Back to You

He looked at her before he shook his head gently. She could see it in his eyes, that he genuinely didn’t believe what she was saying. And suddenly, it struck her why.

In that moment, she was overcome with such a rush of anger that it startled her.

“You’ve been conditioned this way because of her,” she said through a clenched jaw as she gestured angrily downstairs. “Because she made you feel guilty for it all. And it’s disgusting.” She was trying so hard to remain calm, but her voice was shaking with the effort.

“When your dad left, you lost a father because of her bad choices. She should have owned that! And you wouldn’t have had to call Aaron that night if she didn’t dump you off instead of being a mother!”

She was yelling now, but she couldn’t help it. She hated that woman. She physically hated her, with the full force of her entire body and soul. “When Aaron died, you lost someone too! She should have made right what she wronged! She was the adult! You were just a kid, for Christ’s sake!”

Michael was staring off over her head; his throat bobbed as he swallowed, and Lauren felt her anger waver.

She hated her.

But she loved him.

And he didn’t need to be yelled at over this. He’d suffered enough because of what his mother had done.

She reached for his hand, clasping it gently. “And the fact that she shut you out?” she said, her voice much softer but still shaking. “That was yet another awful decision that she made. She was wrong. Not you. You were the victim of all this, not the cause. Can’t you see that?”

He was still staring off over her head, but Lauren saw a muscle flex in the side of his jaw.

He shook his head in response.

That’s when she noticed it. The glassy shine of tears in his eyes, threatening to fall.

She threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around his waist as she dropped her forehead against his chest. Instantly, his arms came around her as he pressed his face into the crown of her head. She could feel his breath in her hair, somewhat unsteady as he fought to regain control over his emotions, and she tightened her hold on him.

She wanted to consume him, just hug him so tightly that he disappeared somewhere within her body, where she could protect him.

Where she could keep him forever.

She squeezed him tighter, planting a kiss on his chest, and suddenly the trembling breath in her hair became something else. She felt it hitch again, but it was different this time.

Lauren could feel his heartbeat against her cheek, the way it started thumping irregularly, and she knew it was a different feeling he was struggling to contain now.

This was it. Her last chance. He had told her once, “If you really want something, you shouldn’t stop until you get it, no matter what you have to do.”

And there was nothing in her life she’d ever wanted more than him.

She raised her head so that her chin was resting on his chest, and he tilted his, looking down at her, his eyes still shining with unshed tears.

Then she went up on her toes and kissed him.

The last time they had kissed all those months ago, it had been frantic. Urgent.

This was soft. Tender. Almost reverent.

All at once, his hands were on her face, her fingertips were trailing over his back, and his taste was on her lips, just as she remembered it.

“Lauren,” he said between kisses, the word both a plea and a warning.

“Just kiss me, Michael,” she breathed. “Just kiss.”

And he brought his mouth back to hers.

Lauren removed her hands from under his shirt and slid them up around his neck, pulling him further down into the kiss. She felt his arms tighten around her waist, and suddenly she was off the floor.

With their faces at the same level, the kiss intensified, and for a second, they were as needy as they’d been that night on his floor before his friends interrupted them.

But then he pulled back, lowering her back to the floor as he slowly released his hold around her waist.

Lauren shook her head slightly, using her hands on his neck to keep his mouth on hers once she reached the floor again. He obliged, but his kiss was gentle. Too gentle.

It felt like he was ending it.

She wasn’t going to give in that easily. Not this time.

Lauren took a step back, bringing him with her, and when the backs of her knees hit his bed, she lay back onto it. He went with her, catching himself on his hands and immediately positioning himself on his side, leaving several inches in between their bodies. He was still kissing her, but what had started out as worshipful and progressed to frenzied now seemed almost cautious.

Lauren slid her hand over his waist and gripped his shirt, pulling him on top of her.

He made a small noise, but Lauren couldn’t tell if it was in pleasure or protest.

When she leaned up to kiss him, he pulled back slightly, his eyes darting back and forth between hers.

“I want to,” she whispered.

He swallowed, shaking his head imperceptibly. “I told you, I can’t.”

“I’m not a virgin,” she blurted out.

Michael’s expression changed as he pushed himself up, supporting his weight in his arms as he stared down at her with equal parts confusion and disapproval.

“I was with Dale Arcamone.”

Michael pulled his brow together and shook his head. “What? When?” He started to get off of her, but she grabbed the sides of his shirt, stopping him.

“It was after the junior barbecue. We hung out together all day, and then we went back to his house, and one thing kind of led to another.”

She saw his eyes darken. “Did you do this because of what I said?”

Lauren looked up at him and shook her head, pressing her hips up into his body, and she watched his eyes flutter closed as his jaw flexed.

She knew in her heart this would be her last chance. It was now or never.

“It doesn’t matter why I did it. I’m not a virgin anymore, and you’re leaving tomorrow.” She took a small breath. “I’ve never asked you for anything but this.”

He still hadn’t moved, and when she gently stroked the back of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss, he kissed her back, but it was with obvious restraint. She could feel the set of his jaw, that he was still upset over this turn of events.

She didn’t want him to be upset. She wanted him to be as lost as she was.

Lauren slid her hands back under his { display: block; text-indent: 0%; font-size: 0.88rem; margin-top: an"> shoulder shirt, digging her fingertips into his back as she kissed him more passionately. And when she lifted her hips again, pressing up into his body, he seemed to forget he was supposed to be upset.

The tension left his jaw as he lowered his body back onto hers, gripping her hip as he kissed her with something Lauren thought felt a lot like possessiveness.

As soon as she felt him give in, she was instantly overcome with both triumph and guilt.

It had only been a few minutes ago that she reminded him she’d never lied to him.

And now, she’d no longer be able to claim that.

Michael broke the kiss, reaching behind his head and pulling his shirt off in one swift movement. Lauren barely had time to admire him before his mouth was back on hers, and his hands were tugging at the sides of her shorts.

She brought her hands to the button, fumbling with it as she kissed him, and once she had them opened, he lifted off of her, pulling them quickly down her legs. She took the opportunity to pull her tank top over her head, flinging it somewhere on the other side of the room.

His eyes ran over her body once, and then they flashed to hers as he exhaled heavily, lowering his mouth back onto hers. Without hesitation, she reached between them and started working on the button of his jeans.

She was rushing. She knew she should be savoring it, but she couldn’t bring herself to slow down. She was so afraid he was going to change his mind, and she briefly wondered if he was rushing for the same reason.