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“Sure thing, Mrs. Dubose.”
So Tate read to Narnie all night and in the morning, when Tate could hardly keep her eyes open and Narnie could actually see some kind of light, they both closed their eyes.
“One day, if you need me to, I’ll be Jem and you be Mrs. Dubose,” Narnie promised sleepily.
“I’ll hold you to that,” Tate said softly, and they both slept.
Back in my room, the stand-off with the dying cat ends. It’s listless as I hold it in my arms and suddenly I’m engulfed with a feeling of love for it and a need to set it free. I consider the best place and take it out to a spot in Ha
For a long time I sit and watch it, but it doesn’t move. It doesn’t run away, like I expected. It doesn’t hiss or snarl. It’s like it wants to give up but doesn’t know how.
“Go!” I tell it, but it’s shivering, its misery so visible that for the second time today I find myself crying. I remember what Ha
Later, I lie on the sand bar in the river, my body shaking from the cold, but I feel a peace come over me. As I drift off to sleep, I sense that I’m not alone and I feel myself being carried and it’s like I’m back in my childhood, on the shoulders of a giant again, happy.
When I wake up I’m in my room and Raffaela and Ms. Morris are there.
“Would you like something to eat?” Ms. Morris asks gently.
I nod. She walks out and Raffaela fusses with the blankets around me, avoiding my gaze. We don’t talk for a moment or two and I take her hand to stop the fussing.
She clutches onto it and it’s the safest I’ve felt since Ha
“I’m going to look for my mother,” I tell her quietly.
“No,” she says, and I can hear her frustration. “This is your home, Taylor, regardless of what you think it is. When school finishes next year, we’ll go to uni in Bathurst and then you can come back here and stay with Ha
But Raffy knows it’s a lost cause.
“Raffy,” I ask, “remember the dorms? I told you something about what happened in the city when I was young. You cried. Do you remember?”
She doesn’t move for a moment. Her face is pinched and tense and then she nods.
“Well, I can’t remember and I need you to tell me what it was.”
She shakes her head emphatically.
“That’s my memory,” I say firmly. “Mine. You need to give it back to me.”
“What you told me,” she begins, “won’t lead to your mother. It’ll just make you remember something that should be forgotten and never spoken about again. You’re right. It is your memory and you have more right to it than me but I’m holding this one, Taylor.”
“You need to ask Santangelo what he knows,” I try instead.
“Santangelo knows nothing,” she says, and she’s crying. “He’s an idiot. He thinks he’s going to be a big-shot Fed and he thinks he’s too good-looking and he feels too much and never forgives anything and I hate him because he’s going to make you go crazy.”
I hold on to her tightly. “Don’t,” I say. “I need you to help me run this House…this school and I can’t do that if we’re both crying.”
“When the Brigadier carried you in here…I thought you were dead…. I always think you’re going to do something to yourself, Taylor….”
I let go of her and shake my head. “Not interested in dying just yet,” I say, getting out of bed.
When I walk out of my room, I stop suddenly. They all seem to be there. The seniors in my House. Some sitting on the steps, leaning on the railing, standing around. As if they’ve been waiting for me. I don’t know what to say to them but as I make my way down the stairs, I realise they are all looking for something in my face to show that I’m okay. There’s so much silence that it eats away at my skin and leaves me exposed.
Do I remember what Raffaela said in the car park of the Evangelical church?
“Who do you believe in?” she had repeated as if it was the dumbest question she’d ever heard. “I believe in you, Taylor Markham.”
“Di
I walk into the dorm study towards Jessa and Chloe P. I sit down next to Chloe, take the protractor out of her trembling hand, and make a perfect circle. My hand is shaking, too, and when I look up, I see fear in Jessa’s eyes. I feel like those psycho fathers in movies: one minute abusive, next minute human.
“I’ll come and find you next time Ha
I nod, swallowing hard. My hands are still shaking.
Jessa takes hold of both my scratched hands, pressing them until they stop. “That’s what my dad used to do when I was scared,” she tells me.
Later, I stand side by side with Ms. Morris and Raffaela and the other seniors preparing di
Chapter 13
Three things happen in the next week that keep us tense and on edge.
First, we hear on the news that two girls have gone missing from the highway near a town named Rabine. It’s nowhere near us but Jessa manages to convince everyone that we could be next. Second, Richard attempts a coup and sends out word to the Townies and Cadets that, due to unforeseen circumstances, he is taking control of the UC. And finally, the Cadets, true to form, exploit the situation and take three Darling House girls hostage.
“What are they playing at?” I say to Raffaela and Ben as we race towards the clearing.
“They sent a message back with Chloe P.”
“Is she okay?”
“Kind of. She’s halfway between total hysteria and total excitement, so it could go either way.”
“Richard thinks he’s in charge,” Raffaela says.
Like hell he is.
News has got around quickly and a mass exodus from the Houses takes place, with most people joining up in the valley outside Murrumbidgee House where Trini, the leader of Darling House, is being consoled. Ben gives a wave to two of the teachers who are looking at us suspiciously, and the sobbing from Trini is put on hold.
“Bushwalk!” he calls out to them. “You interested?”
They wave us off and walk away and once they are out of sight the sobbing re-commences.
“Let’s go,” I say, breaking into a run. We take the trail just behind Murray House, which is probably the densest and least cultivated.