Incubus Dreams

"I know that," I said, and my voice was soft, because it was all I had to offer.

He looked at me. "You know that, then can you tell her?"

"I'll do everything I can to reassure her that you're not trying to clip her wings."

"Is that it? Is she just afraid I'll take away her freedom?"

"I don't know, Louie. Truthfully, if you'd asked me beforehand, I'd have said, she'd say, yes."

"Really," he said, and he was studying my face now. Studying it as if the secrets to the universe were somehow hidden in my eyes. I preferred him staring out into the dark for his answers instead of in my face. I wasn't sure what the darkness had to offer him, but I knew I didn't have any answers.

"Yeah, Louie, really. Last I knew she was the happiest I've ever seen her."

"So I wasn't just fooling myself?" he asked, and he was still giving me those raw, demanding eyes.

"No, Louie, you weren't fooling yourself."

"Then why?" he asked. "Why?"

I shrugged, and had to say something, because he was still staring at me. "I don't know. I'm sorry." It sounded so inadequate, sorry. But it was all I had to offer tonight.

He nodded, a little too rapidly, as he turned away, and stared out into the dark again. I knew he wasn't really seeing the yard that bordered the church. I knew he was just staring to be staring, and not to have to meet anyone's eyes for a while, but it was sort of u

He turned away from the dark and gave me his eyes again. They were raw, and I had to fight to not turn away myself. My rule was always if someone could feel the emotion, the least I could do was not turn away.

"It looks like your sweetheart is coming this way."

I glanced back to find Micah walking slowly toward us. Normally, he wouldn't have interrupted, but we were on a deadline tonight. Time and the ardeur wait for no man. I would have explained that Micah wasn't being rude, that we had to go, but I wasn't sure Louie knew about the ardeur , and I hated to explain it to people who didn't know. It always sounded so... odd.

"How long have you and Micah been living together?" he asked.

"About four months."

"Ro

I thought about it, then said, "I guess not. She didn't like that I'm still dating Jean-Claude."

Louie watched Micah walking toward us. His face looked thoughtful. "Maybe that wasn't it."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe it was having someone live with you. Maybe that's what she couldn't handle."

"She said it was me dating a vamp."

"Ro

I shrugged, because I didn't think that was it, but I couldn't blame him for thinking it. "I don't know."

He gave me that smile again, his eyes like dark hopeless pools. "You go home, Anita, and enjoy it." I caught a glitter of tears before he turned away and looked out into the dark again.

I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to hug him? If it had been a girlfriend, I probably would have. But it wasn't, he wasn't, and I didn't need any more complications tonight. I did the guy thing, and patted him awkwardly on the back. Whether I would have worked up to a full-blown hug, I don't know, because Micah was beside us.

"Sorry to interrupt, but it's been nearly an hour since we hit the parking lot." It was his subtle way of reminding me that sometimes an hour was all we got from the time I squashed the ardeur down to the time it resurfaced.

I took the hint. With Micah beside me, I felt more secure. If the ardeur had risen, he'd have been there to see that nothing disastrous happened. I slid my arm through Louie's arm and bumped my head against his shoulder. "Come on, Louie, we'll walk you to Jason's car."

He nodded, as if he didn't trust his voice, and was careful not to look at either of us as we walked him toward the lights of the parking lot. Micah pretended that nothing was wrong. I pretended that there were no tears to see. I kept my hold on his arm all the way to where Jason waited standing beside his car.

Jason opened the passenger side door for Louie, giving me a questioning look over Louie's shoulder.

I started to shake my head, but Louie hugged me. Hugged me suddenly, and fiercely, so tight it took my breath away. I thought he'd say something, but he didn't. He just held on, and I wrapped my arms around his back, held him, because I couldn't not hold him. About the time I thought I was going to have to think of something to say, he stepped back. He'd been crying while he held me, but I hadn't felt a single sob, nothing, but the fierceness in his arms, his hands, and silent tears.

He blinked and gave Micah an odd smile, that was almost a sob. "How did you talk her into moving in with you?"

"I moved in with her," he said, voice very quiet, very even, a careful voice, reserved for frightened children, and overly emotional adults. I'd heard that voice often enough aimed at me. "And she asked me."

"Lucky," Louie said, and that one word sounded like it meant anything but, lucky.

"I know," Micah said, and he put an arm around my shoulders and moved me just a little back from Louie, so there was room for him to get through the open car door.

Louie nodded again, too rapidly, and too many times. "Lucky." He slid into the car, and Jason shut the door behind him.

Jason leaned into me. "What just happened?"

It wasn't my secret to tell, but it felt like dirty pool sending Jason to drive Louie home without warning him. "It's his secret to tell, not mine. I'm sorry. But let's just say he's had a rough night."

Louie knocked on the window. The sound made both Jason and me jump. Micah had either seen it coming, or had better nerves than we did. Jason moved back enough so the door could open. "Don't bother to whisper this close to the car. I can hear you."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be, it's not like he didn't see the fight. Tell him, so I don't have to." And Louie closed the door again. He leaned his head back against the seat, and more of those completely silent tears began to escape him.

We all looked away, as if it were somehow shameful to watch. I think we'd have been less embarrassed if he'd been undressed. "What is up?" Jason said.

"He proposed to Ro

Jason's mouth dropped open just like mine had. "You are joking me."

I shook my head. "Wish I was."

"But they are like one of the happiest couples I know."

I shrugged. "I don't explain the news, I just report it."

"Shit," Jason said. He glanced back at his car, and at Louie. "I'll get him home."

"Thanks."

Jason gave me a shadow of his usual grin. "Well, can't send him home with you. Wouldn't that complicate the hell out of things?"

"What?" I asked.

Micah kissed me on the side of the face. "The ardeur rising with Louie in the car. Speaking of which..."

"You guys go," Jason said, "we'll be okay."

I kissed him on the cheek, quick and sisterly. "You're a braver man than I am, Gunga Din."