Over My Dead Body

"Ah, Meesturrr Gudwi

"Oh, yeah." I passed Wolfe the sign to listen in on his phone. "I saw you up there this afternoon."

"Yes. Zat ees why I phone. What happen zis afternoon, eet ees terrible!"

"Right. Awful."

"Yes. Zee police, zey kestion me long time. I tell zem everyzing but one sing. I deed not tell zem how I see Mees Tormic put somesing in your pocket."

"No?"

"But no. I sink eet ees not my beesiness, and I do not want any tr-rrrouble. But I am worried. Now I sink eet ees a mur-rrrder, and I owe a duty. I must now tell zee police or I ca

"Sure, I see. Duty bound."

"Yes. But also I sink eet ees only fair I tell you before I tell zee police. Now I tell you. Now I tell zee police."

"Wait a minute, please. Let me get this straight. You're going to phone the police now?"

"Yes."

"And exactly what are you going to tell them?"

"Zat I see Mees Tormic put somesing in your pocket in zee coat hanging on zee rack and trying not to have anybody see. Zen pretty soon you take zee coat and go."

"Now, listen." I tried to laugh. "You sure are seeing things. Where are you now?"

"Zey let me go home. I am at my apartment, 78th Street. 542 East."

"Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll get hold of Miss Tormic and we'll drop in to see you. If you think we're murderers, which we're not-"

"Oh, I'm not afraid. But I am worried."

"Don't you worry for a minute. We'll be there in less than an hour. You're sure you'll be there?"

"Certainly I will."

"The police can wait that long."

"But not longer, Meesturr Gudwi

"Okay. Absolutely."

I shoved back the phone and stood up.

"There," I said, with no feeling because my feelings were too deep. "There you are. What else could I say?"

"Nothing," Wolfe muttered. "Now be quiet."

He shut his eyes and his lips began to push in and out. That went on for ten minutes. I sat and tried to figure out something milder than kidnapping, but my brain wouldn't work because I was too damn disgruntled. Finally he said quietly:

"Get Mr Cramer."

That took a little doing, because the saps Cramer had left up at Miltan's studio had to go into a huddle before they would even admit he wasn't there. Next I tried his office at headquarters, and got him; apparently the base of operations had been moved down there. Wolfe took it:

"Mr Cramer? I have a little something on that Ludlow case. No, it's somewhat complicated. I think the best idea would be for you to have a man collect Madame Zorka and Miss Tormic and bring them to my office as soon as possible. No, I want to co-operate, but I hardly think any other procedure would be feasible. No, I haven't solved the case, but this is a development that I am sure will interest you. You know whether I may be depended on for that sort of thing. You'll come yourself? Fine."

He hung up and rubbed his nose with his forefinger. I blurted, "And whoever goes to get Zorka, she'll spill the entire bag of beans before they get here-"

"Let me alone, Archie. Take that confounded thing out of that idiotic cake and put it back in your pocket the way it was."

I gave up. And obeyed blindly. Talk about discipline.

Chapter Seven

Neva Tormic was the first to arrive for the party. It was close to midnight when I went to answer the bell, saving Fritz the trouble of putting his slippers in commission and glad of a chance to stretch my legs even that much.

"Hallo," I said in polite surprise, for three of them crossed the threshold, and I knew all of them. First Neya Tormic, then Carla Lovchen, and bringing up the rear, Sergeant Purley Stebbins. Purley and I had often been enemies, and even friends once or twice. While I helped with wraps he said:

"This other one coupled on and I would have had to use force to separate her. So I thought if she's not wanted we can do the separating here."

"Sure," I agreed, "let Cramer do it. He ought to be here any minute. You go on to the kitchen-you know the way-and Fritz'll give you a pork tenderloin sandwich with onion grass."

He looked wistful. "I guess I won't let her out of my sight-"

"Pooh! Pooh! My dear fellow, this is a conference, and Mr Wolfe and I are conferees. Breaded pork tenderloin and steaming black coffee?"

So he headed for the kitchen and I herded the Balkans into the office.

I was afraid Wolfe might be skittish, confronted with two Montenegrin females at once, but he stood up and greeted them like a man. I had chairs already arranged. It was the first time I had seen Neya in anything but her fencing costume with robe. She was natty in a dark-brown suit and brown oxfords, with no foreign touch as far as I could see, but my interest in women's clothes is not technical. Her eyes were as black as two prunes in a dish of cream, but there was a little flush on her cheeks, which may have been from the cold outdoors.

She said, with the eyes aimed at him, "You are Nero Wolfe."

Wolfe nodded just perceptibly. He was leaning forward with his elbows resting on the desk and his fingers linked together. Having seen him scrutinize a lot of people, I was aware that he was putting on a special and rare performance.

She said, "You sent a policeman to bring me here. I don't understand that."

"Inspector Cramer sent him."

"But you must have permitted it." There was a swift movement of her head; a characteristic arrested toss that I had observed that afternoon. "Or suggested it."

"Yes, Miss Tormic. I arranged it. A certain fact was exposed which required immediate action in order to save Mr Goodwin from arrest. He is my confidential assistant, and I wouldn't welcome the ignominy of bailing him out of jail. Or perhaps instead of a fact, it's a lie. We'll find out. I thought it better to do so in the presence of Inspector Cramer, and besides, I want to see how you behave under pressure."

"I can stand pressure."

"Good. We'll see."

She smiled at him. When her mouth was composed the don't-touch-me was in command, but when she smiled it was all come-hither. "Have you told him that I am your adopted daughter?"

Wolfe frowned and turned to me. "Is the man who brought them in the kitchen?"

"Yes, sir. It's Stebbins. You know Sergeant Stebbins."

He nodded. "Nevertheless, Miss Tormic, I think we'll discuss that later. I haven't told the police that you are my daughter. For the present, it is desirable that I should not be suspected of so intimate a prejudice. Do you agree to that?"

"I should think. " She hesitated. The smile had gone. "Of course, I'll do whatever you say; but. " She smiled again. "I'd like to have that paper back, the record of adoption which you signed. I want to hang on to that. I admit it's pure selfishness, because I know what it might mean to be the daughter of Nero Wolfe. I proved that by sending for you when I got into trouble. Of course, since I've never seen you since I was three years old, I can't be expected to show violent affection and throw my arms around you and kiss you-"

"No, indeed," Wolfe agreed hastily. "There's no question of. it's a matter of responsibility, and that's all. My responsibility. I was sane, in the legal sense, when I assumed it. As for the records of adoption, I would prefer, if you don't mind-but that's probably Mr Cramer. Unless it's Madame Zorka."

"Zorka!" exclaimed Carla Lovchen in surprise.

But it was Cramer, ushered in by Fritz. He glanced sharply around, offered a curt collective greeting, and, finding his usual chair occupied by Neya Tormic, took one at the left of Carla Lovchen.

"Where's the Zorka woman?" he demanded.