The Surrendered

“Then you must believe me when I say this can’t come to any good. I’m sorry for what I said to her and I’ll apologize to her tomorrow. But you must be realistic. The three infants in Seoul we signed on to adopt, have you completely forgotten about them?”

“No… of course not…”

“So what does she think is going to happen? What have you promised her?”

“Nothing. I’ve promised her nothing.”

“Then what are you hoping for?”

“I was hoping we could take her, too. I know it’ll be difficult with the embassy, but you know that one consulate officer well and I thought you might ask if he could make an exception for us, so we could take one more. Besides, I thought June could help me with the children. I don’t know if I can handle them all myself.”

“First off, I’ll help you. And your aunt will help out, too, I’m sure. But do you for a second believe that June will make things easier? For you, perhaps, because she obviously loves you. But for us? For our other children? Do you truly believe that June would be kind to them? That she would show them love and care? Do you think she would treat them well when you weren’t around? Come on, tell me the truth.”

“I don’t know,” she said softly. “I don’t know how she’ll be.”

“Of course you do, dear. How can you imagine otherwise, with the way she’s behaved herself here? The fact is, the girl has already grown up. She’s who she is now, through and through. She’s not going to change.”

“Why couldn’t she?”

“Because she’s not a nice girl. She’s not a kind girl. Maybe she was once, but she isn’t anymore. I hate to be so hard, but I don’t know any other way to say it.”

“You have no idea what’s happened to her, Ames. You don’t know what she’s been through. If you did you wouldn’t talk like this.”

“I don’t know what happened to her,” he said. “That’s true. But I know plenty about some of the others, as do you. None them has a more profound story than any of the rest. Not in sum, at least. They all have nothing, and we agreed that we would start with them from this point on. It’s all we can do. There are thousands of needy children in this country. Maybe tens of thousands. And we’re only helping the orphans! We were warned by our colleagues, remember? What was their saying? ‘So many pretty stones in the river, but you can’t pick them all up’? How right they were-so many of them, right here with us. But you chose the stone that’s razor sharp.”

“She chose me, Ames.”

“But you encouraged her over all the others. Everyone saw that.”

“No one else is going to adopt her,” she said, defeated. “They won’t, and you know it.”

He didn’t answer her. Soon Hector heard her crying again, if very softly. Weak beams of candlelight showed through cracks in the door-jamb and when he put his eye before it he saw Ta

“You’ve been terribly low, darling. For so long now. It can’t be all about that girl. I’ve done nothing different since we’ve come here. I’ve done nothing wrong. Have I?”

She shook her head.

“Maybe I have but can’t see it,” he said anyway, exasperation pitching his voice higher. His face looked as desperate and broken as hers. “Please tell me. Tell me if I have.”

But Sylvie didn’t say any more or look up at him and Ta

That week the Ta

“I’m going on a trip now.”

“I know.”

“Mrs. Ta

“I haven’t been anywhere else, for a while.”

“Yes, I know, and I appreciate it. That and your hard work. You’re making excellent progress on the projects. But while I’m gone I’d feel more comfortable if you’d be sure to stay on the grounds. Or at least nearby. My wife hasn’t been feeling well for some time now. Perhaps you’ve noticed something.”

“She’s been sick.”

“It’s not only a physical illness,” Ta

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” he answered gravely. “I’m afraid that she’ll somehow hurt herself.”

“Why don’t you take her with you, then?”

“She won’t come. She wants to stay here.” A column of wind whipped up dust from the road and Ta

“I have to go. Will you do this for me?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You’ll please just look in on her. Knock on her door, if you like.”

For the rest of the day Hector rehearsed in his mind how he would do so. But for the first few days of Ta