

“It was my idea,” Lumi says. “Cato just wentalong with it.”

Nazirah raises an eyebrow at Cato, whoshrugs noncommittally. “How are you handling it?” he asks.

Nazirah chooses to answer honestly. “Isn’tit obvious?” she sighs. “I’m not.”

“It’ll be okay, Irri,” Cato says seriously.“Aldrik will be there to protect you from Morgen. You don’t evenhave to acknowledge that piece of shit, except when you’re givingyour speeches or whatever else Niko wants you to do.”

Lumi stiffens slightly at the mention ofAdamek. As usual, Cato notices nothing. Nazirah doesn’t respond. Ifonly it were that easy. If only she could just ignore him. “Andthink about the opportunity you have,” Lumi says, unusuallycompassionate. “To travel and really make an impact on therebellion! You’ll see the country, including Zima! And you’ll getto go back home.”