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But now, he was gone.
And Endest Sila
He felt his soul withering, dying under this blistering assault.
And, from some vast depth, the old man recalled… a river.
Defiant of all light, deep, so deep where ran the currents-currents that no force could contain. He could slip into those sure streams, yes, if he but reached down…
But the pain, it was so fierce. It demanded all of him. He could not claw free of it, even as it devoured him.
The river-if he could but reach it-
The god possessing Clip laughed. Everything was within his grasp. He could led his cherished High Priestess, so lovingly usurped from the Redeemer’s clutches, so thoroughly seduced into the mindless dance of oblivion, the worship of wasted lives she was defeating the Redeemer’s lone guardian-he was falling back step by step, a mass of wounds, a dozen of them clearly fatal, and though somehow he still stood, still fought, he could not last much longer.
The god wanted the Redeemer. A more worthy vessel than the one named Clip, which was so venal in its thoughts, so miserable in its hurts. No better than a child burned by neglect, and now all it dreamed of was lashing out.
It believed it had come to confront its father, but there was no father here. There never had been. It had believed it was chosen to deliver justice, but the one named Clip-who had never seen justice-did not understand its true meaning, which ever belonged solely and exclusively within the cage of one’s own soul.
No, the god’s need for Clip was coming to an end. This vessel would be given over to Saemenkelyk, no different from all the others. To dance, to lie above the High Priestess and gush black semen into her womb-a deed without pleasure, for all pleasure was consumed by the Dying God’s own blood, by the sweet kelyk. And she would swell with the immortal gifts a thousand times, ten thousand times.
The sweetest poison, after all, is the one eagerly shared.
The god advanced on the kneeling old man. Time to kill the fool.
Aranatha’s hand was cool and dry in Nimander’s grasp as she led him through an unknown realm that left him blind, stumbling, like a dog beaten senseless, the leash of that hand tugging him on and on.
‘Please,’ he whispered, ‘where are we going?’
‘To battle,’ she replied, and her voice was almost unrecognizable.
Nimander felt a tremor of fear. Was this even Aranatha? Perhaps some demon had taken her place-yet the hand, yes, he knew it. Unchanged, so familiar in its ethereal touch. Like a glove with nothing in it-but no, he could feel it, firm, solid. Her hand, like everything else about her, was a mystery he had come to love.
The kiss she had given him-what seemed an eternity ago-he could feel it still, as if he had tasted something alien, something so far beyond him that he had no hope of ever understanding, of ever recognizing what it might be. A kiss, sweet as a blessing-but had it been Aranatha who had blessed him?
‘Aranatha-’
‘We are almost there-oh, will you defend me, Nimander? I can but reach through, not far, with little strength. It is all I have ever been able to do. But now… she insists. She commands.’
‘Who?’ he asked, suddenly chilled, suddenly shivering. ‘Who commands you?’
‘Why, Aranatha.’
But then-‘Who-who are you?’
‘Will you defend me, Nimander? I do not deserve it. My errors are legion. My hurt I have made into your curse, a curse upon every one of you. But we are past apologies. We stand in the dust of what’s done.’
‘Please-’
‘I do not think enough of me can reach through-not against him. I am sorry. If you do not stand in his way, I will fall. I will fail. I feel in your blood a whisper of… someone. Someone dear to me. Someone who might have withstood him.
‘But he does not await us. He is not there to defend me. What has happened? Nimander, I have only you.’
The small hand, that had felt dry and cool and so oddly reassuring in its re-moteness, now felt suddenly frail, like thin porcelain.
She does not guide me.
She holds on.
He sought comprehension from all that she had said. The blood of someone dear. She ca
‘Nimander, I have only you.’
We stand in the dust of what’s done.’
‘Nimander, we have arrived.’
Tears streamed down Seerdomin’s ravaged face. Overwhelmed by the helplessness, by the futility of his efforts against such an enemy, he rocked to every blow, staggered in retreat, and if he was laughing-and gods, he was-there was no hu-mour in that terrible sound.
He’d hadn’t much pride to begin with-or so he had made his pose, there be fore the Redeemer, one of such humility-but no soldier with any spine left did not hold to a secret conviction of prowess. And although he had not lied when he’d told himself he was fighting for a god he did not believe in, well, a part of him was unassailed by that particular detail. As if it’d make no difference. And in that was revealed the secret pride he had harboured.
He would surprise her. He would astonish her by resisting far beyond what she could have anticipated. He would fight the bitch to a standstill.
How grim, how noble, how poetic. Yes, they would sing of the battle, all those shining faces in some future temple of white, virgin stone, all those shining eyes so pleased to share heroic Seerdomin’s triumphant glory.
He could not help but laugh.
She was shattering him piece by pathetic piece. It was a wonder any part of his soul was left that could still recognize itself.
See me, Spi
At my stupid posing.
I am mocked, friend, by my own pride. Yes, do laugh, as you so wanted to do each and every time you defeated me on our tiny field of battle, there on the stained table in that damp, miserable tavern.
You did not imagine how I struggled to hold on to that pride, defeat after de. feat, crushing loss after crushing loss.
So now, let us cast aside our bland masks. Laugh, Spi
He had not even slowed her down. Blades smashed into him from all sides, three, four at a time. His broken body did not even know where to fall-her attacks were all that kept him standing.
He’d lost his sword.
He might even have lost the arm and hand that had been wielding it. There was no telling. He had no sense beyond this knot of mocking knowledge. This lone i
And now, at last, she must have flung away all her weapons, for her hands closed round his throat.
He forced his eyes open, stared into her laughing face-
Oh.
I understand now. It was you laughing.
You, not me. You I was hearing. Yes, I understand now-
That meant that he, why, he’d been weeping. So much for mockery. The truth was, there was nothing left in him but self-pity. Spi
Her hands tightening round his throat, she lifted him from the ground, held him high. So she could watch his face as she choked the last life from him. Watch, and laugh in his face of tears.
The High Priestess stood with hands to her mouth, too frightened to move, watching the Dying God destroy Endest Sila
Making of himself a final, frail barrier between the Tiste Andii and this horrendous, insane god. She cowered in its shadow. It had been hubris, mad hubris, to have believed they could withstand this abomination. Without Anomander Rake, without even Spi