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“And the father knows nothing?” she asked, having heard the whole story.
“N-no, he does… That’s what torments me, that I haven’t made it all out yet!” Velchaninov went on heatedly. “He knows, he knows; I noticed it today and yesterday. But I have to find out how much of it he knows. That’s why I’m in a hurry now. He’ll come tonight. I’m perplexed, though, where he could have learned it—that is, learned everything. About Bagautov he knows everything, no question of it. But about me? You know how wives are able to reassure their husbands on such occasions! If an angel came down from heaven—the husband would believe not him, but her! Don’t shake your head, don’t condemn me, I condemn myself, and condemned myself for everything long, long ago!… You see, earlier, at his place, I was so sure he knew everything that I compromised myself before him. Believe me: I’m quite ashamed and pained that I met him so rudely yesterday. (I’ll tell you everything later in more detail!) He came to me yesterday out of an invincible, malicious desire to let me know that he knew his offense and that the offender was known to him! That’s the whole reason for this stupid appearance in a drunken state. But it’s so natural on his part! He precisely came to reproach me! Generally, I conducted things too hotly this morning and yesterday. Imprudently stupid! I gave myself away! Why did he accost me at such a troubled moment? I tell you, he even tormented Liza, tormented a child, and probably also in reproach, to vent his spite if only on a child! Yes, he’s spiteful—nonentity that he is, he’s spiteful, even very much so. It goes without saying that he’s nothing but a buffoon, though before, by God, he had the look of a decent man, as far as he could, but it’s so natural that he’s turned dissolute! Here, my friend, one must take a Christian view! And you know, my dear, my good one—I want to change completely toward him: I want to show him kindness. It will even be a ‘good deed’ on my part. Because, after all, I am guilty before him! Listen, you know, I’ll tell you another thing: once in T——————I suddenly needed four thousand roubles, and he gave it to me in a second, without any receipt, sincerely glad that he was able to please me, and I did take it then, I took it from his own hands, took money from him, do you hear, took it as from afriend!”
“Only be more prudent,” Klavdia Petrovna observed worriedly to all this. “And how rapturous you are, really, I’m afraid for you! Of course, Liza’s now my daughter, too, but there’s so much here, so much that’s still unresolved! And above all, be more circumspect now; you absolutely must be circumspect when you’re in happiness or in such rapture; you’re too magnanimous when you’re in happiness,” she added with a smile.
Everyone came out to see Velchaninov off; the children brought Liza, with whom they had been playing in the garden. They looked at her now, it seemed, with still greater perplexity than before. Liza turned completely shy when Velchaninov, taking his leave, kissed her in front of everyone and warmly repeated his promise to come the next day with her father. She was silent and did not look at him till the last minute, but then she suddenly seized him by the sleeve and pulled him somewhere aside, looking at him with imploring eyes; she wanted to tell him something. He took her to another room at once.
“What is it, Liza?” he asked tenderly and encouragingly, but she, still looking around timorously, pulled him farther into the corner; she wanted to hide completely from everyone.
“What is it, Liza, what is it?”
She was silent and undecided; she looked fixedly into his eyes with her blue eyes, and all the features of her little face expressed nothing but mad fear.
“He’ll… hang himself!” she whispered as if in delirium.
“Who will hang himself ?” Velchaninov asked in fright.
“He will, he will! During the night he wanted to hang himself from a noose!” the girl said, hurrying and breathless. “I saw it myself! Last night he wanted to hang himself from a noose, he told me, he did! He wanted to before, too, he’s always wanted to… I saw it in the night…”
“It can’t be!” whispered Velchaninov in perplexity. She suddenly rushed to kiss his hands; she wept, barely catching her breath from sobbing, she begged and pleaded with him, but he could understand nothing of her hysterical prattle. And forever after there remained in his memory, there came to him awake and in his dreams, those tormented eyes of a tormented child, who looked at him in mad fear and with her last hope.
“And can it be, can it be that she loves him so much?” he thought jealously and enviously, going back to town in feverish impatience. “She herself said today that she loved her mother more… maybe she hates him and doesn’t love him at all…
“And what is this: hang himself? What was she saying? A fool like him hang himself?… I must find out; I absolutely must find out! I must resolve everything as soon as possible—resolve it definitively!”
VII
HUSBAND AND LOVER KISS
He was in a terrible hurry to “find out.” “I was stu
He feverishly got down to business; but this time he felt he was very distracted and ought not to be occupying himself with business matters. At five o’clock, on his way to have di
“I need him, this man!” he finally decided. “I’ve got to figure him out first and then decide. This is—a duel!”
Returning home at seven o’clock, he did not find Pavel Pavlovich there, which first caused him great surprise, then wrath, and then even despondency; finally, he began to be afraid. “God knows, God knows what it will end with!” he repeated, now pacing the room, now stretching out on the sofa, and constantly looking at his watch. Finally, at around nine o’clock, Pavel Pavlovich did appear. “If the man was being cu
To the pert and merry question: why had he taken so long in coming?—Pavel Pavlovich smiled crookedly, sat down casually, not like the day before, and somehow carelessly flung his hat with crape onto another chair. Velchaninov noticed the casualness at once and took it into consideration.
Calmly and without u