Back to You

“Okay,” he said, standing and taking a reluctant step backward. “Okay…so…”

Lauren smiled. “So…good luck,” she said, motioning with her head toward the door.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a half-hearted smile. “Thank you. I’ll be home right after. Around seven-ish.”

“We’ll be there.”

He took another step backward, looking down at Erin one more time before he lifted his eyes to Lauren.

She smiled reassuringly. “Go,” she said again, nodding toward the door, and he nodded once and turned, walking back out of the door and toward his car.

Lauren watched him leave through the window before she turned to look back down at Erin, sound asleep on her lap.

“Hey Deb?” she called softly, and a second later Deb poked her head back out of the office. “Could you grab the spare car seat from the back room? I’m go

Lauren stood at the bathroom sink, letting the water run until it turned warm. Once it reached the right temperature, she grabbed a washcloth from a pile of folded towels in the corner and held it under the faucet, gently wringing it out before she turned off the water and walked back out to the living room.

Erin was sitting up muscle flex in the side of his jaw7 shoulder on the couch, her eyes half closed, and Lauren knelt in front of her, wiping her mouth with the warm cloth. She felt Erin lean into her touch.

“Better, sweetheart?” she asked, and Erin nodded.

The poor thing had nothing left to throw up. Lauren had to pull over once during the drive to Michael’s, but Erin had just retched out the door, producing nothing. Then again, once they’d gotten home, Lauren had rushed to bring her the trash can, only to have her heave over it to no avail. Lauren was giving her tiny sips of water, but she dared not risk anything more than that.

“I’m sleepy,” Erin mumbled, and Lauren wiped her cheeks and forehead with the rag.

“I know. How about we try to lie down?”

“‘Kay,” Erin sighed, falling over the side, and Lauren grabbed a pillow and placed it under her head just in time.

“The trash can is right here, okay?” she said, moving it close to the couch.

“Are you leaving?” Erin asked, a touch of panic in her voice.

“Of course not,” Lauren said, sitting on the couch beside her and placing her hand on Erin’s leg. “I’ll be right here with you until Daddy comes home.”

“‘Kay,” she said again, her eyes falling closed, and Lauren sat back on the couch, gently rubbing her hand over Erin’s calf.

“Do you have a crown?” Erin asked softly.

“A crown?” Lauren asked. “No, I don’t think I do. Do you?”

Erin shook her head.

“Well then I guess we’ll just have to get you one,” Lauren said.

The tiniest smile curved Erin’s lips and she nodded, her eyes still closed. “Are you a princess?” she nearly sighed.

Lauren smiled. “No, I’m not a princess.”

“Oh,” Erin said, her voice soft and far away. “Daddy thought you were.”

Lauren’s hand stopped on Erin’s leg for a moment as she looked down at her, but she could tell by her deep breathing that she was right on the border of sleep. She felt an ache in her chest at Erin’s words, and she swallowed before resuming her ministrations, rubbing Erin’s calf softly.

In a matter of minutes, Erin’s breathing was deep and regular, and Lauren knew she was finally asleep. Careful not to jostle her, she stood from the couch and walked down the tiny hall to the room that was Erin’s, grabbing the blanket that was strewn across the bottom of her bed. As she turned to leave, something that had been tangled inside fell to the floor with a muted thud, and she looked down to see a small red photo album at her feet.

She bent to pick it up, taking it with her as she walked back out to the living room and gently laid the blanket over Erin.

Lauren sat beside her, opening the album, and immediately she brought her hand to her mouth, masking a tiny laugh.

The first picture was of Michael in a little league uniform, wearing a baseball hat that looked much too big for his tiny head as he squinted up at the camera.

“Oh my God,” she said softly, shaking her head with a smile before she turned the page. The next one was of Michael sitting on an older woman’s lap, covered in something that looked like jam. She smiled softly, ru

Lauren smiled, turning the page, and instantly her smile dropped. Her hand came to her mouth again, but this time, she merely pressed her fingertips to her lips as her eyes began to sting.

It was the picture she had given him. The one of the two of them at his graduation.

She couldn’t believe he still had it, that he had saved it after all this time.

Lauren inhaled slowly, shaking her head. It just didn’t make sense. Why would he keep it? Especially after…

Blinking quickly against the tears she felt rising, she studied the picture. Michael wore a tiny smile on his lips, looking down at her with something like admiration in his eyes, despite the fact that he was the one who had just graduated. And there she was, looking at the camera, leaning her head on his chest and smiling widely.

Completely unaware that in a few short weeks, her world would be ripped out from underneath her.

She closed her eyes and the book simultaneously, dropping her head back onto the couch.

“Damn it,” she said to no one in particular, breathing deeply to regain her composure.

When she felt like she had a handle on herself, she stood and took the album back to Erin’s room, placing it at the foot of her bed. She stood in the doorway for a moment, staring back at the book before she turned and headed out to the kitchen.

Lauren glanced at the clock on the microwave. It was just after six. Michael would be finishing up his test any minute. She walked over to her purse and grabbed her cell phone and the scrap of paper with his number on it, sending him a quick text.

Hey, it’s Lauren. Everything’s fine. Erin’s sleeping. You might want to pick up some Pedialyte at the grocery store on your way home.

She tossed her phone back into her purse and walked back over to the couch, grabbing the remote and sitting down next to Erin. She turned the television on, lowering the volume, and quickly found a sitcom rerun.

And she sat there, staring at the screen, but she couldn’t make her eyes see anything but the image of her and Michael, forever immortalized and happy in that photo.

True to his word, Michael arrived home shortly before seven, carrying a bag from the grocery store.

Lauren glanced over at him as the door opened, and he smiled softly, taking off his jacket.

“Hey,” she said, standing from the couch and stretching.

“Hi,” he answered softly, tossing his jacket over a chair as he walked toward her. He placed the grocery bag on the table and glanced past her into the living room. “How is she?”

“She’s okay. She’s been sleeping for a while now.”

Michael nodded, ru

“It’s fine,” Lauren assured him with a shake of her head.

He nodded, walking past her into the living room. For a second he stood there, looking down at Erin, and then he exhaled a heavy breath, sitting down on the recliner beside the couch and dropping his head into his hands. “You can’t imagine what this does to me,” he mumbled.he corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. , le