Every Secret Thing

So a Barbie was bad enough. But this was a black Barbie, which was weird, because black Barbies were for black girls, they just were, and not because of prejudice, which the St. William of York girls knew was wrong. Maybe if a girl had, say, ten Barbies, one of them would be black, because then a girl could really branch out, have an apartment house full of Barbies. Maddy, in fact, was just the kind of girl who might have her own Barbie town. Her parents were that rich. So, although she was too old and the Barbie was black, that wasn’t the worst thing.

No, the worst thing was that it was a Holiday Barbie. In July.

She wore a red gown and a fur-trimmed cape, and even Alice, who was sometimes slow to understand what other girls seemed born knowing, realized the doll was some Toys for Tots leftover. Ro

“Very pretty,” Maddy’s mother said, as if she meant it. “Say, ‘Thank you.’ ”

“Thank you, Ro

Ro

“It’s a stupid nigger doll,” Ro

“Ro

“I’m not going into the baby pool,” Ro

Twelve little girls looked at their toenails beneath the table, for almost all of them had walked through the water at least once that day. Alice ’s toenails were robin’s egg blue, which matched her blue jellies. Wendy had pink polish. Ro

“Ro

But Maddy’s mother cried out, louder than any kindergarten baby, as if the blow really stung, and the girls screamed as if they had just seen a car come crashing over the fence of the wading pool area.

“You hit my mom,” Maddy said. “Ohmigod, she hit my mom.”

“I’m sorry,” Ro

“You hit my mom. You hit a grown-up.” The other girls’ voices bubbled up, shrill and shocked, but a little excited, too.

When Maddy’s mother spoke, it was in that quiet, scary tone that adults use so effectively: “I think we should call someone to take you home.”

“I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean to fight. It was an accident. You touched me first.”

“You must be tired from all the sun and excitement. Is there someone at your house I can call to come get you?” Cell phone out, at the ready.

“I came with Alice,” Ro

Alice was caught off guard, unprepared to wiggle out of this. Yes, technically she was supposed to go home with Ro

“Very well,” Maddy’s mother said. “Actually, I feel better about two of you walking. Now, you are going to your aunt’s house, right? On this side of Edmondson? Good.”

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t well and it wasn’t fair. Alice peeled herself away from the bench, grabbed her towel and her shoes. Wendy’s sympathetic glance only made it worse. Ro

And so they went, leaving those two sets of wet footprints, one slightly ahead of the other, together yet apart, linked by the sheer unfairness of things, the usual daily accidents. Up the stairs, across the vast black parking lot, up the long hill to Edmondson, where Ro

“I thought we were going to your aunt’s house,” Alice dared to say, and Ro

“My aunt works,” she said. “In the summer she works at the crab house on Route 40. Besides, she doesn’t like me to come around right now. She and my dad are in a fight about something.”

Crossing Edmondson was easy, as it turned out, the Walk sign staying white their entire way across the broad, busy street. Alice knew they were breaking a rule, but it was exhilarating, a reminder of the new things that would come with leaving St. William and going to middle school. Her mother had promised she could wear makeup-well, lipstick-and get her hair cut at a salon, instead of trims in the kitchen. Even though school was a long way away, Alice began to think longingly of the trip to Office Depot to buy supplies. And clothes-she would need clothes if she wasn’t wearing a uniform every day.

Once safely across Edmondson, Alice had assumed they would walk west to the jagged leg of Nottingham, where they both lived. But Ro

They were halfway down Hillside, the grandest of all the big-house streets, when Ro

It was a baby carriage, sun sparking off its silver handles, perched at the top of the stairs.

“The metal must be hot, sitting in the sun like that.”

She seemed to expect an answer, so Alice said: “And it’s too close to the stairs. It could tumble right down.”

“Just roll right down.”

“Unless the brake is on,” Alice pointed out.

“Even if the brake is on, that’s not right,” Ro

“Her mother is probably right inside.”

Ro

“Not even for a minute,” Ro