Never Eat Alone

When this does inevitably occur for you, there are a few things to keep in mind that I've learned through the years.

While I'm aware of the impact a recognized persona can have on one's network, and I'm certainly not shy about putting myself in a place where meeting such people can occur, too much fuss and adoration will kill your efforts before they begin. Folks are folks.

This came into play years ago when I was at the Vanity Fair party at the old Russian Embassy following the White House Press Corps di

I was right—sort of. The man was Richard Schiff, the actor who played the communications advisor to the fictional president played by Martin Sheen in The West Wing. Out of context, I'm terrible with recognizing TV stars.

Just as casually as if he were someone I didn't know at all, I introduced myself. He paused slightly, as celebrities are apt to do before engaging with someone they don't know, and politely said hello without introducing himself.

"And you are?" I asked. When he realized I didn't know who he was immediately, he opened up. We ultimately exchanged e-mails and stayed in touch.

I've found that trust is the essential element of mixing with powerful and famous people—trust that you'll be discreet; trust that you have no ulterior motives behind your approach; trust that you'll deal with them as people and not as stars; and basically trust that you feel like a peer who deserves to be engaged as such. The first few moments of an encounter is the litmus test for such a person to size up whether he or she can trust you in these ways or not.

The irony of celebrities is that they often have very fragile egos. In many cases, something in them drove them to want to be famous. Imagine being publicly scrutinized by thousands of peopie each day! However much the world opens up to celebrities, a part of it also closes. There is a loss of privacy. And because they live in a world of adulation, celebrities struggle every day balancing their private and public personas. They often fret over the fact that their public persona becomes indistinguishable from their private personality. They feel misunderstood and underappreciated for who they really are.

To assure them that you're interested in them for themselves, rather than what the public perceives them to be, stay away from their fame and focus, instead, on their interests. You can certainly let them know that you respect their work, but don't dwell. Take them away from what they are normally barraged with.

Unfortunately, sometimes we make inappropriate exceptions when talking to exceptional people. You simply have to watch and listen with your heart as well as with your eyes. Find out what their passions are.

Not long ago, I saw the then-Governor of Vermont, Howard Dean, give a speech. It was at Renaissance Weekend and people were joking about this unknown governor of this small state and his crazy aspirations to become President. The next time I saw him speak was at a nonprofit event for human rights in D.C. By now, he was indeed ru

Intrigued by Dean and his message, I approached one of the people in his campaign staff (which, at the time, was one campaign aide and a state trooper). I told the aide that I was a politically active fellow Yale alum who was interested in meeting the presidential hopeful at some point. The aide and I had a good talk and I did talk briefly with Dean, as did many other folks at the event.

Two weeks later, there Dean was again at the Gill Foundation's a

As I sat in the audience, I heard one recommendation after another come to life in his speech. Holy cow! The Governor of Vermont and by now full-fledged presidential candidate (although still a really long shot) was taking my advice. After his talk, I told him how impressive the talk was and that I wanted to devote the rest of the event to introducing him to all the movers and shakers (read: big donors) within the Gill Foundation.

Months later, when I saw the governor again at a fundraising di

Just remember that famous and powerful people are first and foremost people: They're proud, sad, insecure, hopeful, and if you can help them achieve their goals, in whatever capacity, they will be appreciative. Yes, it helps to be at the right places and invited to the right events. But the fancy weekends and invite-only conferences aren't the only ways to meet important people.

In America, there is an association for everything. If you want to meet the movers and shakers directly, you have to become a joiner. It's amazing how accessible people are when we meet them at events that speak to their interests.

Here are a few more places that I've found particularly rewarding when looking to find people on the rise or who have already risen:

Young Presidents' Organization (YPO)

This organization is for executive managers under the age of forty-four and has regional chapters across the United States. If you're ru

Political Fundraisers

Although I once ran for office as a Republican, I no longer openly discuss my political affiliation. Why? First, because I now vote the person and the issues, not the party. Also so I have access to those who are making a difference in both parties. I try and do three to ten fundraisers at my home each year, supporting both regional and national politicians who I believe will make a positive difference from both sides of the aisle. Politics is the nexus of money, passion, and power. In politics, the unknown person you help today is the political heavy that can help you tomorrow. Join a local campaign. Become an outspoken advocate on a particular issue; if it lights your fire, it's sure to light the fire of others: Find them and work together!