Niubi! The Real Chinese You Were Never Taught in School

MM

Stands for 妹妹 meìmeì (may may), which literally means “little sister” but can generally refer to a girl or young woman. Use carefully, however, as it can also refer more euphemistically to a woman’s own “little sister”; i.e., her vagina. Can also stand for 美眉 mĕiméi (may may), which derives from meìmeì but is written with different characters that instead mean “beautiful eyebrow” and is slang for a pretty girl. Along these same lines, you’ll also see abbreviations for all the other types of people you might be talking about online: LG for 老公 lǎogōng (laow gohng), “husband”; LP for 老婆 lǎopó (laow pwuh), “wife”; GG for 哥哥 gēge (guh guh), “older brother” or any older male; JM or JMs for 姐妹们 jiěmèimen (jyih may men), “sisters”; and DD for 弟弟 dìdi (dee dee), “little brother” or any younger male. However, MM is the most common abbreviation you’ll see, given that the overwhelming majority of Chinese Internet users are male and, of course, endlessly preoccupied with MM.

ML

Make love.

PMP

Stands for 拍马屁 paīmǎpì (pie mah pee), literally “pat the horse’s butt,” and means to flatter or suck up to someone.

汗语 hànyǔ (hahn yee)

Chat room jargon, Internet slang. A play on 汉语 hànyǔ (hahn yee), which is pronounced exactly the same but means Mandarin Chinese. The only difference is that 汉 hàn (hahn) is replaced with the character for “sweat,” 汗 hàn (hahn), which is itself online jargon for feeling embarrassed, shocked, or frustrated.

51.com

“I want” dot com. “Five one” in Chinese is wǔ yào (wooh yow-which might not make sense if you’re familiar with the Taiwanese pronunciation, “one” is usually pronounced yī (eee), but mainland Chinese usually say yào instead of yī when saying the number out loud). Wǔ yào sounds a bit like the Chinese for “I want,” 我要 wŏ yào (wuh yow). So many Chinese URLs begin with the number fifty-one. Hence there is a job-search site with the URL www.51job.com (i.e., I want a job), and a credit card consultancy with the URL www.51credit.com (I want credit).

88

Bye-bye. The number eight in Chinese is bā (bah), which sounds to Chinese ears like the English word “bye.” Another variation is 886, bā bā liù (bah bah lew-the last syllable rhymes with “ew”), and is similar to 拜拜喽 bàibài lóu (bye bye low), which also means “bye-bye.”

555

The sound of crying. The number five in Chinese is wǔ (wooh), which sounds like 呜 wū (ooh), an onomatopoeic word for humming or crying. Thus 呜呜呜, or 555, represents the sound of someone crying. Insert as many fives as you deem necessary to adequately represent the volume of your tears.

3Q

Thank you. The number three in Chinese is sān (sahn) and combined with the English letter Q (sahn-cue) sounds to Chinese ears like “thank you.”

3X

Thank you. X refers to 谢谢 xièxiè (shih shih), which is the Chinese for “thank you.”

NoQ

You’re welcome. It doesn’t make sense aurally but is based on 3Q (above), meaning “thank you.”

520

I love you. “Five two zero” in Chinese is wǔ èr líng (oo er ling), which sounds somewhat similar to 我爱你 wǒ ài nǐ (wuh aye nee), the Chinese for “I love you.”

1314

Means “forever” because the pronunciation of “one three one four” in Chinese, yī sān shí sì (ee sahn ee sih), sounds similar to 一生一世 yīshēng yī shì (ee shung ee shih), which means “forever.” Most commonly used in expressions of love, in particular 5201314; i.e., “I love you forever” (see above).

8147

Stands for 不要生气 bù yào shēngqì (boo yow shung chee), “don’t be angry,” because they sound similar-as do the following:

360

想念你 Xiǎngniàn nǐ (shyahng nyi