Forrest Gump

"But I'll be in all sorts of trouble," I says.

"We take the twenty grand an blow this town," Dan say. "You know what we can do with twenty grand? We can start one hell of a srimp business an have a pile left over for ourselves. I'm thinkin maybe it's time to get out of this rasslin stuff anyway."

Well, I'm thinkin Dan is the manager, an also that Je

"What you think?" Dan says.

"Okay," I say. "Okay."

The day come for me to rassle The Professor. The bout is to be helt up at Fort Wayne, an Mike come by to pick us up an is blowin the horn outside, an I axed Je

"I ain't goin," she say. "I'll watch it on television."

"But you got to go," I says, an then I axed Dan to splain why.

Dan tole Je

"Neither of us can drive," he say, "an we go

"Well, I ain't havin nothin to do with a deal like that," Je

"But it's twenty grand," I says.

"Yeah, an it's dishonest too," she says.

"Well, it's dishonest what he's been doin all the time," Dan says, "wi

"I ain't go

"You fellers oughta be ashamed of yourselfs," Je

"You won't be so high-falutin when we come back with twenty thousan smackeroos in our pocket," Dan says.

Anyhow, off we go.

On the ride to Fort Wayne, I ain't sayin much on account of I'm kinda embarrassed bout what I'm fixin to do to ole Mike. He ain't treated me so badly, but on the other han, as Dan have splained, I has made a lot of money for him too, so it go

We get to the arena an the first bout is already on—Juno the Giant is gettin the hell kicked out of him by The Fairy. An nex up is a tag team match between lady midgets. We gone on into the dressin room an I put on my diapers an dunce cap. Dan, he get somebody to dial the number of the taxicab company an arrange for a cab to be there outside with its motor ru

They beat on my door an it's time to go on. Me an The Professor is the feature bout of the evenin.

He is already there in the ring when I come out. The Professor is a little wiry guy with a beard an wearin spectacles an he have on a black robe an morter-board hat. Damn if he don't look like a professor at that. I decided right then to make him eat that hat.

Well, I climb on up in the ring an the a

At this, they is so much booin an cheerin that it is impossible to say if the crowd is happy or angry. It don't matter nohow, cause then the bell ring an the match is on.

The Professor has taken off his robe, glasses, an the morter-board hat an is circlin me, shakin his finger at me like I'm bein scolded. I be tryin to grap a holt of him, but ever time, he jump out of the way an keep shakin his finger. This go on for a minute or two an then he make a mistake. He run aroun behin me an try to kick me in the ass, but I done snatched a holt of him by the arm an slung him into the ropes. He come boundin off the ropes like a slingshot ball an as he go past me I trip him up an was bout to pounce on him with the Bellybuster maneuver, but he done scrambled out of the way to his corner an when I look up, he is got a big ole ruler in his han.

He be whoppin the ruler in his palm like he go

Dan is there, hollerin for me to finish him off, but it ain't no easy thing with ants in your pants. Anyhow, the bell rung an that was the end of the roun an I go on back to my corner an Dan be tryin to get the ants out.

"That was a dirty trick," I say.

"Just finish him," Dan says, "we can't afford no screwups."

The Professor come out for the secont round an be makin faces at me. Then he get close enough for me to snatch him up an I lifted him over my head an begun doin the Airplane Spin.

I spi

Trouble is, the Airplane Spin have taken its toll on me too. Everthin spi

I am almost recovered from the spi

I started tryin to wriggle out, but The Professor be ru

Then he saunter over to his corner an get a big ole book—look like a dictionary—an come back an take another bow. An then he crack me on the head with the book. Ain't nothin I can do. He must of cracked me ten or twelve times before I gone down. I am helpless an I am hearin everbody cheer as The Professor set on my shoulders an pin me—an win the match.

Mike an Dan, they come in the ring an unraveled the yarn off me an heped me up.

"Terrific!" Mike say, "Just terrific! I couldn't of pla

"Oh shut up," Dan say. An then he turn to me. "Well," he say, "this is a fine state of affairs—gettin yoursef outsmarted by The Professor."

I ain't sayin nothin. I am miserable. Everthin is lost an the one thing I know for sure is that I ain't go

We didn't need the getaway cab after that, so Dan an me rode back to Indianapolis with Mike. All the drive back, he be sayin how great it was that I lost to The Professor that way, an how nex time I go

When he pull up in front of the apartment, Mike reach back an han Dan a envelope with the two thousan dollars he was go

"Don't take it," I says.

"What?" says Mike.

"Listen," I say. "I got to tell you somethin."

Dan cut in. "What he wants to say is, he ain't go

"You kiddin?" Mike say.

"Ain't kiddin," says Dan.

"Well how come?" Mike axed. "What's wrong, Forrest?"

Before I could say anythin, Dan say, "He don't want to talk about it now."

"Well," says Mike, "I understan, I guess. You go get a good night's sleep. I'll be back first thing in the mornin an we can talk bout it, okay?"