Myth-Gotten Gains

"Fee?" The Purse's mouth moved, the drawstrings wagging like ski

Ersatz has agreed on a fee, I will pay it, but not a dust mote more. How much was it?"

I had a figure in mind, but I wasn't going to a

"This job ain't over yet," I said, sidestepping briskly. "You saw what just happened. I don't know how many more expenses I'm going to incur."

The Abbess seemed to read my mind.

"I see. You need to take Chin-Hwag with you. That is fine. I have all that I need. Take her. Now. It is all right."

"But the tax collector just took everything you had," I said. "You're flat broke."

Hylida gave me a serene smile.

"I managed to get along before she was here. I'll get along after she is gone. She has been a wonderful help."

"I have been glad to help one who is a true saint in her time," Chin-Hwag said. "You are so unselfish. Never did you ask for anything for yourself. I feel honored to have been in your service."

Hylida, very moved, came up to touch the Purse.

"You have been a good friend to me and my flock," she said. "Thank you for giving me confidence when my faith was waning."

"Your faith was what made me happy to contribute to your cause," Chin-Hwag said. "I wish more of my proteges were so generous with themselves and their efforts. How often people forget that material things are not what is truly important in this world."

The mutual-admiration society meeting was begi

thing working with Skeeve had done was to make me and all the other members of M.Y.T.H., Inc. very rich. Not disgustingly, mind-blowingly, fountains of gold rich, but plenty wealthy enough to buy the hotel if the waiter won't mix your drink the way you want it.

Hylida turned her brilliant gaze to me.

"I am sure you will be moderate in your requests of my dear friend. You strike me as a good person, in spite of your bluster. Take good care of her."

"Uh...thanks," I said. I accepted the Purse, who looked up at me skeptically. "We'll do the right thing with her."

"We shall all seek to live up to your example," Ersatz said, dipping his eyes. "Noble lady, I feel enriched for having met you."

"Your name is written in gold in my a

Buirnie let out a blast that drew attention to him. His personal spotlight set him in the most favorable light. "I'll write a song about you. All royalties will benefit your mission."

"Why, thank you," Hylida said. "That is very generous of you."

I started to say something sarcastic, but Tananda cleared her throat.

"Now, if there's no more interference," Asti said, "I have some people to feed. Do you mind making them all line up?"

Calypsa and I were both champing at the bit to get out, but every time I thought of interrupting Asti's soup line, I found I just couldn't do it. Hungry Toadies came from everywhere to join the line. Whatever the Cup was serving must have been pretty good, because none of them wanted to let go of her even when the bowl was empty.

"All right," the Cup said, faintly, as the last of the Toadies staggered out of the door into the night, replete. "Let's go."

"Right," I said. I glanced down at Chin-Hwag. 'You have any special implements, gizmos or containers you need us to pack?"

"No," she said cheerfully. "Just stick me in your knapsack anywhere. Not in your belt. I do not wish to be seen by the locals. It might tempt them too much. They have been good so far. As long as all of them are poor, then no one is above anyone else."

Buirnie let out a whistle of protest. "You deserve something, even a bag."

"Pah. I am already a bag. You don't put a bag in a bag. I don't need anything. I have lived in behind a broken plaster wall for thirty years."

"You can share my satchel," the Book said.

The embroidery rolled in his direction. "That's nice of you, but it doesn't look like there is much room."

"It is kind of snug," the Book agreed. "But I would be honored if you would like to room with me."

"Or me!" Buirnie said. "Why, I have lots of luggage. You can have whatever bag you choose!"

"No, thank you. I think I will fit in Aahz's purse."

"Fine," I said. "Let's just get out of here, all right?" I pulled open my poke and extracted the tax collector's ticket from it. "C'mon."

"Do not touch me with that," Chin-Hwag said, alarmed. "I am allergic to plastic."

"You have an allergy?" I asked in disbelief.

"There was no plastic in the time that I was made. Nor several other modern materials, either. That is why I have been glad to be here in this humble place."

"Suit yourself," I said, tossing the ticket into a trash barrel next to the food preparation area. "Everyone ready?"

A ragged Toady came ru

"The Majaranarana's men are coming back!"

Chapter 20

THE ARMED NEWTS came galumphing into the shabby square.

"There are a lot more of them than before," Tananda said, peering over my shoulder. She was holding Kelsa's bag and Buirnie's case. "We need to bamf out of here ASAP. Calypsa, hurry!"

"You!" Horunkus shouted, spotting me in the doorway. "Halt! Stay where you are!"

I sprang back into the mission, glancing around for Calypsa. She was there, but she'd picked up a few friends. A number of the tax collector's men had sneaked in through the holes in the wall. They surrounded the Walt with lowered spears. Another bunch had rounded up Hylida and her worshipers. Two of the armored Toadies came up to take Tananda by the elbows.

Horunkus swung down from his mount and swaggered over to me. I stuck the purse in my belt to disguise it.

"Nobody open your mouth," I warned them, hoping the Majaranarana's men hadn't noticed the animated drum stand or the flying light. "Let me do the talking." I gave the captain my most ingratiating smile. "Long time no see! What can we do for you, gentlemen?"

The blond bewigged official puffed himself up.

"I have come to collect the taxes. There are more fees you visitors must pay. Many more fees."

I had just about reached the limit of emotional range I could handle, almost being ashamed of being greedy in the face of the selflessness of this dimension's own Mother Teresa, and having my butt kicked around the block by the Hoard over my shortcomings, on top of already almost emptying my pockets for this blowhard. I leaned toward him, my teeth gritted.

"Forget it," I said. "I've already coughed up enough."

"Then we start confiscating things." He eyed the treasures distributed among us. "I think I'll start with that flute."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked. "Confiscate this!"

I hauled off and socked him in the jaw. Horunkus went flying, but he had brought plenty of backup.

Before I even dropped my fist, I had five hulking Toadies on my back. They were more unwieldy than heavy. I bent my knees and flipped two of them off over my head. They landed on their backs with a crash. Three to go.

Twenty or thirty of Hylida's flock jumped in and started hitting the fallen with bowls, rocks, anything they could pick up.

"Please!" the little Abbess cried, surrounded by four or five newtsmen, who were in turn surrounded by more worshipers trying to get her free. "Violence never solved anything!"