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Speaking of which… what in hell am I going to write about for my next book?
Oh, well. Much too tired—and too late—to think about it now. Will put this away and get to bed. It must be past midnight, and I’m still on New York time. Thoughts on the follow-up to Sweeping Sands— and further speculation about Ms. Harris—will have to wait until tomorrow.
PDA of Cal Langdon
PDA of Cal Langdon
One last thing before I go, though:
She still seems bizarrely fixated with the fly of my jeans. I am starting to wonder if Mark didn’t resuscitate that ridiculous rumor from our days at Ohio State, about my having a super-sized wang, and share it with Holly, who in turn shared it with Ms. Harris. How else to explain why I keep catching her staring in that general vicinity?
If this is true, I will be forced, simply, to kill Mark. You would think that, at his age, he’d be over such childish pranks.
But he does work in the sciences, and those gifted in that arena do occasionally seem not to have quite as evolved a sense of humor as the rest of us.
Remember to ask him tomorrow.
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e-mails
To: Listserv >
Fr: Peter Schumacher >
Re: JANE HARRIS
Good morning all of you fans of Wundercat! I go now to take my motorino into town to get the brotchen for JANE HARRIS! She is not yet awake. I can see that she has not yet opened the curtains of her bedroom window.
But when she does, she will find that there is fresh brotchen to enjoy with her coffee! Courtesy of me, #1 Wundercat Fan Of All Time!
Wundercat Lives—4eva!
Peter
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To: Mark Levine
Fr: Customer Service New York Journal Travel Privileges
Re: Car Rental
Dear Sir,
Our great apologies for the misunderstanding concerning your vehicle. Our offices, as you discovered, are not open on Sundays. However, if you return the automobile you were assigned to the car rental agency in Ancona on Monday, we will happily allow you to exchange it for the four-door sedan you mentioned.
Sally Marx
New York Journal Travel Specialist
Travel Diary of Jane Harris
Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine
Jane Harris
OK, everything I wrote in here last night about hating Italy and wishing I were home watching ER? Strike that.
I LOVE Italy. I LOVE it here.
Just now when I woke up, I pushed back the heavy curtains from my window, expecting to see more of the hard cold rain from yesterday….
Gone. No more rain.
Instead, there was a cloudless blue sky. And a distant, green, castle-topped hillside straight out of a fairy tale. And a crystal pool sparkling below me. And the scent of freshly cut hay. And the sun-washed stone walls of the terrazza dripping with the thick green leaves and fire pink blossoms of bougainvillea, and birds singing in the treetops—
Well, what else could I do but slap on my swimsuit and hit the water?
And it was so very, very…
COLD!!!!
OK? The water is REALLY cold. Like ice-cube-tray cold. I’m writing this half-shivering to death on one of the lounge chairs, completely draped in towels.
But even though it’s only like nine in the morning, or something, the sun is already beating down. Steam is coming up from the damp towels on my legs. Soon I should be toasty….
YES. Now THIS is how I’ve always pictured a European vacation. Just me, the water, clear blue sky, bright hot sun, and a bottle of acqua con gas (sparkling water, which I found in the fridge). It’s SO quiet here. No car alarms. No sirens. No neighbors squabbling over possession of the remote control next door. Just birds tweeting, and horses neighing, and the wind rustling through palm fronds and the leaves of the olive tree beside me, its branches heavy with little round balls deepening from a pretty pale green to a deep brown color… totally bitter and indigestible (yes, I tasted one. Who knew they had to be marinated or whatever? The pomegranates from the tree at the other end of the pool are MUCH better).
In the air is the crisp, clean smell of chlorine from the pool, the scent of freshly cut hay from the field beyond the hedge, and… OK, well, the smell of horse manure drifting over from the Centro Ippico, but it’s very faint.
And off in the distance, atop a deep green rise that seems to come from the middle of the hay field, sits another fortified city, topped by a castle… Castelfidardo, where we’re going to go today to apply for Mark and Holly’s marriage license. If they can pry me from this spot. Which I sincerely doubt. Because the only way I’m moving is if—
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
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e-mails
To: Listserv >
Fr: Peter Schumacher >
Re: JANE HARRIS
Greetings! I have served breakfast to JANE HARRIS! I surprise her very much with the brotchen and hot coffee! She had just had her morning swimming when I come into yard with tray prepared by my grandmother! She scream very big!
But then she sees it is only me, and I put down tray beside her pool couch, and we have the coffee and brotchen. I bring also the Nutella, and JANE HARRIS likes this very much! We have nice chat, and I find out IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH:
JANE HARRIS HAS DEVELOPMENT DEAL WITH CARTOON NETWORK FOR WUNDERCAT ANIMATED SERIES!!!!!!!!!!
Yes!!! Perhaps we will be seeing Wundercat on television soon!
I am very interested as JANE HARRIS is telling this to me, but then one of the mans she is traveling with (don’t worry, boys, he is NOT her boyfriend. In the words of JANE HARRIS: “HIM? MY BOYFRIEND? NO WAY!”) Cal Longdon comes out of the house and says he wants to speak alone with JANE HARRIS.
So I start to go, but JANE HARRIS says “No, Peter, you stay.” And so I give Cal Longdon some brotchen and coffee too and we three sit and talk about politics for very long time before daughter of the sister of the man who owns the villa where JANE HARRIS is staying comes out and says they must go to Castelfidardo.
I am thinking I will ride on my motorino to Castelfidardo also today to see if JANE HARRIS needs anything more.
That is the report from WUNDERCAT CENTRAL! More news as it is received!
Over and out,
Peter, #1 Wundercat Fan Of All Time
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To: Peter Schumacher >
Fr: Martin Schneck < [email protected]>
Re: JANE HARRIS
How is JANE HARRIS looking in a bathing suit? You did not tell!
Martin Schneck
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To: Claire Harris
Fr: Jane Harris >
Re: Hi!
Right now we’re in the car on the way to Castelfidardo to apply for Mark and Holly’s marriage license!
It’s so exciting!
It’s also sooooooooooo beautiful here. Even the BILLBOARDS seem more attractive than they do back home. They’re definitely more interesting… even though I can’t read them.