Intermix Nation

“But it’s not all I believe, no.”

“You talk about love and power like they’rethe same thing.”

“Aren’t they?” he asks. “Isn’t love just thehighest expression of power? The power over someone’s heart, oversomeone’s soul?”

“No,” Nazirah argues, a

“Spoken by someone who’s never been inlove.”

“And what would a Medi know of love?”

“And what would an intermix know of aMedi?”

“I know enough,” she says, bitternesscreeping into her voice.

“So you say.”

“You don’t believe in an afterlife,then?”

He breaks eye contact first this time,unusually at a loss for words. “I never said that.”

She sips again. “So you do?”

“I’d like to believe i

Nazirah is getting uncomfortable; this isn’twhere she was expecting the conversation to go. But she’s curiousabout him. And, in a rare moment of ope

“But you aren’t Eridian,” Adamek points out.“At least, not fully.” His voice is even but his eyes areinquisitve. “Can you honestly tell me that’s what you believe? Thatamnesty always carries over, even in death? That everyone, nomatter how terrible their actions, gets a reprieve?”

Nazirah knows what he’s asking. Does shereally believe that he, Adamek, will face no judgment at the end ofhis life, when the time comes for him to make his peace with thegods? “I don’t know what I believe,” she whispers.

“You’ll figure it out,” he says.

“Is that why you got the dusza?” she askshim suddenly. “Because you’re worried about your soul?” It’s out ofher mouth and she can’t take it back. Surprise registers on hisface for a second and then is gone.

“Perhaps,” he says. Adamek stands, thestrain of the night clear in his movements.

Nazirah follows. She wonders what this mustbe like for him, to see death from the other side of the coin.

Not there for the kill, but for thefallout.

“Do you think it’ll work?”

Adamek is silent for a long time before heresponds. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“Irri!”

Cato shouts from the distance, lookinganxious and worried. Nazirah waves at him reassuringly, turningback to Adamek one last time. “I’ve never been in love,” she saysquietly. Nazirah doesn’t know why she’s saying this, but she knowsshe wants him to hear it. “But I have loved and I know enough aboutit to understand.… I had the best teachers.”

She begins walking away. Adamek lightlygrabs her arm, stopping her. “The best teacher is life,” he says,so quietly that Nazirah struggles to hear him. “And you haven’tlived enough to know much of anything yet.”

“You’re a year older than me, Morgen,”Nazirah responds crossly. She pulls her arm away. “And youhave?”

“It’s not a matter of age,” he says. “That’snot what I mean.”

“And what exactly do you mean?”

“Irri!” yells Cato again, interrupting them.“What are you doing?”

“You should get some rest,” Adamek says,dismissing her question.

Nazirah huffs, knowing she won’t get anymore answers from him tonight. She looks at the empty mug in herhand. “Thanks for the poison,” she says, giving him a crooked smilebefore turning to leave.

#

Aneira’s funeral is solemn and moving. Lumiand Yuki make heartfelt, unscripted speeches about Aneira’s shortbut meaningful life, her intelligence, her keen observance, herpatience and her spirit. They pray she’s in a better place, ahappier place. They promise to honor her through their actions. Asthey speak, Nazirah makes her own vow. She promises to stop messingaround, to stop being concerned with only her life, to stop ru

She will fight.

She will not be passive in this war anymore,because she knows what happens when she is. Another life lost,another weight added onto her already slumping shoulders. The guiltgrows heavier and Nazirah’s heart grows heavier too.

She spots Adamek in the crowd, sitting alonein the last row. His hands are clenched and he stares at them.Nazirah thinks about their strange conversation. She wonders whatit all means. She wonders why she cares when, only a few days ago,she was revolted by him. She wonders what’s changed.

She thinks it might be her.

Following Eridian tradition, floatinglanterns are lit and released. It’s a haunting way to say goodbye.Nazirah watches the lanterns drift across the sky, spreadingtwilight in the air. She sees Lumi alone at a nearby picnic table.Nazirah sits down, not saying anything. She just wants to be therefor her. Their differences seem so petty now.

“This is my fault,” Lumi says sadly. Nazirahwants to tell her that it’s not her fault, that she can’t blameherself. But she knows exactly how Lumi feels. And she knows fromher own experience that those words won’t help. “I’ve been soselfish lately,” Lumi continues, staring at her delicate hands.“I’ve been selfish my entire life.”

Nazirah glances at Adamek, who is consolingLord Grigori. “We can’t control the actions of others,” shesays.

Lumi shakes her head, dams bursting from hereyes. “No, Nazirah! That’s no excuse. I’ve been ru

“No one knew what Ani was going through,”Nazirah says. She knows it’s the wrong thing to say as soon as itleaves her mouth. Lumi glares blue icicles.

“I should have known,” she growls, pointinga finger inwards. “She was my sister! I should have known!”

Nazirah gently encloses Lumi’s hand withinher own. “Lumi, what happened to Ani is awful and tragic. But shewouldn’t want you to live your life in her sadness. She would wantyou to move on, to make sure Yuki grows up happy. You have to bestronger than your sister was. You have to find that i

“I just wish my mother were still here,”Lumi cries. “She always knew what to do. I can only ever hope to belike her. But I’m sure you know exactly how that feels.”

“I do.”

Nazirah remembers Riva, her warmth andcompassion. Inspiration flowed from her fingertips like milk andwisdom dripped from her mouth like honey. Lumi laughs bitterly,tracing the wood grain of the table. “One thing we have incommon.”

“I’m sure there are other things,” Nazirahsays, smiling. “We just have to find them.”

Lumi picks her fingernails. “What I’ve beendoing lately, Nazirah, seems so stupid now. I was hoping to makeCato jealous. But Cato doesn’t even see me.”

“Cato’s oblivious to pretty mucheverything.”

“Not when it comes to you,” Lumi says.

“You’d be surprised,” Nazirah replies.“Sometimes you really have to spell things out for him.”

“Should I tell him I slept with Adamek?”

Nazirah coughs awkwardly. “That’s up to you.Morgen can be very persuasive when he wants.”

“I approached him, actually,” she says.

“Really?”

Lumi shrugs. “I heard the rumors, needed therelease.”

Nazirah doesn’t want to hear anymore.“Right.”

“Do you think I’m a whore?”

“Not at all!” Nazirah says honestly. “Ithink he’s a scumbag, though.”