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Daemon made a sound in the back of his throat and pulled me into his arms, blankets and all. The tears came, they kept coming, and he rocked me, holding me close. And it didnt seem right or fair that hed comfort me. He didnt know how easy it had been for me to throw that switch, to become someone else. I wasnt the same girl. Not the Katy who had changed him and inspired him to be different.
I wasnt her .
I struggled to pull free, but he held on and I hated that-hated that he didnt see what I saw. Im a monster. Im like Blake.
What? Disbelief thickened his tone. You are nothing like him, Kat. How can you say that?
Tears streaked down my cheeks. But I am. Blake-he killed because he was desperate. How is what I did any different? Its not!
He shook his head. Its not the same.
I dragged in air by the lungful. Id do it again. I swear I would. If anyone threatened my mom or you, I would. And I knew that after everything that had happened with Blake and Adam. Thats not how people react-its not right.
Theres nothing wrong with protecting those you love, he argued. Do you think Ive enjoyed killing those I have? I havent. But I wouldnt go back and change those things.
I wiped at my cheeks as my shoulders shook. Daemon, its different.
How is it? He grasped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him through tear-soaked lashes. Remember when I took out those two DOD officers at the warehouse? I hated that I did it, but I had no other choice. If they reported back that theyd seen us, it would all be over and I wasnt going to let them take you.
His fingers chased after the tears and he dipped his head, catching my gaze when I tried to look away. And I hated what I have done-I hated every time Ive taken a life, Arum or human, but sometimes, there is no other choice. You dont accept it. You dont become okay with it, but you do come to understand it.
I grasped his wrists. They were so thick that my fingers barely met. But what
what if I was okay with it?
Youre not okay with it, Kat. His belief in that statement, in me, rang true in his voice, and I couldnt understand that blind faith. I know youre not.
How can you be so sure? I whispered.
Daemon smiled a little. Not a full breathtaking kind of smile, but it still reached down into me, wrapping around my heart. I know youre good inside. Youre warmth and light and everything I dont deserve, but you-you believe that I deserve you. Knowing all that I have done in my past to other people and to you, you still believe I deserve you.
I-
And thats because youre good inside-youve always been and will be. His hands slipped down my throat, to curve around my shoulders. There is nothing you can say or do that will change that. So grieve what you had to do. Mourn it, but never, ever blame yourself for things that are beyond your control.
I didnt know what to say.
His smile slipped into that smug half grin that infuriated and thrilled me. Now get the rest of that crap out of your head, because youre so much better than that; youre more than that.
His words, well, they may not have washed away everything and they may not have changed the part in me that wasnt as perfect as he thought, but they wrapped around me like a soft down comforter. They were enough for that moment to
to understand what I had done and that was important, that was enough. There werent any words for how much I appreciated what he said and what he had done. A thank-you wasnt enough.
Still shaking, my hands balled up into those tiny knots, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. His fingers tightened around my shoulders as his chest rose sharply. I tasted my own salty tears on his lips and as the kiss deepened, I tasted my own fear.
But there was more.
There was our love-there was our hope that wed walk out of this with a future. There was our acceptance of each other-the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. There was so much pent-up longing. So much emotion that it packed a sucker punch straight to my soul and his, I knew it, because I could feel his heart rate picking up. Mine matched his-made for his. All of that was in a simple kiss and it was too much, not enough, and just perfect.
I pulled back, drawing in a sharp breath. Our eyes locked. A wealth of emotion shone in his brilliant green eyes. He cupped my cheek with one hand tenderly, and he spoke in his lovely language. It sounded like three lyrical words-a short, beautiful verse.
What did you say? I asked, my fingers loosening around the cover.
His smile was secretive and then his lips were on mine again and my eyes drifted shut. I let go of the blanket, felt it slip away, pool around my hips, and I felt Daemon stop breathing for a moment.
He guided me back, and I wrapped my arms around him. We kissed for what felt like an eternity and that wasnt long enough. I could keep going, never stop, because in that moment, we created a world where nothing else existed. We lost ourselves in each other for a while and time, it sped and crept by in the same instance. We kissed until I was breathless, pausing only to explore each other. We were warm and flushed, twisting against each other. My body arched against his and when I moaned, he stilled.
He lifted his head but said nothing. Stared for so long and so hard that every point in my body seemed stretched too far. My chest squeezed. I reached up, placing my trembling hand on his cheek.
His head dipped against my cheek, and his voice was rough and raw. Tell me to stop and I will.
I wasnt going to. Not now. Not after everything. There was nothing to deny anymore, and my answer was to kiss him, and without words, he understood.
He settled over me, not touching, not quite. The electricity between us snapped and pulled. A wild feeling pulsed through me. I lifted my hands, sinking them into his hair, pulling him closer. I swept my lips over his, and his body trembled. His fiery eyes drifted shut as my thumb moved on his bottom lip. My hands were on the move, slipping over the thick cords in his neck and back, around his chest and down. Lower, over the hard planes of his stomach. He sucked in a sharp breath.
The edges of his body started to glow, casting the room in a soft light. Heat rolled off his body. Daemons eyes snapped open and he sat up, pulling me into his lap. His eyes were no longer green, just orbs of pure light. My heart tripped over itself. A fire started in my stomach, spreading through me like a wave of lava.
His hands trembled on my hips and the sudden onslaught of fresh, unbridled power washed over me. It was like touching fire or being hit by a thousand volts of electricity. It was exhilarating.
Id never been more excited, more ready.
When his lips met mine, a thousand emotions erupted in me. His taste was delicious and addictive. I pressed against him, our kisses deepening until I was swimming in heady sensations that beat against every pore in my body. Everywhere we touched my skin came alive. His lips trailed a fiery path from mine to the column of my throat. All around us, his light flickered, like a thousand stars lining the walls, fading in and out.
Our hands were everywhere. His fingers were on my stomach, moving up, between my ribs. There seemed to be something slower about this. Each touch was measured and precise. Breathing became difficult as our explorations grew. This was definitely not his first time at any of this, but he didnt rush and he shook as much as I did.
His jeans ended up somewhere on his floor and our bodies were flush. Hands delving lower and lower. Daemon took his time even when I was pushing him to go faster. He slowed it down, made it last for what felt like forever
until neither of us could wait any longer. I remembered what Dee had said about her first time. There was no awkwardness here. Most things were expected. Daemon had protection and there was discomfort