Distraction

“I see.”

“You can’t say that Huey ain’t generous. You outed me on ev-erything you possibly could. Chased me up and down in the press. Sicced a Senator on me. Turned the President against me. You’re a busy guy. But you know something? You don’t have any SPIRIT, boy! You don’t have any SOUL! You don’t BELIEVE! There’s not one fresh idea in your pointy head. You’re like a dang otter raidin’ a beaver’s nest, you’re like this streamlined thing that kills and eats the beaver’s children. Well, I got big news for you, Soapy. You’re a genu-ine beaver now.”

“Governor, this is truly fascinating. You say you’ve studied me; well, I’ve studied you. I learned a lot. You’re a man of tremendous energy and talent. What I don’t understand is why you carry out your aims in such absurd, tacky, uncivilized ways.”

“Son, that one’s dead easy. It’s because I’m a dirt-poor, dirt-ignorant hick from a drowning swamp! Nothin’ came easy for us twenty-first-century hicks. Nothing is elegant here. They took all our oil, they cut our timber, they gillnetted our fish, they poisoned the earth, they turned the Mississippi into a giant sewer that killed the Gulf for five hundred miles around. Then hurricanes started comin’ and the seas rose up to get us! What the hell did you expect from us, when you were up in Boston polishing the silver? We Cajuns need a future just like anybody else. We been here four hundred years! And we didn’t forget to have children, like the Cabots and the Lodges did. If you had a workin’ brain in your head, you’d have blown off that sorry architect and come down here to work for me.”

“I didn’t like your methods.”

“Hell, you used enough of ’em. You used damn near every one. Hell, I ain’t particular about any methods. You got a better method for me, spit it out! Let’s talk it over.”

“Hey, Huey,” Kevin said. “What about me? I have methods too.”

“You’re last year’s news, Mr. Whitey. You’re the hired help now, you’re lucky to have a damn job. Lemme talk to the Genetic Wonder here. We’re talking cognition now. This is for grown-ups.”

“Hey, Huey!” Kevin insisted. “My methods still work. I outed you on the Haitians. I figured that one out, I flew people over your border.”

Huey’s brow wrinkled in distaste. “My point is,” Huey said to Oscar, “we’re in the same boat now. If I’d just kept hold of that Collaboratory, I could have spread a new cognition on a massive scale. In fact, I’m still go

“First I’d have to get my temper back, Etie

“Oh, pshaw! Real players don’t get angry. Why get all ticked off at me? I actually accept you. I love your goddamn background problem. See, I finally got you all fIgured out. If America settles down and gets all normal, then you’re on the outside for good. You’re always go

“Hey, Huey! Yo! Were you always this crazy, or did the dope do it?”

Huey ignored Kevin’s interruption, though his scowl grew deeper. “I know you can attack me for this. Sure, go ahead and do it. Tell everybody what a freak you are now. Tell everybody that your Senator’s former lover — and Moira’s now in France, by the way — took revenge on you, for the dirty trick that you pulled to cover his sorry ass. Step out in public like the fire-eatin’ boy, and nicely set fire to yourself. Or else, just see sense and come on board with me! You’ll be doin’ just exactly what you did before. But instead of just fast-talkin’ people into a new way of life — hell, words never stick any-how — you can blast ’em into it. When you do that to ’em, they don’t go back, son. Just like you’re never going back.”

“Why would I make thousands of people into sideshow freaks? Why should everyone be as unhappy as I am?”

“Nothin’ unhappy about it! The science really works! It works just great!”

“Hey, Huey! Give it up, dude! I know this guy. You’ll never make him happy! He doesn’t know what the word means! You can’t get away with this, man — you’ve made him twice as bad!”

Huey had lost patience. He gestured absently for his bodyguards.

A pair of pistol-toting goons emerged from the gilded shadows of the elegant room behind the balcony. Kevin fell silent.

“Get his hands free,” Huey told the bodyguard. “Get him a coat and hat. He’s a player. We’re talking seriously now.”

The bodyguard freed Oscar’s hands. Oscar began rubbing his wrists. The bodyguard threw someone’s dark jacket over Oscar’s prison coveralls.

Huey sidled a little closer. “Oscar, let’s talk turkey now. This thing is a great gift. Sure, it’s a little tough on you at first, like ridin’ a bicycle. It’s multitasking, that’s its very nature. I’m not saying it’s per-fect. Nothing technical is ever perfect. It’s a very real-world thing. It speeds up your heartbeat — has to speed up the chip a little. And it is multitasking, so you do get certain operations that kinda hang… And others that pop up suddenly… And every once in a while, you get two streams of thought going that get kinda stuck; so you freeze there, and you have to drop your working memory. But you just give the old head a good hard shake, and you boot right back up again.”

“I see.”

“See, I’m really leveling with you here. This isn’t snake oil, this is the McCoy. Sure, you have some language problems, and you do tend to mutter sometimes. But, son … you’re twice the man you were! You can think in two languages at once! If you work at it, you can do amazing things with both your hands. And the best of all, boy — is when you get two good trains of thought going, and they start switch-ing passengers. That’s what intuition is all about — when you know things, but you don’t know how you know. That’s all done in the preconscious mind — it’s thought that you don’t know you’re thinking. But when you’re really bearing down, and you’re thinking two things at once — ideas bleed over. They mix. They flavor each other. They cook down real rich and fine. That’s inspiration. It’s the finest mental sensation you’ll ever have. The only problem with that is — sometimes those ideas are so confounded great, you have a little problem with impulse control.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed that little impulse problem.”

“Well, son, most people hide their light under a bushel and they never act on impulse. That’s why they end up buried in un-marked graves. A real player’s got initiative, he’s a man of action. But sure, I admit it: the impulse thing is a bug. That’s why a major player needs good counselors. And if you don’t have a top-of-the-line, raccoon-tailed political adviser, maybe you can make yourself one.”

“Heeeey!” Kevin screeched. He had given up on Huey; he had suddenly turned his attention to the crowd below. “Hey, people! Your Governor’s gone nuts! He uses poison and he’s go

The bodyguards seized Kevin’s pinioned arms and began to pummel him.