Guilty Pleasures

I got one piece of pizza with just cheese, the way I like it, but one piece with everything. I hate mushrooms and green peppers.

Sausage belongs on the breakfast table, not on pizza. I didn’t know which bothered me more; that I ordered it in the first place, or that I had eaten half of it before I realized what I was doing. I was craving food that I normally hated. Why? One more question without an answer. Why did this one scare me?

My neighbor, Mrs. Pringle, was walking her dog back and forth on the grass in front of our apartment building. I parked and unloaded my one overstuffed bag from the trunk.

Mrs. Pringle is over sixty, nearly six feet tall, stretched too thin with age. Her faded blue eyes are bright and curious behind silver-rimmed glasses. Her dog Custard is a Pomeranian. He looks like a golden dandelion fluff with cat feet.

Mrs. Pringle waved at me, and I was trapped. I smiled and walked over to them. Custard began jumping up on me, like he had springs in his tiny legs. He looked like a wind-up toy. His yapping was frequent and insistent, joyous.

Custard knows I don’t like him, and in his twisted doggy mind he is determined to win me over. Or maybe he just knows it irritates me. Whatever.

“Anita, you naughty girl, why didn’t you tell me you had a beau?” Mrs. Pringle asked.

I frowned. “A beau?”

“A boyfriend,” she said.

I didn’t know what in the world she was talking about. “What do you mean?”

“Be coy if you wish, but when a young woman gives her apartment key to a man, it means something.”

That lead balloon in my gut floated up a few inches. “Did you see someone going in my apartment today?” I worked very hard at keeping my face and voice casual.

“Yes, your nice young man. Very handsome.”

I wanted to ask what he looked like, but if he was my boyfriend with a key to my apartment, I should know. I couldn’t ask. Very handsome—could it be Phillip? But why? “When did he stop by?”

“Oh, around two this afternoon. I was just coming out to walk Custard as he was going in.”

“Did you see him leave?”

She was staring at me a little too hard. “No. Anita, was he not supposed to be in your home? Did I let a burglar get away?”

“No.” I managed a smile and almost a whole laugh. “I just didn’t expect him today, that’s all. If you see anyone going into my apartment, just let them. I’ll have friends going in and out for a few days.”

Her eyes had narrowed; her delicate-boned hands were very still. Even Custard was sitting in the grass, panting up at me. “Anita Blake,” she said, and I was reminded that she was a retired schoolteacher, it was that kind of voice. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing, really. I’ve just never given my key to a man before, and I’m a little unsure about it. Jittery.” I gave her my best wide-eyed i

She crossed her arms over her stomach. I don’t think she believed me. “If you are that nervous about this young man, then he is not the right one for you. If he was, you wouldn’t be jittery.”

I felt light with relief. She believed. “You’re probably right. Thank you for the advice. I may even take it.” I felt so good, I patted Custard on top of his furry little head.

I heard Mrs. Pringle say as I walked away, “Now, Custard, do your business and let’s go upstairs.”

For the second time in the same day I might have an intruder in my apartment. I walked down the hushed corridor and drew my gun. A door opened. A man and two children walked out. I slipped my gun and my hand in the shopping bag, pretending to search for something. I listened to their footsteps echo down the stairs.

I couldn’t just sit out here with a gun. Someone would call the police. Everybody was home from work, eating di

I carried the shopping bag in my left hand in front of me, gun and right hand still inside it. If worse came to worse, I’d shoot through the bag. I walked two doors past my apartment and dug my keys out of my purse. I sat the shopping bag against the wall and transferred the gun to my left hand. I could shoot left-handed, not as well, but it would have to do. I held the gun parallel to my thigh and hoped nobody would come the wrong way down the hall and see it. I knelt by the door, keys cupped in my right hand, quiet, not jingling this time. I learn fast.

I held the gun in front of my chest and inserted the keys. The lock clicked. I flinched and waited for gunshots or noise, or something. Nothing. I slipped the keys into my pocket and switched the gun back to my right hand. With just my wrist and part of my arm in front of the door, I turned the knob and pushed hard.

The door swung back and banged against the far wall, nobody there. No gunshots at the door. Silence.

I was crouched by the doorjamb, gun straight out, sca

Footsteps pounded up the stairs at the end of the hall. I had to make a decision. I reached my left hand back and got the shopping bag, never taking eyes or gun from the apartment. I scrambled inside, shoving the bag ahead of me. I shoved the door closed, still crouched by the floor.

The aquarium heater clicked, then whirred, and I jumped. Sweat was oozing down my spine. The brave vampire slayer. If they could only see me now. The apartment felt empty. There was no one here but me, but just in case, I searched in closets, under beds. Playing Dirty Harry as I slammed doors and flattened myself against walls. I felt like a fool, but I would have been a bigger fool to have trusted the apartment was empty and been wrong.

There was a shotgun on the kitchen table, along with two boxes of ammo. A sheet of white typing paper lay under it. In neat, black letters, it said, “Anita, you have twenty-four hours.”

I stared at the note, reread it. Edward had been here. I don’t think I breathed for a minute. I was picturing my neighbor chatting with Edward. If Mrs. Pringle had hesitated at his lie, showed fear, would he have killed her?

I didn’t know. I just didn’t know. Dammit! I was like a plague. Everyone around me was in danger, but what could I do?

When in doubt, take a deep breath and keep moving. A philosophy I have lived by for years. I’ve heard worse, really.

The note meant I had twenty-four hours before Edward came for the location of Nikolaos’ daytime retreat. If I didn’t give it to him, I would have to kill him. I might not be able to do that.

I told Ro

Heavy damn sigh. I had to get dressed for the party. There just wasn’t time to worry about Edward. I had other problems tonight.

My answering machine was blinking, and I switched it on. Ro

The machine clicked, whirred, and was silent. I had two hours to dress and be there. Plenty of time. My average time for makeup is fifteen minutes. Hair takes less, because all I do is run a brush through it. Presto, I’m presentable.

I don’t wear makeup often, so when I do, I always feel like it’s too dark, too fake. But I always get compliments on it, like, “Why don’t you wear eye shadow more often? It really brings out your eyes,” or my favorite, “You look so much better in makeup.” All the above implies that without makeup, you look like a candidate for the spinster farm.