Back to You

The first time he consciously opened his eyes, the first time he recognized that he was awake and what he was seeing was real and tangible, it was four days later.

There was a woman in his room, dressed in Daffy Duck scrubs. She smiled warmly at him, told him her name was Renee, and that she would take good care of him.

She gave him some water, rubbed his hair, and answered the questions he was too weak to ask; she told him that he was hurt, but he was going to get better. She explained that he had two broken ribs and a bruised lung. He had broken his arm, but the doctors fixed it by putting pins in it. She told him he was just like a robot now, and Michael was pretty sure he smiled at that. The brace around his neck was because he had severely pulled muscles in his neck and back. The bandage on his head was protecting his stitches. She told him he had a concussion, and she assured him that was just a fancy word for banging your head really hard and that a little rest would make it all better.

And then another nurse came in and put a needle into the IV in his arm, and he went back to sleep.

Over the next few days, he started waking up more often, and staying awake for longer. It seemed like the world inside that room was the only one he knew at first, and so he didn’t ask any further questions. The women were so kind to him, bringing him coloring books even though he couldn’t color very well with his left hand, helping him find his favorite cartoons to watch on TV, and some of them even brought him flowers and toys.

But as the days passed, and the pain meds decreased, his mind became more aware, until finally he asked for his brother.

It was the kind nurse who told him, the one who had spoken to him when he woke up that first time. She held his hand, she stroked his face, and when Michael cried, she cried too, holding him softly against her chest.

The first time he saw his mother was a week later, when he was finally cleared to go home. She had not come to see him once, at least not while he was conscious. As she stood there, signing the discharge papers, she looked old. Her face was drawn, her eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with dark circles, and her hair was a matted mess.

She didn’t speak to him the entire drive home, but Michael was used to her silence. He didn’t want to speak either. He was afraid if he opened his mouth, he would start screaming, and he didn’t think he’d be able to stop.

They pulled into the driveway of his house, and both of them sat there, staring out of the front window, until finally his mother turned toward him.

For a second, for one stupid second, Michael turned toward her, almost hopeful. But then she spoke the words that he himself had already known on some level all along.

“It’s your fault your father is gone,” she said, her voice shaking. “And now you took your brother too.”

With that she turned and exited the car, slamming the door forcefully behind her.

And Michael sat there in the car for hours, drowning in the silence and the awful truth that his mother had just bestowed on him.ing his attention back , le

.

November 2011

Lauren sat in the vestibule of Learn and Grow, a wastebasket at her feet and Erin’s head on her lap. She stroked her hair softly.

“Is he here yet?” Erin mumbled weakly.

Lauren turned slightly over her shoulder to look out the front window. “Not yet, sweetheart. Soon. Do you need the basket again?”

Erin shook her head imperceptibly against Lauren’s thigh, and Lauren continued to stroke her hair, looking up as Deb poked her head out of the office.

“How’s she doing?” she asked quietly.

Lauren lifted her hand, tilting it from side to side. “Her dad’s on his way.”

Deb nodded, giving Erin a sympathetic look before she turned back into her office.

Lauren looked down at Erin; her face was pale and her eyes were closed. She was breathing softly through her open mouth, and Lauren gently stroked her cheek with the backs of her fingers. She watched as Erin’s brow smoothed slightly at the gesture.

A few minutes later, some movement outside caught Lauren’s attention and she turned again to look over her shoulder; Michael was walking quickly toward the entrance, his phone to his ear and his brow pulled together. He stopped just outside the door, pacing for a minute. She heard his muffled, “Shit!” before he took the phone down and ended the call, ru

When he saw them waiting in the vestibule, the look in his eyes went from irritated to heartbroken.

Lauren held her finger up to her lips. “I think she’s sleeping,” she whispered.

He nodded, walking over to them and kneeling down in front of Lauren. She moved her hand away from Erin’s hair, and Michael immediately replaced it with his own. His eyes were gentle as he looked down at her, and then he glanced down at the cell phone in his other hand.

“Is everything okay?” Lauren whispered, and Michael looked up to see her gesture toward the phone with her head.

“Yeah,” he said, looking down as he hit a button on the phone and put it away. “I’m just trying to get a hold of my professor.” He looked back up at her. “I have a test tonight, and this guy’s notorious for being an asshole about makeups. Something about modern technology and cheating,” he said, shaking his head with a

“Is it a big test?”

“Half our grade,” he said softly, sweeping the hair away from Erin’s forehead.

Lauren bit her bottom lip before she said, “Well, if he won’t let you make it up, what then?”

Michael shrugged. “I take the course again next semester.” He looked up at Lauren. “Thank you for taking care of her.” He reached forward, about to scoop Erin out of Lauren’s arms, but Lauren laid a hand on his bicep.

He froze, looking up at her.

“Go. Take your mind was a million miles away.

Michael shook his head. “No. I can’t let you do that, that’s ridic—”

She cut him off. “No, what’s ridiculous is you having to repeat a class over one stupid test.” He looked at Lauren, and she said again, “I’ll stay with her.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t. I offered.”

He smiled slightly, but Lauren could see he was about to argue again. “She’s sleeping now,” she added. “There’s a good chance she might not even wake up again tonight.”

He bit his lip and looked down, his brow furrowed, and Lauren knew she had made headway.

“I wouldn’t want you to have to leave work because of us,” he said.

“My shift ends in less than an hour. Deb won’t care if I head out a bit early today. Really, Michael. It’s fine.”

He was quiet for a minute before he said, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Go. Take your test.”

He exhaled heavily before lifting his eyes back up to her face; the look in them caused a tightening in her chest, and she felt her breath stop. He stared at her that way for what seemed like forever before he spoke. “Thank you.”

Lauren swallowed. “You’re welcome,” she said, finally finding her voice.

For a moment, he just looked at her, and then he blinked quickly, snapping out of it as he started rummaging in his pocket. “Here,” he said, pulling what looked like a crumpled receipt out of it. “Take my cell phone number.” He reached over and grabbed a pen off the front desk and scribbled quickly on the scrap of paper before he pulled a key off his key ring, handing them both to her. “Call me if anything changes, if you need anything.”

“I will,” she said, taking them from him and closing her hand around them.