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3
ONE MEMBER of the Renewal is a kid named Cheryl DeMarco. She just turned eighteen, and her parents want me to get her out."
"Whether she wants to get out or not?" Jesse said.
"I explained that if she didn't want to leave," Su
"And?"
"They asked if I knew anybody who could remove her forcibly."
"Which of course you do," Jesse said.
"I told them I didn't," Su
"A white lie," Jesse said.
Su
"True," she said. "But I thought I'd rather not conspire in a kidnapping."
"I'll keep the parents in mind," Jesse said, "if the kid turns up missing."
"They didn't press it," Su
"The Renewal is not exactly secret," Jesse said. "How come they don't know where to find her?"
"I think the whole thing scares them," Su
Jesse nodded.
"Do you have any reason to think the Renewal is dangerous?" Su
"No."
"People are scared by things they don't understand," Su
"Yep."
"You know what else I think?" Su
"No," Jesse said. "I don't."
Su
"I think they're scared of the kid," she said.
"Physically?"
Su
"No," she said. "I think they don't want her to be mad at them."
"I would have guessed she might be a little mad at them already," Jesse said.
"Leaving home and joining an unorthodox religious group?" Su
"Seems like there might be some sort of anger in there."
"Rebellion?" Su
"Maybe it is," Jesse said.
"You're a big help."
"I try," Jesse said.
"So, where do I find this group?" Su
"Down near the Gray Gull," Jesse said. "I'll take you down."
Su
"Good heavens, where does the time go," she said. "It's noon."
"Lunch?" Jesse said.
"It's right near the Gray Gull anyway," Su
"Sure," Jesse said.
"We can eat lunch and head over to the Renewal."
"Spike work the lunch hour?" Jesse said.
"Lunch is a little early for Spike to be up," Su
"Fu
"I'm a bear for timing," Su
"No," Jesse said. "I like it."
4
THEY HAD ICED TEA and lobster rolls. Jesse had french fries with his. Su
He looks so perfectly integrated, she thought.
"Anything from Je
Jesse shook his head.
"We're not in touch," he said.
"She's really gone?" Su
"She's really gone," Jesse said.
"How do you feel about that?"
Jesse shook his head.
"You and Dix," he said. "We've both had too much shrinkage."
"Clever dodge," Su
Jesse nodded.
"Okay," he said. "I'll talk about it if you want. But afterwards you gotta talk about Richie."
"God, you're tough," Su
"Of course," Jesse said. "I'm the chief of police."
He ate a french fry.
"Okay," Su
Jesse nodded.
"Whaddya want to know?" he said.
"How you feel about her being gone?"
"Part of her I miss," Jesse said. "Part of her was-still is, I guess-simply sensational. Fu
"Of course you will," Su
"But finally, I guess, it came with too much else."
"Like?"
"The desperate need to be… what? Important?" Jesse said. "Successful? Special?"
"The need to be noticed?" Su
"Yes," Jesse said. "It ate her up, and she couldn't seem to overcome it."
"You know why?"
"Why she needed to be noticed?" Jesse said.
"Yes."
"No."
"Does she?" Su
"I don't know," Jesse said. "She still needs it."
"And you were not enough," Su
Jesse drank most of his iced tea and gestured to the waitress. She poured him some more. He added some sugar and drank another swallow and looked at Su
"No," he said. "I wasn't."
"Does that bother you?"
"That I wasn't enough?" Jesse said.
Su
"A lot," Jesse said.
"Think it's why you drink?" Su
Jesse was silent for a moment, looking at his iced tea.
"I think I always drank too much," Jesse said. "But it got away from me when Je
"How you doing now?"
"Pretty good," Jesse said. "Normally I have a couple at night after work, before I have supper. I haven't been drunk for a long time."
Su
"Why do you-" she said.
Jesse's cell phone rang.
"Excuse me," he said, and answered it.
He listened for a moment.
"Okay," he said. "I'll come along."
He looked at Su
"Business?" she said.
"Yes."
"Go ahead," Su
"That doesn't seem right," Jesse said.
"Spike has never charged me for a meal," Su
Jesse stood.
"Boston, too?"
"Boston," Su
"Maybe I should try that," he said.
"Spike doesn't love you," Su
"But he does you?" Jesse said.
"Totally," Su
"Spike's gay," Jesse said.
"True," Su
"Some men might do both," Jesse said.
"Anyone in mind?"
"We'll talk," Jesse said. "You had a question before the phone rang?"
"It can wait," Su
"I'm always the chief of police," Jesse said.
"Even in a dressing room in a boutique on Rodeo Drive?" Jesse smiled.
"Except then," he said.
5
SUNNY DECIDED TO VISIT the Renewal on her own. She had an address, and she knew it was in the neighborhood. She walked up the low-rise of Front Street from the wharf, along the harbor front. Jesse was so much like her ex-husband. Both of them contained, and interior, and physically competent. Both of them, maybe, a little dangerous. Her father was like that, too. She smiled.
What a coincidence, I'm attracted to men like my father.
But all that competence and grace, she thought, was exterior, and inside-confusion. At least in Jesse's case. At least about love.
Most of the houses along this stretch of waterfront in the oldest part of town looked as if they'd been rehabbed recently by people with money. They didn't seem very interesting from the street side. They all appeared oriented toward the harbor.
An ocean view, Su
She stopped walking.
I don't know, she thought. I have no idea… I have no idea what Richie was, or is, like inside… Daddy, either… Except I know Daddy loves me… I think maybe Richie does, too… or did… I know more about Jesse than I know about anyone… That has to mean something.
A white-haired woman passed, walking an energetic beagle.
"Are you all right, miss?" the lady said.
Su
"Yes, ma'am," Su
"Oh, my," the lady said. "We mustn't do too much of that." Su
"No," Su