Intermix Nation

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Her voice is smalland frightened. “Is Niko okay? Are we under attack?”

“He’s fine and we’re safe,” Cato says,taking her hands. “I don’t really know how to tell you this. I just… I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else.”

“What’s happened?”

His voice cracks. “It’s Aneira.”

“Is she okay?” she asks. Nazirah alreadyknows she isn’t. Cato wouldn’t be here if she were.

He shakes his head. “She wasn’t happy here,Irri,” Cato says. “I think we all knew that. But no one could haveknown … could have ever imagined how unhappy. She’s at peacenow.”

Nazirah lets go of his hands, shaking. Thiscan’t be right. This has to be a dream, a mistake. This can’t behappening again.

Her parents, dead on the floor.

Aneira. Kind Aneira, who was always so sadand lonely. Who was going through an awkward phase without a motherto guide her, and now would never blossom. Who was ripped from herhome and now would never return. Cato could say all he wanted. Butthis … this tragedy … could have been prevented. Should have beenprevented. She feels sick. “Oh, God, Lumi!” she sobs, “And Yuki! Dothey know?”

“They do,” he says sadly.

She feels dizzy, is having trouble formingcohesive thoughts. “When?”

“About an hour ago, outside,” he says. “Shestole a gun from the armory.” Nazirah turns away from him, gagging.“She left a note.” Cato is having difficulty saying the words. “Iheard the gun go off from my bedroom window. I ran outside andfound her, but.…” He is crying too. He leans against the hallwaywall for support, unable to finish.

Nazirah understands. The guilt and thegrief, the feeling like you could have done more, if only you werethere sooner. It’s the absolute worst feeling in the world.“There’s nothing you could have done, Cato,” she whispers. “Youcouldn’t have saved her.” Nazirah gently wipes his tears and wrapsher arms around him, holding him tight.

“I wanted you to find out from someone youtrusted,” he mumbles into her shoulder.

Where’s Lumi?”

“Outside with the others,” he says. “Shewon’t leave the body.”

Something intrinsic calls Nazirah to action.They can’t just stand there and do nothing, not while Lumi needsthem. Nazirah grabs Cato’s hand lightly, pulling him towards thestaircase. “Walk with me.”

Cato stops. “Nazirah, no!” he says sharply.“You don’t have to go down there. You don’t need to see that.”

“Lumi needs us right now,” Nazirah replieshonestly. “How can I just go back to sleep, knowing what’shappening?”

Cato contemplates her words, searches for acounter-argument, but Nazirah has already won. Because this is theright thing to do, what they should have been doing all along. Henods silently, and she leads them downstairs.

In what feels like a surreal dream, theyexit the staircase and make their way towards the back entrance.Only a few people are scattered throughout the hallways. Most ofthe rebels have not been notified yet. They remain upstairssleeping, unaware. The ones that are awake embrace one anothersolemnly.

Outside, on the grounds, a large crowd ofpeople gathers. A shroud covers Aneira’s body on the grass. LordGrigori weeps over it, head in hands. Yuki clutches Lumi. She isonly twelve, too young to understand, too old not to.

Bilungi is there, tears in her eyes and afirm expression on her face. She and several other healers lightsmall red candles on the ground around Aneira’s body.

“It’s a Deathland tradition,” Cato whispers,“that helps the soul pass more easily into the afterlife.”

Nazirah is about to approach Lumi whenNikolaus spots her. He breaks off from speaking with Adamek andGloom and Doom and walks towards her. He looks gaunt andexhausted.

Niko addresses Cato in hushed anger. “Whatis she doing here?” he snaps. “I specifically told you not to wakeher.”

“Stop treating me like a child, Niko – likeI can’t handle this!” Nazirah argues quietly. “I wanted to come –for Lumi, for Ani!”

Nikolaus is about to argue, but Aldrik pullshim aside. Nazirah wastes no time. She walks towards Lumi, whostares silently at the shroud. Yuki is gone from her side, tryingto comfort her inconsolable father. Nazirah gently touches Lumi’sback. Lumi turns around, looking straight at Nazirah but not reallyseeing her. Once she realizes who it is, a moment or two later, sheembraces Nazirah deeply.

The two of them stand there for a long time,both crying, both understanding the other’s pain. Bilungi and thehealers finish lighting the candles. They chant and hum and pray.Cato comes up behind them. He holds Lumi as she collapses heavilyon the grass, sobbing. Nazirah sits down beside them. Hundreds ofcandles flicker around her, but Nazirah feels no warmth from theflames.

Bilungi blesses Aneira’s body. Nikolaus andAldrik gingerly lift the shroud, carrying her towards the hospital.The surviving Grigoris follow behind in a heartbreaking procession.Cato appears conflicted, wanting to stay with Nazirah but alsowanting to make sure Lumi is okay. Nazirah waves him away.

Nazirah sits in darkness, sky cloudy andstarless. It’s colder than usual, dead outside, the only lightcoming from the candles. Nazirah watches in a daze as the crowdthins.

The grounds empty. People awkwardly hover.They straggle, not talking to one another, not knowing what to door how to act or who to be. Nazirah knows the feeling well.

Why did Aneira take her own life?

As the shock wears off, Nazirah feels thefamiliar pull of sadness and guilt. She cradles her head betweenshivering knees, not caring that her thin nightgown and bare feetoffer little protection from the chill.

These deaths are all so senseless. Kasimir,Riva … now Ani. Why didn’t Nazirah talk to her more, appreciate hermore? She knew she was lonely. Nazirah has no excuse for heractions, other than selfishness.

Someone sits down beside her on the grass. Amug of hot tea is thrust into her hand. “Cato, I’m fi –” Nazirahlooks up, realizing it’s not Cato after all. “Is it poisoned?” sheasks, trying to wrap her head around the fact that Adamek is here,offering her some type of comfort. She sees the hesitation on hisface and takes a big sip without waiting for an answer.

“I guess we’ll find out soon enough,” hereplies.

Nazirah stares at the negative space betweenthe candles where Aneira’s body used to be. “Could have spiked it,at least.”

“Next time,” Adamek says without thinking.He cringes, fingering his pendant aimlessly. “That’s not what Imeant.”

“It’s okay,” Nazirah says honestly. “I knewwhat you meant.” It feels strange to be with him like this, whenjust a week ago they were literally at each other’s throats. But itfeels right too, somehow. Nazirah’s fingers idly circle the top ofher mug. “Do you think she’s at peace now?”

Adamek shrugs. “Who knows?” he says. “Has tobe better than this hell though, right?”

His honestly is refreshing. Cato andNikolaus would tell her that of course she’s at peace. But howcould they know for sure?

“What do the Medis believe happens in theafterlife?” she asks curiously, taking a sip.

“Medis don’t believe in an afterlife,” hereplies. “Medis don’t believe in anything.”

Nazirah bites her lip, thinking hard. Itmakes sense. How could the Medis justify their cruelty, theirsavageness, if they believed in a moral code? “Nothing at all?”

Adamek stares at her. Nazirah is suddenlyaware that she’s in her pajamas next to him. “If the Medis believein anything,” he says, “they believe in power. And using any andall means to get it.”

“And is that what you believe?” she asksquietly.

“There’s something to be said for it,” hetells her, choosing his words carefully. “The power to make yourown choices, the power over your own life, the power to be who youwant to be, live where you want to live, love who you want tolove.”

Nazirah looks away.