From What I Remember

We’ve now been driving for a while; we’re nearly in Tijuana. We’re making good time. If all goes well, we should be back by ten thirty, eleven. Maybe I’ll even have time to change. I realize I’m going to have to call my mom and come up with some kind of explanation for why I’m still not home, where I’ve been, and why I’m wearing a bright pink dress that looks distinctly South of the Border.

“You working on your speech, Kylie?” Max leans over from the back. His head is nearly flush with mine; his hair grazes mine. I feel a shiver shoot up my spine. I wish he didn’t do that to me. It would be much easier to pretend I don’t give a shit if my body would just play along.

I glance at him and can’t help catching an eyeful of Lily as well. She looks as sour as ever. Max is suddenly pretending to care. Please. Fool me once. Not twice. When Lily arrived he fell right back into old patterns. Last night was just a temporary deviation from form, or as he told Lily, “temporary insanity.” Once an asshole, always an asshole.

I’m not interested in conversation. That ship has sailed. We are no longer whatever we were last night. We’re not even friends. I may not regret the experience, but that doesn’t mean I want his pity.

“Uh, yeah,” I say.

“Want to read it to us? Try it out?”

“No. I don’t.” I turn around and give my computer my full attention, hoping something brilliant will come to mind. Maybe I can add a line here or there, incrementally improve things.

“The whole valedictorian thing is so stupid and overrated,” Lily says to no one in particular.

“I doubt you’d think it was overrated if you were the one chosen, like me,” I say. I’m in no mood for her attitude, and I’m in no mood to let her get away with it, either.

“Whatever. I so don’t care.”

“Lily, you care more than anyone,” Charlie adds. “You just weren’t first. Like Kylie.”

Charlie hasn’t said much this whole car ride, but what he has said hasn’t been anything like what I assumed he’d say. It’s a shock to my system. He’s not such an awful guy. I’m actually starting to like him. Guess I shouldn’t have kicked him in the shin.

“I wanted to come in first, but I never wanted the responsibility of the speech. It’s too much pressure. You spend all this time working on it, and then no one really listens, and the few people who do rip it to shreds. You just can’t win,” Lily says. “I feel bad for you, Kylie. I really do. I know how much work you’ve probably put into it. And I know how hard it’s going to be to pull it off.”

Lily isn’t fooling me. She’s trying to psych me out. Not going to work.

“Kylie’s speech is going to blow people away. I’ve heard it and it rocks. So shut your piehole, Lily,” Will snaps.

“I heard some of it too, and I’m sure Kylie’s going to be great,” Max says.

What a lie. He hated what he heard. Don’t bother defending me. I can fight my own battles, dude.

“You know what, Lily, I don’t really care what you or anyone else thinks. It’s one speech. One day. It’s like a sneeze in our lives.” I refuse to let Lily think she’s won. Sure, she’s gotten to Max. But she hasn’t gotten to me.

“It can be pretty embarrassing if it doesn’t go well. Three years ago, Janelle Davis gave such a bad speech, I heard that she’s still too embarrassed to come visit.”

“Lily!” Max scolds.

“What? I’m just saying…”

“Kylie, I meant to ask you guys earlier, but then it completely slipped my mind, with Guido the killer pimp after us. Why are you and Max wearing wedding rings? Must have gotten pretty serious last night,” Will says.

Oh, no. I know what Will’s doing. Trying to bitch slap Lily. But this isn’t the way.

“What?” Lily says, turning to Max. “You have a wedding ring?”

“Uh, not exactly,” Max says, sheepish.

I can’t help myself: I turn around and look at Max’s hand and discover he isn’t wearing his anymore. I slip mine off and put it in my pocket.

“Pretty sure I saw one on each of you this morning,” Will says. “Wait, wasn’t there a massive group wedding on the pier last night? You guys didn’t actually tie the knot in a crazy fit of spontaneity, did you? Because, I mean, you were both pretty wasted.”

I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I don’t want to do this.

Not here. Not now. The space is too claustrophobic. I turn around and shoot Will a look, but he ignores me.

“I mean, it wouldn’t surprise me. You looked pretty in love—”

“No! Nothing like that happened,” I say, cutting Will off, even though I’m not sure what exactly happened. My recollection is a little vague. I want to ask Max in privacy and then deal with the consequences later. Not in the car, with everyone listening.

“Actually, we did. We got married. On the pier. With about thirty other couples,” Max says. Jesus, what is he doing?

“What?!” Lily and I say it at the exact same time.

“Jinx,” Will says.

“Are you kidding me?” Lily spews her venom on Max. “You said nothing happened. It was all a mistake, temporary insanity. This is not nothing.”

“Which is a double negative, meaning something happened,” Will adds.

I need to stop this.

“Trust me, it was nothing,” I say. “We’re not really married. It was like a game on the pier. We both know it wasn’t real, right, Max?”

“I guess so,” Max says, without conviction. C’mon, help me out here.

“It was nothing,” I say again, wanting to emphasize my point.

“From what I saw last night, it sure didn’t look like nothing,” Will adds, not helping the situation at all.

“Well, it was,” I tell Will, shooting him yet another look, hoping he’ll actually get the point this time and shut the hell up.

“You can’t just get married without a license or anything,” I say. “Right?” I’m actually asking because I’m not quite sure, and I could use a bit of reassurance.

“Right,” Max says. “You need a license.”

“I ca

“Lily, calm down,” I say. “You heard Max. We’re not really married. You need a license. It was a goof. No big deal. A joke.” I don’t know why I’m trying to appease her. I guess because I don’t want this thing blowing up any more than it already has. What good can it do? I want to get to school without further damage.

“Max, why are you doing this to me?” Lily’s voice has risen ten octaves. It’s hurting my ears.

“Lily, we talked about this. Nothing happened. Chill.”

“Don’t tell me to chill,” Lily spits out. “I think I deserve some details about last night.” Her anger is in full bloom.

I know I’ve been pushing Max away, not interested in ever speaking to him again, but something about the way he says “nothing” infuriates me. And the truth is, I still don’t know what happened last night, after we got back to Manuel’s. I’ve been giving him the benefit of the doubt, hoping he was a gentleman. But now I want details too. I spin around in my seat and look at Max.

“You know what, Max,” I say. “I would actually like to know what happened, too. What does that mean, ‘nothing’?”

I should not be going down this road, but I’m exhausted, hurt, hungry, and angry. Not a great combination. So much for minimal damage.

“Let’s get it all out in the open,” I say.

“I’m all for that,” Lily chimes in.

Max looks panicked, furious. He’s being pressed on all sides.

“Maybe you guys should talk about this later? When we’re all not around and things have calmed down,” Charlie says.

“You know what? Charlie makes a good point,” Juan says. Too late, Juan. We’re in it. Bummer you had to be here.

“Fine.” Max looks from me to Lily. “Kylie, you want to know what happened last night? Lily, you want to know?”

“Yes,” we both say in unison.

“Nothing.” Max spits this out. “Okay? Nothing. What that means is that Kylie and I did not have sex. We slept together. As in fell asleep. That’s all. We were too drunk to do anything else.” As he says this particular piece, he looks me directly in the eye. “And we got married, but as Kylie pointed out, it doesn’t mean a thing. It wasn’t real. Nothing about the night was real. It was a stupid, drunken game. We barely know each other.”