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Wait. The second one was Dawson. He was holding Daemon, keeping him in an upright position. Daemon never needed help. He was the strongest-is the strongest. Panic blossomed.
Let Dee do this, Andrew urged.
Daemon shook his head and after what seemed like forever, Dee pulled back and took on her human form. She scrambled out of the way, arms shaking.
Hes crazy, she said. Hes absolutely crazy.
When Daemon slipped into his true form and placed his hands on me, there was only him then. The rest of the room slipped away. I didnt want him to heal me if he was already weak, but I got why he didnt want Dee to do it. Too risky, not knowing how or if it would link the three of us together.
Heat flowed through me and then I wasnt really thinking. Daemons voice was in my thoughts, murmuring reassurances over and over again. I felt light, airy, and complete.
Daemon
I said his name over and over again. I dont know why, but it was grounding to just hear his name.
And when I closed my eyes, they didnt reopen. The renewing warmth was in every cell, easing through my veins, settling into my muscles and bones. Heat and safety pulled me under and the last thing I heard was Daemons voice.
You can let go now.
I did.
When I opened my eyes again, a candle somewhere in the room flickered and danced in the shadows. I couldnt move my arms and I didnt know where I was for a second, but as I dragged in a deep breath, an earthy scent surrounded me.
Daemon? My voice was hoarse, dry from panic.
The bed-I was in a bed-dipped and out of the darkness came Daemon. Half of his face was bathed in shadows. His eyes glowed like diamonds.
Im here, he said. Right beside you.
I swallowed, keeping my gaze fixed on him. I cant move my arms.
There was a deep, throaty chuckle and I thought it was terrible that he would laugh when my arms couldnt move. Here, let me fix that for you.
Daemons hands felt around me, finding the edges of the blankets. He loosened them. There you go.
Oh. I wiggled my fingers and then slipped my arms out. A second later, I realized I was nude-completely nude under the blankets. Fire swept over my face and down my neck. Did we
? What the heck was I not remembering?
I clasped the edge of the blanket, wincing as skin pulled over my chest. Why am I naked?
Daemon stared back at me. One second passed and then two, three. You dont remember?
It took a moment or so for my brain to process everything and when it did, I sat up and started to jerk the blanket away. Daemon stopped me with his hand. Youre fine. Theres just a tiny mark-a scar, but its really faint, he said, his large hand surrounding mine. Honestly, I doubt anyone would notice it unless they were looking really close, and Id be perturbed if anyone was looking that close.
My mouth worked without sound. Around us, the candle threw shadows along the wall. It was Daemons bedroom, because my bed wasnt nearly as comfortable or as big as his.
Will had come back. He had shot me-shot me right in the chest and I
I couldnt finish that thought.
Dee helped get you cleaned up. So did Ash. His eyes searched my face. They put you in the bed. I didnt
help them.
Ash saw me naked? Stupidly, out of everything, that made me want to crawl back under the covers. Man, I needed to get my priorities straight.
Are you sure youre okay? He reached to touch me but stopped, his hand lingering an inch or so from my cheek.
I nodded. Id been shot-shot in the chest. That thought was on repeat. Id come close to death once before, when wed fought Baruck, but to be shot was a whole different ballpark. It was going to take me a few moments to fully comprehend that, especially since it didnt seem real.
I shouldnt be sitting up and talking to you, I said dumbly, peering through my lashes. This is
I know. Its a lot. He touched me then, placing the tips of his fingers on my lips reverently. He let out a shaky breath. Its really a lot.
I closed my eyes for a moment, soaking in the low hum and warmth his touch brought. How did you know?
I felt short of breath all of a sudden, he said, dropping his hand and inching closer. And there was this red-hot feeling in my chest. My muscles wouldnt work right. I knew something had happened. Luckily, Andrew and Dawson were able to get me outside without causing a scene. Sorry, no chicken fried steak.
I didnt think Id ever eat again.
A smile appeared on his lips. Id never been so scared in my life. I had Dawson call Dee to check on you. I
was too weak to get here myself.
I recalled how pale hed looked and that Dawson had been supporting him. How do you feel now?
Perfect. He tilted his head to the side. You?
I feel fine. Only a dull soreness lingered, but it was nothing. You saved my life-our lives.
It was nothing.
I gaped. Only Daemon would think something like this was nothing. And then another new concern rose. Twisting on the bed, I searched out the bedside clock in the dark. Digital green lights showed that it was only a little past one in the morning. Id slept for about six hours.
I have to go home, I said, gathering the blanket around me. There has to be blood and when my mom comes home in the morning, I dont-
Its all been taken care of. He stilled me. They took care of Will and the house is fine. When your mom comes home, she wont know anything happened.
Relief was potent and I relaxed, but it didnt last long. An image surfaced of standing in the kitchen, smiling at Will and goading him, sending a shudder through me. Silence fell between us as I stared into the darkened room, replaying the evening over and over. I kept getting caught on how calm I had become, how cold Id felt when that part of me decided I was going to have to
have to kill Will.
And I had.
A bitter taste filled the back of my throat. I had killed people and that was even counting the Arum. A life was a life, Daemon had said. So how many had I killed? Three? So Id killed four living creatures.
My breath rose and got stuck around the quickly rising lump in my throat. What was worse than the knowledge that I had taken lives was my acceptance of doing so. Id had no qualms about what I did when it happened and that wasnt me-that couldnt be me.
Kat, he said softly. Kitten, what are you thinking?
I killed him. Tears welled up and spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them. I killed him, and I didnt care at all.
He placed his hands on my bare shoulders. You did what you had to do, Kat.
No. You dont understand. My throat tightened and I struggled for breath. I didnt care . And I should care about these kinds of things. I laughed hoarsely. Oh, God
Pain flickered in his bright gaze. Kat-
Whats wrong with me? Something is wrong with me. I couldve just disarmed him and stopped him. I didnt have to-
Kat, he tried to kill you. He shot you. You acted out of self-defense.
It all sounded reasonable to him. But had I? The man was weak and frail. Instead of goading him, I couldve disarmed him and that was it. But I killed him
My control slipped and broke. I felt twisted inside, balling up into so many knots I thought Id never be straightened out again. This whole time I had been so convinced that I could do what was necessary, that I could easily kill and when it came down to it, I had killed, but Daemon had been right. Killing wasnt the hard part. It was what came afterward-the guilt. It was too much. All the ghosts of those whod died by my own hand and those who had passed on who were tied to me appeared, surrounding me and choking me until the only sound I could make was a hoarse cry.