Every Secret Thing

Laura Lippman

Every Secret Thing

For Vicky Bijur and Carrie Feron

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

– ECCLESIASTES 12: 13-14

July 17, Seven Years Ago

Prologue

They were barefoot when they were sent home, their dripping feet leaving prints that evaporated almost instantly, as if they had never been there at all. Had it been possible to retrace their literal steps, as so many would try to do in the days that followed, the trail would have led from the wading pool area, where the party tables had been staked out with aqua Mylar balloons, past the snack bar, up the stairs, and to the edge of the parking lot. And each print would have been smaller than the last-losing first the toes, then the narrow co

At the curb, they sat to put on their shoes-sneakers for Ro

The parking lot’s macadam shone black, reminding Alice of a bubbling, boiling sea in a fairy tale, of a landscape that could vaporize upon touch.

“It’s like the desert in Oz,” she said, thinking of the hand-me-down books rescued from her mother’s childhood.

“There’s no desert in Oz,” Ro

“Yes, there is, later, in the other books, there’s this desert that burns you up-”

“It’s not a book,” Ro

Alice decided not to contradict her, although Ro

But Ro

“I should call your mothers,” Maddy’s mom had fretted, even as she banished them from the party, from the pool. “You shouldn’t cross Edmondson Avenue alone.”

“I’m allowed,” Ro

Then, with a defiant look around at the other girls, their faces still stricken and shocked, Ro

Ro

“You’re blocking the set, Dad” was Ro

Maddy’s mother didn’t believe the story about Ro

Maddy’s mother licked her lips once, twice, removing some of the pink and most of the gloss, and finally said: “Very well.” Later she told everyone Ro

The hill to Edmondson was long and gradual. Alice did not know if there were really ten hills in this neighborhood called Ten Hills, but there were enough slopes to punish short legs. The two girls did not have cover-ups, so they knotted their towels high on their bodies, at the spot where breasts were supposed to hold them. But they had no breasts, only puffy bumps, which they had started keeping in bras just this year. So the towels kept slipping to the ground, tangling at their ankles. Ro

Alice ’s navy one-piece had a cutout of a daisy on her belly. Ro

“Vintage,” Alice ’s mother had said. “It’s vintage.”

Ro