From What I Remember

“That would be kind of weird.”

“Yeah, maybe.…”

“And it would start to smell.”

Max doesn’t say anything; he just gazes down at me. I realize that he is going to kiss me. We’ve been on the verge of this for what seems like weeks. The interruptions have only added to the anticipation. I’m literally shaking from the suspense, the desire. Max leans into me, his lips hover over mine. I can feel the warmth from his breath. I want his lips on mine so badly my whole body feels the craving like a deep ache. My pulse races. I try to slow it down, breathing deep. I’m waiting, eager, and scared to death. I’ve never done this before.

Max’s lips move in, and, at the same time, due to nerves or some kind of sudden onset of Tourette’s, I turn the slightest bit to the left and his kiss lands on my cheek. I’m mortified and disappointed. Such an amateur. I completely blew it. I’m a total freak.

Max pulls away, not much, just enough to look at me. Is he mad? Hurt? Confused? It would all make sense. I mean, what am I doing sending mixed signals like this? I don’t know what I’m doing, that’s the problem.

But he’s none of those things. He breaks into a big smile.

“How about we try that again?” he asks.

“Excellent idea.”

Max takes my face in his hands, to prevent any sudden moves, I’m guessing, and plants his sweet, soft lips on mine, and then I hear—

“Go for it, Kylie!!” Someone yells from a window above the plaza. Someone who sounds suspiciously like Will.

Max takes his lips off of mine. No. Wait. Please. Don’t go.…

Damn. What the hell? Foiled again.

We both look up and scan the buildings nearby. I can see someone leaning out of a fourth-story window, waving a T-shirt in the air like a war surrender.

“Kylie! Over here.”

It’s Will. I’m happy to see him but pissed at the terrible timing.

“‘Darling, I don’t know how to tell you this, but there’s a Chinese family in our bathroom,’” he yells from the window.

On the upside, we found Will. On the downside, we lost the moment. Maybe we’ll find it again.

“Your movie thing?” Max asks me.

“(500) Days of Summer.”

“Get your butts up here. Now,” Will insists. “We’ve got a party going on and we’ve been waiting forever for you guys to show up.”

That makes absolutely no sense, which is perfectly consistent with this whole day.

hat took you guys so long?” Will is standing in the doorway of an apartment where a party rages behind him. He’s wearing jeans, a button-down shirt, and flip- flops. This is not the Will Bixby that’s been flying his gay flag as high as he can for six years.

“We’ve been looking for you for the past two hours,” Kylie says.

“Look no further, darlings, ’cause here I am!” Will exclaims, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he left us stranded.

“Yeah, would have been nice to know where you went,” Kylie says.

“Shit happened, if you know what I mean.”

“Why do you look so…straight?” Kylie asks.

“I’m trying something new,” Will says. “Just like you.” He peers at Kylie with a knowing look, and she turns away.

He obviously saw us dancing, kissing. I feel embarrassed for Kylie and for me. I really don’t need Will Bixby making jokes at my expense.

“Dude, you totally disappeared on us,” I say. “We can’t leave till morning now.”

“My bad. Sorry. Guess we’ll just have to party our asses off until then.”

“Seriously, Will, I’m not missing graduation,” Kylie says.

“No worries, Kyles. Your chariot awaits in the morning. I’ll get you to that podium in plenty of time. I just think we oughta play while we’re in the game. You only live once, baby doll.”

Will is acting like we’re fashionably late to a party we didn’t even know about. Normally I’d be pissed, but I can’t exactly be mad at the guy who drove to Mexico on a moment’s notice to get us.

“Loving the look,” Will says to Kylie, referring to her dress. “It’s so not you. And that’s a very good thing.”

“Max made me get it.”

“Max Langston has taste. Who knew? I’m impressed. God knows, I couldn’t get Kylie into a dress if my life depended on it,” Will tells me.

“She should wear them more often, right?” I’m talking to Will but looking at Kylie.

“Okay, message received. I dress like shit most of the time.”

“Not most of the time,” I say.

“All the time,” Will says.

“That’s not what I meant,” I say, because it isn’t.

“I’m officially insulted,” Kylie says.

“I’m officially kidding,” Will says. “You look hot in jeans and a T-shirt, but even hotter in a crazy-ass Mexican dress.” He polishes off the rest of his beer. “Okay. I need another one,” he says. “And so do you guys. You’re way too sober.”

“Trust me, we’re not sober. We’ve been drinking all night,” I say.

“Well, you’re more sober than me. You guys need to play catch-up. Especially since no one’s driving anywhere tonight. The bar’s in the kitchen. Help yourself. I’ll be floating around the room on a cloud of romance and inebriation. Come find me.”

And with that, Will disappears.

“He is one wack dude,” I say, hoping Kylie won’t take it the wrong way.

“Yep. No doubt about it. And I love that about him.”

I look around the room. Techno music throbs from giant speakers. The smell of smoke mingles with the unmistakable scent of aftershave. The room is crammed full of guys, totally cut, wearing tight T-shirts, grinding into one another on a makeshift dance floor.

Shit. I should have figured. This is the ultimate gay boy house party, Mexican style. Will must be in heaven. As I’m having this epiphany, I can’t help but notice Kylie taking in the room at the same time. She bites her lip to stop from giggling. I know what she’s thinking. That this is not my scene. At all. She couldn’t be more right about that. I’m probably the only straight guy in the room, and Kylie is one of the few girls. I want to get out of here.

Will reappears with three beers. “Since you didn’t get to the bar yet, I brought the bar to you. No thanks required. But you’re on your own from now on.”

As Will hands me a beer, he leans in to me, close. A little too close. He’s already kissed me once. I’m not down for another shot. I step away, but Will grabs my hand. Damn, he’s stronger than he looks.

“Max, break our Kylie’s heart and I will hunt you down like a dog. And tear you apart.” I never thought of Will Bixby as anything more than a joke. But he’s not. He’s fierce in his love and concern for Kylie. And kind of scary as his eyes bore into me.

“I won’t. Don’t worry,” I say. He lets me go.

Juan waves from across the room.

“Okay, kiddies, time for me to fly. Try to mingle. And if you can’t mingle, dance. And if you can’t dance…well, you’ll come up with something.”

Kylie and I watch as Will rushes up to Juan, tosses an arm around his shoulder, and nuzzles into his neck. And then they’re kissing. Full on, frontal. Juan seems way, way out of the closet. Hard to believe he’s trying to keep any of this a secret from his family.

Juan slips his hands into Will’s jeans pockets and pulls him close. They sway to the music. I’ve never seen two dudes kiss before. Okay, I saw Brokeback Mountain, and I was a little weirded out by it. But somehow, in the flesh, it’s different. It’s not as strange as I would have thought. Not that much different than a guy and a girl. They actually seem kinda sweet together. Still, I don’t need to be here watching it all.

“Wow. The caterpillar has finally turned into a butterfly,” Kylie says.

“He was always pretty butterfly-ish, no?”

“Less so than you’d think. He talks a big game, but he’s never really been with a guy. Until now, I guess.”