Страница 30 из 78
“It’s a wonderful family, Liza. They’re now living in a wonderful country house; there are many children, they’ll love you there, they’re kind… Don’t be angry with me, Liza, I wish you well…”
He would have seemed strange at this moment to anyone who knew him, if they could have seen him.
“You’re so… you’re so… you’re so… ohh, how wicked you are!” Liza said, choking with stifled tears, her angry, beautiful eyes flashing at him.
“Liza, I…”
“You’re wicked, wicked, wicked, wicked!” She was wringing her hands. Velchaninov was completely at a loss.
“Liza, dear, if you knew what despair you drive me to!”
“Is it true that he’ll come tomorrow? Is it true?” she asked imperiously.
“It’s true, it’s true! I’ll bring him myself; I’ll get him and bring him.”
“He’ll deceive me,” Liza whispered, lowering her eyes.
“Doesn’t he love you, Liza?”
“No, he doesn’t.”
“Has he hurt you? Has he?”
Liza looked at him darkly and was silent. She turned away from him again and sat stubbornly looking down. He started persuading her, spoke heatedly to her, was in a fever himself. Liza listened mistrustfully, hostilely, but she did listen. Her attention gladdened him extremely: he even began to explain to her what a drinking man was. He said that he himself loved her and would look after her father. Liza finally raised her eyes and gazed at him intently. He started telling her how he had once known her mama, and saw that she was getting caught up in his stories. Little by little she began gradually to answer his questions—but cautiously and monosyllabically, with stubbor
“She’s ill,” he thought, “maybe very; she’s been tormented… Oh, mean, drunken creature! I understand him now!” He kept urging the coachman on; he had hopes in the country house, the air, the garden, the children, the new, the unfamiliar to her life, and then, later… But of what would come afterward he no longer had any doubts; there were full, clear hopes. Only one thing he knew absolutely: that he had never before experienced what he experienced then, and that it would stay with him for the rest of his life! “Here is the goal, here is life!” he thought rapturously.
Many thoughts flashed in him now, but he did not dwell on them and stubbornly avoided details: without the details, everything was becoming clear, everything was inviolable. His main plan formed of itself: “We can influence the scoundrel with our combined forces,” he dreamed, “and he will leave Liza in Petersburg with the Pogoreltsevs, though at first only temporarily, for a certain period of time, and go away by himself; and Liza will be left for me; and that’s all, what more is there to it? And… and, of course, he wishes it himself; otherwise why would he torment her.” They finally arrived. The Pogoreltsevs’ country house was indeed a lovely little place; they were met first of all by a noisy band of children who poured onto the porch of the house. Velchaninov had not visited in far too long, and the children were wild with joy: he was loved. The older ones shouted to him at once, even before he got out of the carriage:
“And how’s your lawsuit, how’s your lawsuit?” This was picked up by the smallest ones, who laughed and squealed following the older ones. He was teased there about his lawsuit. But, seeing Liza, they at once surrounded her and began studying her with silent and intent childish curiosity. Klavdia Petrovna came out, and her husband after her. She and her husband also both started from the first word, and laughing, with a question about the lawsuit.
Klavdia Petrovna was a lady of about thirty-seven, a plump and still beautiful brunette, with a fresh and rosy face. Her husband was about fifty-five, an intelligent and clever man, but a kindly fellow before all. Their house was in the fullest sense “his own home” for Velchaninov, as he himself put it. But a special circumstance also lay hidden here: some twenty years ago this Klavdia Petrovna had almost married Velchaninov, then still almost a boy, still a student. This had been a first love, fervent, ridiculous, and beautiful. It ended, however, with her marrying Pogoreltsev. They met again five years later, and it all ended in serene and quiet friendship. There forever remained a certain warmth, a certain special light shining in this relationship. Here everything in Velchaninov’s memories was pure and irreproachable, and all the dearer to him in that it was perhaps so only here. In this family, he was simple, naive, kind, helped with the children, was never affected, admitted everything and confessed everything. More than once he had sworn to the Pogoreltsevs that he would live a little longer in the world and then move in with them completely and start living with them, never to part again. He thought of this intention to himself not at all as a joke.
He gave them quite a detailed account of all that was necessary about Liza; but his request alone, without any special accounts, would have been enough. Klavdia Petrovna kissed the “little orphan” and promised to do everything for her part. The children took Liza up and led her out to play in the garden. After half an hour of lively talk, Velchaninov got up and started saying good-bye. He was so impatient that they all could notice it. They were all surprised: he had not visited in three weeks and was now leaving after half an hour. He laughed and swore to come the next day. It was brought to his notice that he was much too excited; he suddenly took Klavdia Petrovna by the hands and, under the pretext of having forgotten something very important, led her to another room.
“Remember what I told you—you alone, what even your husband doesn’t know—about the T———year of mylife?”
“I remember only too well; you spoke of it often.”
“I wasn’t speaking, I was confessing, and to you alone, you alone! I never told you the woman’s last name; she’s Trusotsky, the wife of this Trusotsky. It’s she who died, and Liza, her daughter—is my daughter!”
“Is it certain? You’re not mistaken?” Klavdia Petrovna asked in some agitation.
“Absolutely not, absolutely not!” Velchaninov uttered rapturously.
And, as briefly as possible, hurrying and terribly agitated, he told her—all. Klavdia Petrovna had known it all before, but she had not known the lady’s last name. Velchaninov had become so frightened each time at the mere thought that someone he knew might one day meet Mme. Trusotsky and think of him having loved this woman so much, that he had not dared up to then to reveal “that woman’s” name even to Klavdia Petrovna, his only friend.