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„That’s so sweet of you.“ The amazed look on her face made Charlotte self-conscious. What? She couldn’t be sweet? „But I’d much rather get a sitter and take you to lunch, if you’re interested, that is. I’ve always wanted to get to know you better. I’m not that much older than you, I don’t think. But you looked so busy all the time with your business and your father… we barely had time for a ‘howdy’ and a ‘how’s things’ here in the hallway. I’m glad to see you have more time for yourself now.“
Being available was three-quarters of the cure for loneliness. Who knew it was so easy? The first time the front-desk attendant at the gym said, „Good morning, Charlotte,“
before she’d even had a chance to sign in, it was… a nice surprise. She was quick and enthusiastic when Sidney and Sue invited her shopping – she was a much better shopper now than the last time they’d ventured out together.
„When was the last time the three of us shopped like this?“ Sidney asked, scooting – exhausted – into a high-backed booth in the restaurant where they’d stopped for a late lunch and a drink.
„So long ago I don’t remember.“ Charlotte remembered perfectly.
„Well, I remember,“ said Sue, her brown shoulder-length bob swinging as she got in on the other side. „It was my wedding. We were looking for bridesmaids’ shoes, and my cousin Loretta, who’s always trying to fart higher than her ass, was with us and would not even try on a shoe that didn’t have a four-inch heel and a three-figure price tag, and you said you couldn’t walk in four-inch heels, three was your limit, and Charlotte kept wandering around muttering ‘$250 for a pair of purple shoes that can’t be deducted.’“
„Wait.“ Sidney picked up a menu but didn’t look at it. „Speaking of farting, wasn’t that the same day you found out that weird aunt of your mother’s, who you didn’t want to invite to your wedding because of her toxic flatulence problem, was, according to your mother, supposedly too sick to come to the wedding, so she insisted that it was safe to send her an invitation but who was, however, feeling very well and would be attending with her son, who, by the way, could power a windmill with his own noxious gases?“
„Yesss! I forgot about that. I remember I sent you off on your own and told you to pick out whatever shoes you wanted, I’d had it. And not only did Charlotte come back in about fifteen minutes, but she’d bought a pair of black loafers and told me no one would see them under her dress. I thought my head would explode.“ They all laughed. „I vowed then and there that cars would fly before we shopped together again.“
Charlotte felt her cheeks burning and covered them with her hands. „I was such a dork. Why did you put up with me for so long?“
„You mean aside from the fact that you were the sweetest, most gentle and giving dork at McClure Middle School? I don’t know. Do you, Sidney?“
Sidney shrugged and glanced down at her menu, then up with a droll expression to keep the moment light. „Maybe because friends don’t give up on each other. You haven’t given up on me actually putting money in that savings account you made me open, have you?“
„No, but that reminds me – “
„NO!“ they said together. „No job talk today.“
„And no kid talk. This is my afternoon off.“ Sue tried to sound firm but there was nothing she liked better than talking about her children.
„Okay, then how about some juicy information on Mrs. Doctor Lacey Booth that I got directly from her aunt?“
Their ears twitched.
It wasn’t hard keeping busy, stuffing her head with the hundreds of things she wanted to do and see. There were moments, of course, when her mind wandered – she glanced up once and saw Mel sitting in a chair across the room, then again leaning against a fence up the street and again riding the down escalator as she rode up. He smiled and gave a little wave; she smiled back, felt the pang of desire and looked away… I think that I shall never see…
She finally went out with Henry Chancellor’s wife’s uncle’s sister’s nephew, or whatever, Axel Burton, who was quite possibly the nicest man to ever leave Chicago. They liked each other very much but… there was no spark, no mating of souls, no magic.
He was, however, interested in scuba diving, so they took lessons together, driving all the way over to Alki Beach in West Seattle three evenings a week.
„We were crazy doing mis in November.“ Her teeth chattered as she pulled on her thick down jacket, apple green with pink and yellow piping. They were past the pool work and actually swimming off Alki Beach in wet suits, which kept them fairly warm, until they took them off. „Why didn’t we wait until summer?“
„Umm.“ He shivered, his knit cap pulled down over his wet hair. „The fewer off-season students get more one-on-one with the instructor? More underwater time? We were too eager? We’re nuts?“
„That’s the one.“ She stuffed her damp hair inside her cap and gave him a calculating look. He was only a little taller than she, maybe six foot, a nice, plain-looking man in his early thirties, with true brown hair and kind green eyes behind frameless glasses.
„What?“ He held the door open for her.
„Well, don’t take this wrong, it doesn’t mean anything except that I don’t know that many single people, but…“ As she passed through the door, she saw Mel leaning against a pickup truck on the other side of the parking lot. He held out both hands as if to say it wasn’t his fault she was missing him. She turned to Axel. „Well, I was thinking of trying speed dating and I didn’t want to go alone. I thought if we went together it might not be…“
„As humiliating?“
„No, not humiliating just… less awkward. Who knows who we’ll meet? And if you do meet someone nice and want to go out afterward for coffee or, you know, whatever, I can take a taxi home. Or vice versa.“
It could happen.
They tried it twice to be fair, and to be fair, they didn’t want to try it again.
She spent Thanksgiving with Sue Butterfield and her young family, her parents and her grandfather, who fell asleep during dessert and tipped whipped cream and pumpkin pie into his lap.
Christmas Eve she and Mrs. Kludinski made reservations and ate di
The mid-winter months were bleak and lonely. It rained nearly every day, turned to ice at night. She had only to look out her window to see Mel looking entirely pimplike, but warm, in a full-length red-fox fur – faux, naturally. Generally he sat on the bus bench on the corner, reading a newspaper until he felt her looking at him. He’d look up askance; did she want him to come up?
I think that I shall never see…
One night, he knocked on her door.
„You can’t come in, Mel; you know that,“ she said, watching him through the peephole, enjoying the sight of him, too much.
„Just for tonight. I’ll leave in the morning.“
„I’m going to Cancun.“ This was news to her, too.
„ Mexico?“
„A winter vacation before tax season hits full bloom.“ She wasn’t used to living spontaneously; her hands were shaking. „I can take in the beach or go to the Mayan ruins. Boating. Oh, scuba!“ Her enthusiasm soared. „Warm water scuba.“
She was gone for ten days.
She was sorry to see him waiting at the airport for her, but she walked right by him, and for the rest of February, all of March and the first fifteen days of April, she was too busy to look more than two feet in front of her.
And then it was spring again.