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Ed says, “So why are they helping you?”
“I don’t know,” Susan says. “Either they think we’re fu
She stands up, stretches, yawns, sits back down on Ed’s lap, reaches down, stuffs his penis, half-erect, inside of her. Just like that. Ed groans.
He says, “Susan.”
Susan says, “Tell me a story.” She squirms. “Any story. I don’t care what.”
“I can’t tell you a story,” Ed says. “I don’t know any stories when you’re doing this.”
“I’ll stop,” Susan says. She stops.
Ed says, “Don’t stop. Okay.” He puts his hands around her waist and moves her, as if he’s stirring the Susan beer.
He says, “Once upon a time.” He’s speaking very fast. They’re ru
Once, while they were making love, Andrew came into the bedroom. He didn’t even knock. He didn’t seem to be embarrassed at all. Ed doesn’t want to be fucking Susan when the aliens show up. On the other hand, Ed wants to be fucking Susan forever. He doesn’t want to stop, not for Andrew, or the aliens, or even for the end of the world.
Ed says, “There was a man and a woman and they fell in love. They were both nice people. They made a good couple. Everyone liked them. This story is about the woman.”
This story is about a woman who is in love with somebody who invents a time machine. He’s pla
The cheerleader says to the Devil, “We’re out of time. We’re holding things up. Don’t you hear them banging on the door?”
The Devil says, “You didn’t finish the story.”
The cheerleader says, “And you never let me touch your tail. Besides, there isn’t any ending. I could make up something, but it wouldn’t ever satisfy you. You said that yourself! You’re never satisfied. And I have to get on with my life. My parents are going to be home soon.”
She stands up and slips out of the closet and slams the door shut again, so fast the Devil can hardly believe it. A key turns in a lock.
The Devil tries the doorknob, and someone standing outside the closet giggles.
“Shush,” says the cheerleader. “Be quiet.”
“What’s going on?” the Devil says. “Open the door and let me out-this isn’t fu
“Okay, I’ll let you out,” the cheerleader says. “Eventually. Not just yet. You have to give me something first.”
“You want me to give you something?” the Devil says. “Okay, what?” He rattles the knob, testing.
“I want a happy begi
Starlight says, “Sorry about that. My voice is getting scratchy. It’s late. You should call back tomorrow night.”
Ed says, “When can I call you?”
Stan and Andrew were friends. Good friends. It was like they were the same species. Ed hadn’t seen Stan for a while, not for a long while, but Stan stopped him, on the way down to the basement. This was earlier. Stan grabbed his arm and said, “I miss him. I keep thinking, if I’d gotten there sooner. If I’d said something. He liked you a lot, you know, he was sorry about what happened to your car-”
Stan stops talking and just stands there looking at Ed. He looks like he’s about to cry.
“It’s not your fault,” Ed said, but then he wondered why he’d said it. Whose fault was it?
Susan says, “You’ve got to stop calling me, Ed. Okay? It’s three in the morning. I was asleep, Ed, I was having the best dream. You’re always waking me up in the middle of things. Please just stop, okay?”
Ed doesn’t say anything. He could stay there all night and just listen to Susan talk.
What she’s saying now is, “But that’s never going to happen, and you know it. Something bad happened, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but we’re just never going to get past it. It killed us. We can’t even talk about it.”
Ed says, “I love you.”
Susan says, “I love you, but it’s not about love, Ed, it’s about timing. It’s too late, and it’s always going to be too late. Maybe if we could go back and do everything differently-and I think about that all the time-but we can’t. We don’t know anybody with a time machine. How about this, Ed-maybe you and your poker buddies can build one down in Pete’s basement. All those stupid games, Ed! Why can’t you build a time machine instead? Call me back when you’ve figured out how we can work this out, because I’m really stuck. Or don’t call me back. Good-bye, Ed. Go get some sleep. I’m hanging up the phone now.”