Never Eat Alone

Conferences

When you have something unique to say and become a speaker, you momentarily become a celebrity in your own right. Networking is never easier than when people are coming to you. There are thousands of conferences that indulge any number of interests. If you develop a side expertise or passion, as I've suggested earlier, you can find out which well-known people share your interest and attend the conferences that these people will likely attend. Spirituality in leadership and human rights are two passions of mine; I try to participate by being active in several organizations and speaking at several conferences a year. I've met countless prominent people this way.

Nonprofit Boards

Start out by finding four or five issues that are important to you and then support them locally. Successful nonprofits seek out a few famous people to sit on their boards to help them get publicity. Eventually, the goal is to become a board member yourself and sit side by side with these people. But be sure you care and indeed want to help the cause.

Sports (Especially Golf)

Sports and exercise are terrific areas where you can meet new, important people. On the field or court, in the gym or on the track, it's a level playing field. Reputation means little. What does matter is the skill you have and the camaraderie you can create. There's something about athletics that gets people to put down their guard. Maybe competition of this sort taps into our psyche in a certain way that brings us back to a more i

Ah, golf. I would be doing you an injustice if I didn't tell you squarely that golf, among all other sports, remains the true hub of America's business elite. I've seen up close and personal how highprofile CEOs and executives lobby desperately—often for years— to be admitted into a private golf club. Why do these men and women of power endure this humiliation to play a round or two? It is, of course, the relationships, the building of friendships, the camaraderie that is created with people who they know could be very important to their company or career.

The rules of conduct are strict. It should never appear to anyone that you are trying to cash in on relationships or your membership in the club. At some clubs, to so much as hint at a future business deal on the course is a breach of etiquette; at others, you can be rather blatant about it. You'll need to feel that out. But most avid golfers will admit that the game has opened up countless opportunities. They do, ultimately, get to do business with one another—even if it's on the nineteenth hole, at the bar, over drinks. Golfers also say that the experience on the course with another person is very telling. It comes down, again, to trust. A CEO can tell if a future business partner is discreet, if he or she plays by the rules, if he or she can handle stress or is a pleasure to be around. It is both a chance to meet new people and see if these new people are up to snuff.

Because the game has proven so useful, there are many ways one can enjoy its extracurricular benefits at any level. Almost all industry associations host regular golf outings and tournaments.

Charities, conferences, and other organizations do the same in hopes of drawing this distinguished group. You can participate in any of these events without being a member.

As for me, despite my years caddying and the fact that I played for my high school team and have won a few tournaments, I don't play golf. It just takes too much time for me. Four-plus hours is just too tough. Now I play only a periodic round with friends at a wedding weekend or at a big event. But for me, it's mostly Barry's Boot Camp for my kind of sports or squash at the Yale Club in New York or a great run in Central Park or around the Hollywood Hills. Whether it's golf, te

There's nothing wrong with looking for ways to spend time with people who have accomplished more and have more wisdom than you. Once you put yourself in position to co

27. Build It and They Will Come

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.

As a young man, I could relate to Groucho Marx. Like the famous comedian, I, too, had no interest in belonging to any club that would have me as a member.

It certainly wasn't because of some misplaced belief in selfsufficiency: I knew then how invaluable and rewarding a gathering of people could be. You wouldn't hear any angry grumblings out of my mouth about not having enough time. (That excuse kills me—what could be more important than meeting likeminded professionals?) And I certainly wasn't shy in large crowds.

It's just that all the clubs that seemed worth attending had their doors closed to a young, relatively unco

These clubs and conferences, with their selective memberships and aura of power, exist for good reason: People are always hungry to congregate with other people with similar interests, to make a difference in their communities, and to create an environment that makes it easier to do business. Big company CEOs realize that to make big things happen—whether it's public policy or a big deal with a public company—you need others. And the more co

That's why the world's premier power and business gatherings, like the World Economic Forum in Davos and Renaissance Weekend, are such tough events to get into. At Renaissance Weekend, we've seen unknown politicians co

So you can't get into the big muckety-muck party tomorrow. Big deal. We all have the entrepreneurial spirit within us—if you can't play on a specific mountain, there's no reason not to build your own.

My friend Richard Wurman, an architect by trade, twenty years ago imagined how a convergence of technology, entertainment, and design was going to shake up the economy. "I was flying a lot, and I found that the only people who were interesting to talk to on airplanes were people in those three businesses," he has said on many an occasion. "And that when they were talking of a project they had passion about, they always included those other two professions." So to bring people in these fields together, he started the TED conference in 1984—with few attendees and his friends as guest speakers.

Opening every year with the same line, "Welcome to the di