The Beach

With a jolt, I realized the direction she was taking. She might have been a long way off delivering the bottom line, but I suddenly understood what it would be.

'So,' she said, and now I could clearly hear the controlled tension in her voice. 'Let me spell the problem out. With Karl ru

'Sal,' I interrupted. 'I won't do it.'

There was a short silence.

Although her composure remained fixed, I could sense the level of calculation at which Sal's mind was working. With a chess player's vacant gaze she was ru

Eventually she crossed her arms. 'You won't do what, Richard?'

'I won't, Sal. I won't do it.'

'Do what?'

'Don't ask me, please…'

'Don't ask you to…'

I looked at her carefully, wondering if it was possible I'd read the signals wrong. But as my eyes moved to her face, hers dipped, and I knew for certain I was right.

And Sal saw this too. Immediately the pretence dropped, and with a slight shrug she said, 'I'm afraid I am asking you, Richard.'

I shook my head.' Sal, please…'

'I'm going to leave the longhouse now. In half an hour I'll come back and you will be gone. By tonight, all of our troubles will be behind us. The last month will be concluded. We'll never have to even think about it ever again.'

She stood up to go, drawing in a deep breath as she rose.

'The beach is my life, Richard, but it's yours too. Don't forget that. You can't afford to let me down.'

I nodded miserably.

'Good.' She returned the nod, turned around, and walked away.

Outside, everyone apart from the fishing details was busy in the clearing. Most were outside the kitchen hut, helping to peel an enormous mound of vegetables, at least four times our usual ration. Unhygienix had stuck some of the chicken feathers in his hair. The carpenters were in the middle, marking out the dimension of the seating area. Bugs and Cassie had started to lay down palm leaves, loosely meshed together as a carpet.

All engrossed in their work and laughter. I easily ducked around the jungle side of the longhouse without being seen.

Is It Safe?

I thought of the caves after I'd checked around the waterfall and the far end of the Khyber Pass. If I'd been thinking more clearly, I would have checked the caves first. Not that it would have made much difference. The boat had probably been gone since sun-up.

These days I can find comfort in the idea that, weirdly, my deranged assault had cured Karl after all. I often picture him, trying to guess what he's doing at this moment or that. All the images revolve around him having a normal life, and a loose impression of what a normal life might be in Sweden. Skiing, eating, working in an office, drinking with friends in a bar. An oak-panelled bar with moose heads and hunting trophies on the walls, for some reason. The more mundane the picture, the more comfort it gives me.

But at the time my reaction wasn't so straightforward. Part of me was relieved that killing Karl was now an impossibility. I doubt I'd have killed him if he had been in the caves, despite the inflexibility of Sal's order, but I'm glad I never had the chance to find out. Most of me, however, was numb with shock. For the first few minutes after seeing the empty cove, I didn't even have the will to climb out of the water. All I could manage was to hang on to the rocks, and let myself be scraped up and down by the swell. I couldn't begin to imagine how Sal would react to this development. Karl turning up during Tet was of almost zero consequence compared to losing the boat, let alone the possible consequences of his arrival on Ko Pha-Ngan.

Eventually one of the larger swells as good as threw me on to the shelf where the gasoline can was usually tied down. Once there, I dragged myself a little further in and didn't move again until, a short while later, I saw someone surface near the underwater passage.

Instinctively I ducked down, not recognizing the dark bobbing head at first. An instant paranoid scenario had formed: as someone who knew too much, Sal had sent Bugs after me in the same way that I'd been sent after Karl. Maybe this was what she'd meant by saying I couldn't afford to let her down.

'Richard?' the head called over the sound of the waves. It was Etie

Of all the people I might fear on the beach, Etie

I only noticed how cold I was when he'd swum over to the shelf and hauled himself up. I could hear his teeth chattering. The sun was still too low in the sky to reach inside the cave entrance, and the sea wind chilled the spray. 'I followed you,' he said, rubbing goose-bumps off his arms. 'I wanted to talk.'

I paused, wondering why he hadn't noticed that the boat was gone. Then it dawned on me that there was a good chance he'd never been on this side of the caves. In which case he'd also never been through the underwater passage before. Very brave, I commented to myself. Or just as crazy as everyone else.

'I know there has been some difficulty between us,' he continued. 'Some difficulty between us, yes?'

I shrugged.

'Please, Richard. I would be very happy if we could talk about this. We should not be this way. Not at this time…'

'What time is that?'

'Before…' Etie

It was fu

'That is the problem, no? It is because of my reaction. My stupid reaction. Really, it was all my fault. I am very sorry that…'

'Etie

'…The kiss.'

'The kiss.' I glanced up at the sky. 'Fuck the kiss. And fuck all that crap about Tet and Sal, too. I know how much you care about Tet.'

'I care about Tet!' he exclaimed, very alarmed. 'Of course, I care very much! I am working very hard to make sure tha…'

'Bullshit,' I interrupted.

Etie

I caught his elbow and dragged him back down. 'Jesus! What's the matter with you?'

'Nothing! Richard, I only wanted to apologize! Please, now I must get back to…'

'Etie

He went very silent.

'What?' I shouted. 'What is it?'

He still wouldn't reply, but looked extremely worried.

'Say something!'

After at least a half-minute, Etie

'You don't know what?'

He took a deep breath. 'I do not know if it is… safe.'

'Safe? '

'I… I understand Sal has not been happy with me…'

I dropped my head into my hands. 'Christ,' I muttered. 'You do think I'm the Gestapo.'

'I think you… do things. You do things for Sal. Everybody knows…'

'Everybody knows?'

'Today, you were looking for Karl…' 'What does everybody know?' 'Where is Karl, Richard? Did you catch him?' I closed my eyes against a wave of nausea. 'Is he dead now?'