Forbidden

Reality has been altered, or at least my perception of it has dramatically changed. Everything feels different, looks different . . . For a few moments I am not even sure who I am any more. This boy, this man, lying in my arms has become a part of me. We have a new identity together: two parts of a whole. In the last few minutes, everything between us changed for ever. I saw Lochie as no one had ever seen him, felt him inside me, sensed him at his most vulnerable, opened myself up to him in turn. In those few minutes I took him inside me, became a part of him, as close as two separate beings could ever be.

He slowly raises his head from my shoulder and looks down at me with a worried gaze. ‘Are you OK?’ he pants softly.

I nod, smiling. ‘Yes.’

He heaves a sigh of relief and presses his mouth against my neck, the sweat ru

Then, from the doorway, comes a shattering scream.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Lochan

Never in my life have I heard such a terrible sound. A scream of pure horror, of undiluted hatred and fury and rage. And it keeps coming, rising louder and louder, closer and closer, blocking out the sun, sucking out everything: the love, the warmth, the music, the joy. Tearing at the brilliant light all around us, slashing against our naked bodies, ripping the smile from our faces, the breath from our lungs.

Maya grabs hold of me in horror, arms wrapped around me, gripping me tight, face pressed against my chest, as if imploring her body to merge into mine. For a moment I ca

As soon as her horrified eyes make contact with mine, she launches herself at us, grabbing me by the hair and yanking back my head with astonishing force. Her fists pound against me, her long nails cutting into my arms, my shoulders, my back. I don’t even try to push her off. My arms circle Maya’s head, my body presses down over hers, acting as a human shield between her and this madwoman, desperately trying to protect her from the attack.

Maya cries out in terror beneath me, trying to bury herself in the mattress, pulling me down against her with all her might. But then the shrieks begin to coalesce into words, perforating my frozen brain, and I hear: ‘Get off her! Get off her! You monster! You evil, twisted monster! Get off my baby! Get off! Get off! Get off!’

I will not move, will not let go of Maya even as I continue to be yanked by the hair and half dragged from the bed. Maya, suddenly realizing that the intruder is our mother, starts struggling to free herself from my grasp.

‘No! Mum! Leave him! Leave him! He didn’t do anything! What are you doing? You’re hurting him! Don’t hurt him! Don’t hurt him! Don’t hurt him!’

She is screaming at her now, sobbing in terror, pulling herself out from beneath me, trying to reach over and fight Mum off, but I won’t let them touch, won’t let the monster reach her. When I see a clawed hand descend towards Maya’s face, I swing my arm wildly, making contact with Mum’s shoulder. She staggers back and there is a thud, the sound of books tumbling from shelves, and she is gone, her wails echoing all the way down to the floor below.

I leap from the bed, hurl myself at the bedroom door and slam it shut, shooting the bolt across.

‘Quick!’ I yell at Maya, grabbing knickers and T-shirt from her clothes pile and tossing them over. ‘Put them on. She’ll come back with Dave or someone. The lock’s not strong enough—’

Maya is sitting in the middle of the bed, sheet clutched to her chest, hair wild and tangled, face white with shock and wet with tears.

‘She can’t do anything to us,’ she says desperately, her voice rising. ‘She can’t do anything, she can’t do anything!’

‘It’s all right, Maya. It’s all right, it’s all right. Just please put these on. She’s going to be back!’

I can only find my underwear – the rest of my stuff must be buried beneath the heap of fallen books.

Maya pulls on her clothes, leaps up and runs over to the open window. ‘We can climb out,’ she gasps. ‘We can jump—’

I yank her back, forcing her to sit down on the bed. ‘Listen to me. We can’t run away – they’d catch us anyway, and think, Maya, think! What about the others? We can’t just abandon them. We’re going to wait here, OK? No one’s going to hurt you, I promise. Mum’s just being hysterical. And she wasn’t trying to attack you, she was trying to rescue you. From me.’ I am fighting for breath.

‘I don’t care!’ Maya is shouting again, tears coursing down her cheeks. ‘Look what she did to you, Lochie! Your back is bleeding! I can’t believe she hurt you like that! She was pulling out your hair! She – she—’

‘Shh, sweetheart, shh . . .’ Turning to face her on the edge of the bed, I clasp the tops of her arms in an attempt to hold her still. ‘Maya, you’ve got to calm down. You’ve got to listen to me. No one’s going to hurt us, d’you understand? They just want to rescue you—’

‘From what?’ she sobs. ‘From who? They can’t take me away from you! They can’t, Lochie, they can’t!’

More yelling. We both freeze at the sound, this time coming from the street. I am the first to reach the window. Mum is pacing up and down in front of the house, shouting and screaming into her mobile phone.

‘You’ve got to come now!’ she’s sobbing. ‘Oh God, please hurry! He’s already punched me, and now he’s bolted himself in with her! When I went in, he tried to suffocate her! I think he’s going to kill her!’

Curious neighbours are popping their heads out of windows and doors, some already hurrying across the street towards her. I feel myself break out in a cold sweat and my legs threaten to give way.

‘She’s calling Dave,’ Maya shouts, trying to pull away as I drag her from the window. ‘He’s going to break the door down. He’s going to beat you up! I’ve got to go down and explain everything! I’ve got to tell them you haven’t done anything wrong!’

‘Don’t, Maya, don’t. You can’t! It won’t make any difference! You have to stay here and listen. I have to talk to you.’

Suddenly I know what I must do. I know that there is only one solution, only one way left to save Maya and the kids from harm. But she won’t listen, struggling and kicking her bare feet against my legs as I lock my arms around her to stop her from ru

‘Maya, you have to listen. I – I think I have a plan, but you’ve got to listen or it won’t work. Please, sweetheart. I’m begging you!’

Maya stops struggling. ‘OK, Lochie, OK,’ she whimpers. ‘Tell me, I’m listening. I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want.’