Bad News

“Little Feather,” Guilderpost answered, torn between anger and embarrassment, “we can discuss this privately.”

Kelp said, “You know, Little Feather, I think you people need us, wouldn’t you say so?”

“You may be right,” Little Feather said, and the motor home door opened and Irwin stuck his head out to say, “All clear.” Then he hurtled out among them, and it became obvious he’d done that because Tiny had given him a slight shove, and now there was Tiny in the doorway, saying, “They had a couple cute things set up. The electric wire to the toilet, I liked that one.”

Kelp shook his head at Guilderpost, saying, “Fitzroy, you disappoint me.”

“That was Irwin’s idea,” Guilderpost told him. “All those booby traps were his idea.”

Little Feather said, “And guess who turned out to be the boobies.”

“All right, all right,” Irwin said. His nose appeared to be out of joint. “He’s happy now, so let’s go in.”

“Nah, let’s not,” Tiny said. “That’s a very small living room you got there.”

“Especially for you, I guess,” Little Feather said.

“Right.” Coming out to join the rest, Tiny said, “So why don’t we just stand here in the sunlight and talk this over? But first, Kelp, you and, uh, John, whyn’t you put your guns on the ground by your feet?”

“Okay,” Dortmunder said, and he and Kelp took out their pistols and put them on the concrete while Tiny said, “And you three, same thing.”

Guilderpost said, “Why do you assume we’re armed?”

Irwin was already taking two pistols out of his pockets, putting them on the ground as he said, “Oh, come on, Fitzroy, stop playing the fool.”

So Guilderpost shrugged and brought out a ca

“It’ll get better,” Tiny assured him.

Little Feather’s pistol turned out to be a chrome Star .22 in a thigh holster. She looked both fetching and lethal as she drew it, and then she stood holding it, giving Tiny a speculative look.

He raised part of an eyebrow at her. “Yeah?”

“I’m wondering,” she said. “If I was to shoot Andy there, would you really blow yourself up?”

“You wouldn’t shoot me,” he pointed out, “so it seems to me all you’d be doing was buy yourself some trouble.”

“Very weird,” she decided, and did a nice Bu

Kelp said, “Start off anytime, guys.”

Guilderpost said, “Shouldn’t you, uh, Tiny, shouldn’t you put the pin back in now?”

“Nah, I’m fine here,” Tiny told him.

Irwin said, “But what if you forget, or stumble, or whatever?”

“Tough on us all, I guess,” Tiny said. “Little Feather, you still got the pin?”

She held it up, a round copper-colored ring in the sunlight.

“Good,” Tiny said, and turned to Guilderpost to say, “Start here.”

“Very well,” Guilderpost said. “But I must say I find that hand grenade distracting.”

“I’ll think about the hand grenade,” Tiny promised, “you think about your story.”

“Before the story,” Little Feather said, “there’s one thing we got to get straight.”

“Money,” Dortmunder said.

“You read my mind,” Little Feather told him. Gesturing at Guilderpost and Irwin, she said, “I’m hooked up with these two, and it’s a third each, and each of us puts in a third, one way or another. Guilderpost thought it up, Irwin’s Mr. Science, and I’m the goods. Now you birds come along, and I can see where maybe you’re useful, but I’m not doing any more shares. I’m not into this for a sixth.” Nodding at Tiny, she said, “You’re go

Dortmunder said, “So you have a different idea.”

“An offer,” Little Feather said. “A cash buyout, once it’s over.”

Kelp said, “But nothing in front.”

Irwin, sounding aggrieved, said, “We’re not getting anything in front!”

“Well, that’s you,” Kelp told him.

Guilderpost explained. “We’re operating, I’m sorry to say, with a rather tight budget.”

Dortmunder said, “So make your offer.”

Tiny said, “But don’t make the first offer too small, you don’t wa

Little Feather and Guilderpost and Irwin looked at one another, apparently none of them wanting to say the number they must have earlier agreed on, and then Little Feather shook her head and said, “We’ve got to offer more.”

Guilderpost nodded. “I’m afraid you’re right.”

“We have to add,” Little Feather said, “a zero.”

Irwin, still aggrieved, cried, “That much?”

“So you’re going,” Dortmunder said, “from ten grand to a hundred. Ten grand would have been an insult, I’m glad you didn’t say it.”

Little Feather said, “But I won’t go above a hundred. It isn’t a negotiation. We become partners, here today, or we become enemies.” Smiling at Tiny, she said, “The old Indian lore I heard says, if there’s go

Tiny nodded. “What does the lore say if you’re lying on it?”

Guilderpost said, “Now, we three have a contract between us—”

“Among,” Little Feather said.

“You’re kidding,” Kelp said to Guilderpost.

Guilderpost seemed a little pompous, a little defensive. “It just seemed a good idea to have our understanding in writing.”

Dortmunder said, “It has never seemed to me a good idea to put anything in writing.”

Guilderpost said, “So you don’t feel you need a contract.”

“If we ever got a question,” Dortmunder assured him, “we’ll send Tiny to ask it.”

“We know what we’re talking about,” Kelp said, and offered his cheerful smile to Little Feather. “When you get yours, we each get a hundred K.”

“Right,” she said.

Kelp turned his smile on Guilderpost. “And now,” he said, “the long-awaited story.”

Guilderpost nodded. “Yes. Fine. But first, you’ll have to bear with a brief history lesson.”

“I love school,” Kelp said.

“In school,” Guilderpost said, “do you remember the French and Indian War?”

“Remind me,” Kelp said.

“Essentially,” Guilderpost reminded him, “it’s how France lost Canada. French and English settlers fought one another from 1754 to 1760. It seemed a very big thing to the people here, but it was actually just a small part of the conflict called the Seven Years War, involving virtually all of the European powers, fought in Europe and America and India. In the American part of the war, both sides made alliances with Indian tribes that did much of the actual fighting. In northern New York State, there were three small tribes that had always been subjugated by the five larger and more powerful tribes of the Iroquois Nation. These three tribes, to free themselves from the Iroquois, made treaties with the English settlers and fought for them, and then renewed the alliance a few years later, fighting for the colonists against the British in the American Revolution. The three tribes were given land in New York State, near the Canadian border, to be their sovereign state forever, but of course the white men reneged on all such treaties, and soon the logging interests moved in, fought the tribes, defeated them, and took over the land.”

Irwin said, “There’s so much wickedness in this world, you know what I mean?”

“We know,” Kelp assured him.

Dortmunder said, “Little Feather’s an Indian.”

“We’re coming to that, John,” Guilderpost said. “In the last thirty years or so, the American courts have been redressing many of those wrongs done so long ago. Indians are getting their sacred tribal lands back—”

Dortmunder said, “And putting casinos on them.”

Irwin said, “Yeah, sacred tribal lands and casinos just seem to go together naturally, like apple pie and ice cream.”

“The tribes have their own sovereignty,” Guilderpost said, “their own laws, and casinos are extremely lucrative.”