Back to You

She watched him put another shirt in the box before he shook his head.

“You won’t come back at all?” she asked, a touch of panic seeping into her voice.

Michael turned toward her. “We’ll still see each other, Red. You can come visit me whenever you want. But…I can’t come back here.” He turned back toward the box and pulled a shirt from the top of the dresser. “I need to erase this place. Get away from the fucking disaster I’ve created here.”

Disaster? She would have laughed if he didn’t sound so upset. He couldn’t be serious, could he?

“Come on, Michael. No one cares about what happens in high school. So you got in a few fights. Getting suspended doesn’t really count as major life errors.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

His words were clipped, and Lauren looked up at him. His back was still to her, but he had tensed visibly.

She pulled her brow together. “Well then, what are you talking about?”

He stood like that for a minute, saying nothing. Then he dropped his head, shaking it slowly.

“What is it?” she asked softly. “Tell me.”

He turned and looked at her, laughing humorlessly. “Well, I guess I got nothing to lose now, right?”

A strange feeling settled in the pit of her stomach at his words. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

Michael leaned back against his dresser, his eyes on her. “You know my dad left when I was five. But do you want to know why?”

Lauren blinked at him. She had never broached this subject with him, and she had no idea why he would be bringing it up now.

“If you want to tell me.”

“Because he found out I was@”ck you to someone else’s kid. Turns out my mom cheated on him, and I was the souvenir.”

A heavy lump settled in Lauren’s stomach as she tried to keep her face composed. She had no idea what to say to that.

“He wanted nothing to do with my mother, and nothing to do with me,” Michael continued. “He packed his shit that night, and the next morning he was gone.”

“Michael,” she said softly, the word sounding somewhat strangled despite her best effort.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “He came back for my brother a few times. But seeing me and my mom made him so miserable that eventually he moved to California. So because of the bastard child he couldn’t stand looking at, Aaron ended up losing his real dad.”

Her shoulders dropped as she shook her head, opening her mouth to protest, but he cut her off.

“Oh, but that’s not all. Because you also know that Aaron died three years later.” He paused, almost like he was assessing her. “Do you know how?”

Yet another thing they’d never talked about. Why was he doing this now? His tone of voice was casual as he spoke to her, overly so, but his eyes were intense, almost wild.

It made her uneasy.

She wrapped her arms around herself, and when she spoke, it was barely above a whisper. “I heard it was a car accident.”

He nodded. “Yep. He got behind the wheel of a car completely shitfaced and flipped it. Wrapped it around a tree.” He turned back to his shirts before he looked over his shoulder with a wry smile. “So now you know why I almost beat that kid’s ass the first day of Health.”

She looked up at him.

“For talking shit about the stupidity of drunk drivers,” he clarified. He laughed, but it was empty. “I still can’t believe you never asked me to explain that. It was one of my favorite things about you in the begi

Lauren dropped her eyes and swallowed hard, trying to process what he’d just told her.

“Do you want to know why he did it?” he asked, tossing a folded shirt haphazardly into the box.

“Who?”

“My brother. You want to know why he was driving drunk?”

Lauren lifted her eyes, looking at him cautiously.

He turned back to face her. “Because I made him. My mom dumped me off at some stranger’s house to get rid of me for the night, and I called him bitching and moaning because I was scared. And so he got in that car, even though he shouldn’t have, because I begged him to come get me. And he did.” Michael shrugged again. “And we never made it home.”

Lauren was blinking quickly against the growing sting behind her eyes, and she wrapped her arms a little tighter around herself as she looked away from him. She had always known the pieces of the story, that his dad and brother were gone, but filling in the blanks, learning the specifics, felt like getting punched in the stomach.

“So that’s the story of Michael Delaney,” he said, resuming his folding. “The delinquent kid who tore his family apart and needs to get the hell out of here.”

She couldn’t speak. She could barely even process what he’d just told her. The circumstances of the losses he suffered were so awful, and he had to deal with the aftermath completely alone. My God, what would it feel like to have no family? Especially when you needed one the most? { display: block; text-indent: 5%; font-size: 0.88rem; margin-top: before n the

“Do you know who your real dad is?” she asked softly.

“No. My mom wouldn’t talk about it, so I just stopped asking.”

She bit her lip. “You could find him, you know.”

“I don’t want to find him.”

After a second, Michael looked over his shoulder. She must have looked surprised, because he tilted his head at her.

“Come on, Red. Can’t you just see it? An eighteen-year-old idiot showing up on some guy’s doorstep.” He smiled a huge fake smile as he spoke with overdone enthusiasm. “Hey, remember that married woman you screwed all those years ago? Well, here I am! How’s it goin’, Pop?”

His face turned serious as the insincere excitement drained away. “I just don’t have a dad. I’ve accepted that.” He turned back around and grabbed another shirt. “I don’t want to have to prove myself to anyone.”

Too much. It was just too much. Lauren felt like she was pi

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

“I don’t talk about this with anyone.”

“But it’s me.”

He looked over his shoulder. “Exactly. You didn’t see me as the asshole everyone else did. And after hearing all this, how can you not?”

“Because it’s not your fault.”

Michael rolled his eyes and turned back to his shirts. “Here we go,” he said under his breath as he resumed packing.

“It isn’t.”

“You know, maybe I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hear this exoneration bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” she said, her voice gaining strength. “Your mother was the one who was unfaithful. Your mother made the choice. You were i

He slammed a folded shirt into the box, causing Lauren to jump. “My brother?” he nearly growled, his back still to her.

“Michael, you were eight years old. You were scared. Your brother was always your protector. How could you have known? And it was your brother’s decision to—”

“Look,” he said, whirling on her. “I’ve lived with this all my life. I’ve come to terms with my role, so stop trying to blow smoke up my ass!”

He whipped back around, resuming his folding in rough, choppy movements, and suddenly whatever was pi

She was off the bed before she’d even made the decision to move, ripping the shirt out of his hands and slamming it down on the dresser.

He looked down at her, stu

“I’m not blowing smoke up your ass! Don’t you dare say that to me! When have I ever lied to you? I give it to you straight all the time, even when you don’t want to hear it!”

He stared at her for a second before he dropped his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

She placed her hand on his chest, and he lifted his eyes again. “You’re blaming yourself for other people’s decisions,” she said firmly. “It’s not your fault, and I’m saying it because it’s the truth.@ there"> shoulder”