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Chapter IX
Je
She felt better with the bathroom door securely locked, but when she looked in the glass her reflection shocked her. There was no colour in it, no colour at all. And she looked older. She sponged vigorously, and didn’t let herself think, and when she looked again she looked more as she usually did. Then as she stood there looking into the glass the colour faded and she was pale again.
She came out of the bathroom, and met Carter and the children.
“Oh, do you know, Je
“It’s sweet!” said Meg. “It really is! Its name is Patrick! Its fur is as long as this!” She showed the length with her fingers. “And it purred at me! It didn’t purr at Joyce! She didn’t hold it comfortably, and she kissed it! Kittens don’t like being kissed!”
“They do!” said Joyce. “They like it awfully!”
“Then why didn’t Patrick purr for you? Oh, Je
Carter broke in.
“Now Meg and Joyce, you come along and get your things off quick. The mistress isn’t best pleased with us being so late as it is. And it’s not the time to ask about cats and suchlike, I can tell you that.”
She swept them into their bedroom and went on talking.
“They won’t want anything. Such teas as they ate I never saw! Anyone would think they’d been starved all the week! I’ll take my own things off if you’ll see them to bed. And hurry, you two, or your mother will be coming up.”
She vanished, and Je
“Please God, bless Mother, and Mac, and Alan, and make me a good girl.”
Joyce on the other side of Je
“And make me a good girl.”
“And bless Na
And Joyce repeating it,
“And bless Na
Je
“Into bed with you both! Good-night, Meg-good-night, Joyce. Now, Je
Je
Je
Mrs. Forbes had not waited for her. She had gone into her own room across the passage and shut the door.
Je
She had got to do it-just this once more. And then she would get away from them all and never see them again. The thought of the little girls tugged at her heart. They would forget her. She thought of the people she had known when she was their age. Not Garsty, because Garsty went on. Garsty would never become a shadow in a distant place. Garsty was for now and for always. She thought about old Mrs. Pe
She wanted to get right away, and she wanted to get away at once, and to do that she must go down and play a part. Something in her said, “I can’t. I can’t-I can’t do it.” And something else said, “I must.” She listened to that voice.
When she came into the drawing-room Mac was there. He was reading the paper, but he looked up, smiled his charming smile, and said,
“Well, what have you been doing with yourself, Je
The colour whipped into Je
Je
She said, “Oh nothing,” in as careless a tone as she could manage. To her horror, she felt the colour run up to her face. It burned there and then slowly, slowly retreated.
Mac put down his paper and got up and came over to her.
“Why, Je
Je
“What an imagination you have!”
“Have I?”
He laughed, too, and came to stand by the fireplace on the opposite side. He was so near that he could have touched her if he had stretched out his hand.
The feeling that he was so close came upon Je
She must, she must endure it. Just for this once. Until she could get away. For this one evening she must play her part. And then-oh, then she would be done with them all.
He was speaking now, looking down at her with the smile she had thought a loving one.
“You’re very fine tonight.”
“Am I? I don’t often dine with you, do I? This is the only evening dress I’ve got.”
“And very nice, too. A little old for you perhaps, but you’re young enough to take that as a compliment. It’s quite a sincere one.” He bent nearer. “Je