Can You Keep A Secret?

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I had no idea she could do this. No idea! I mean, we did a bit of ballet together. And a bit of

tap. But we never… I never… How can I have known someone for over twenty years and

have no idea they could dance?

She just did this amazing slow, sinewy dance with a guy in a mask who I guess is Jean-Paul,

and now she's leaping and spi

staring at her, agog, and she looks so completely radiant. I haven't seen her look so happy for

months. I'm so proud of her.

To my horror, tears start to prick my eyes. And now my nose is starting to run. I don't even

have a tissue. This is so embarrassing. I'm going to have to sniff, like a mother at a Nativity

play. Next I'll be standing up and ru

darling, wave to Daddy!'

OK. I need to get a hold of myself, otherwise it'll be like the time I took my little goddaughter

Amy to see the Disney cartoon Tarzan, and when the lights went up, she was fast

asleep and I was in floods, being gawped at by a load of stony-eyed four-year-olds. (Just in

my defence, it was pretty romantic. And Tarzan was pretty sexy.)

I feel something nudging my hand. I look up, and Jack's offering me a hanky. As I take it

from him, his fingers curl briefly round mine.

When the performance comes to an end, I'm on a total high. Lissy takes a star bow, and both

Jack and I applaud madly, gri

'Don't tell anyone I cried,' I say, above the sound of applause.

'I won't,' says Jack, and gives me a rueful smile. 'I promise.'

The curtain comes down for the last time, and people start getting out of their seats, reaching

for jackets and bags. And now we're coming back down to normality again, I feel my

exhilaration seeping away and anxiety returning. I have to try to contact Jemima again.

At the exit, people are streaming across the courtyard to a lit-up room on the other side.

'Lissy said I should meet her at the party,' I say to Jack. 'So er… why don't you go on? I just

need to make a quick call.'

'Are you OK?' says Jack, giving me a curious look. 'You seem jumpy.'

'I'm fine!' I say. 'Just excited!' I give him as convincing a beam as I can manage, then wait

until he's safely out of earshot. Immediately I dial Jemima's number. Straight on to messages.

I dial it again. Messages again.

I want to scream with frustration. Where is she? What's she doing? How can I contain her if I

don't know where she is?

I stand perfectly still, trying to ignore my thrusting panic, trying to work out what to do.

OK. I'll just have to go to the party and act normally, keep trying her on the phone and if all

else fails, wait until I see her later. There's nothing else I can do. It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

The party is huge and bright and noisy. All the dancers are there, still in costume, and all the

audience, and a fair number of people who seem to have come along just for the ride. Waiters

are carrying drinks around and the noise of chatter is tremendous. As I walk in, I can't see

anyone I know. I take a glass of wine and start edging into the crowd, overhearing

conversations all around.

'… wonderful costumes…'

'… find time for rehearsals?'

'… judge was totally intransigent…'

Suddenly I spot Lissy, looking flushed and shiny and surrounded by a load of good-looking

lawyer-type guys, one of whom is blatantly staring at her legs.

'Lissy!' I cry. She turns around and I give her a huge hug. 'I had no idea you could dance like

that! You were amazing!'

'Oh no. I wasn't,' she says at once, and pulls a typical Lissy-face. 'I completely messed up-'

'Stop!' I interrupt. 'Lissy, it was utterly fantastic. You were fantastic.'

'But I was completely crap in the-'

'Don't say you were crap!' I practically yell. 'You were fantastic. Say it. Say it, Lissy.'

'Well… OK.' Her face reluctantly creases into a smile. 'OK. I was… fantastic!' She gives an

elated laugh. 'Emma, I've never felt so good in my life! And guess what, we're already

pla

'But…' I stare at her. 'You said you never wanted to do this again, ever, and if you mentioned

it again, I had to stop you.'

'Oh, that was just stage fright,' she says with an airy wave of her hand. Then she lowers her

voice. 'I saw Jack, by the way.' She gives me an avid look. 'What's going on?'

My heart gives a huge thump. Should I tell her about Jemima?

No. She'll only get all hassled. And anyway, there's nothing either of us can do right now.

'Jack came here to talk to me.' I hesitate. 'To… tell me his secret.'

'You're joking!' breathes Lissy, hand to her mouth. 'So — what is it?'

'I can't tell you.'

'You can't tell me?' Lissy stares at me in incredulity. 'After all that, you're not even going to

tell me?'

'Lissy, I really can't.' I pull an agonized face. 'It's… complicated.'

God, I sound just like Jack.

'Well, all right,' says Lissy a bit grumpily. 'I suppose I can live without knowing. So… are

you two together again?'

'I du

'Lissy! That was fabulous!' A couple of girls in suits appear at her side. I give her a smile and

move away slightly as she greets them.

Jack is nowhere to be seen. Should I try Jemima again?

Surreptitiously I start getting out my phone, then hastily put it away again as I hear a voice

behind me calling 'Emma!'

I look round, and give a huge start of surprise. Co

glass of wine, his hair all shiny and blond under the spotlights. He has a new tie on, I notice

instantly. Big yellow polka dots on blue. I don't like it.

'Co

'Lissy sent me a flyer,' he replies, a little defensively. 'I've always been fond of Lissy. I

thought I'd come along. And I'm glad I've run into you,' he adds awkwardly. 'I'd like to talk to

you, if I may.'

He draws me towards the door, away from the main crowd, and I follow, a tad nervously. I

haven't had a proper chat with Co

because every time I've glimpsed him, I've quickly hurried the other way.

'Yes?' I say, turning to face him. 'What did you want to talk about?'

'Emma.' Co

feeling that you weren't always… totally honest with me in our relationship.'

This could be the understatement of the year.

'You're right,' I admit, shamefacedly. 'Oh God, Co

everything that happened-' He lifts a hand with a look of dignity.

'It doesn't matter. That's water under the bridge. But I'd be grateful if you were totally honest

with me now.'

'Absolutely,' I say, nodding earnestly. 'Of course.'

'I've recently… started a new relationship,' he says, a little stiffly.

'Wow!' I say in surprise. 'Good for you! Co

'Her name's Francesca.'

'And where did you-'

'I wanted to ask you about sex,' Co

'Oh! Right.' I feel a twinge of dismay, which I conceal by taking a sip of wine. 'Of course!'

'Were you honest with me in that… area?'

'Er… what do you mean?' I say lightly, playing for time.

'Were you honest with me in bed?' His face is growing pillar-box red. 'Or were you faking it?'

Oh no. Is that what he thinks?