Страница 90 из 154
I couldn’t stop the sarcastic laugh falling from my lips. “Would men and women who have the money to traffic kids for their kink want to play in a cave?”
“Well...” He shrugged and took another drink. “I don’t know how that stuff works.”
I narrowed my eyes, tasting my highlighter pink water for the first time. The sugar went straight to my head, adding another level of pain to my constant headache. I put the bottle on the table and stretched out in my chair. “There’s money in flesh. The place I was kept was...nice.” I rubbed at the odd pang in my chest at the thought that Fables—for all its imprisonment and pain—was now nothing more than ash on a valley floor. “It had many rooms, lots of expensive decorations, and hundreds upon hundreds of books. All on different topics. Topics that saved my life.”
“How so?”
“I didn’t know a thing about how to grow my own food until I started reading about cultivation. I didn’t know how to fix generators or other household stuff before I found the section on engineering. If it wasn’t for those books, I wouldn’t have stayed alive on my own.”
“That’s a big statement.” Josh wrinkled his nose.
“It’s the truth. I know what marriage is because I read every single romance book in that place. Fantasy, reality, fiction, and nonfiction. I know what falling in love is. I know what sacrifice is. I know what’s expected of me. And I also know what a fucking gift I’ve been given by Gemma saying yes.”
“Yeah, well, it’s too soon for all of that.”
“Not for me.” I shook my head. “I told you...it’s inevitable.”
“We’ll see.”
“No,” I growled. “It’s happening. When I’m able to earn a living and control my past, I’m marrying her.”
“Whatever, buddy.”
I opened my mouth to argue back, my temper rising, but Gem and her mom came toward us. They both wore matching smiles, and I noticed the similarities between the two women. Just like in the home movie, Gem’s mother had an aura of perpetual sadness in her stare. Sadness that I was well acquainted with—loss and grief and tragedy.
I scooted higher in my chair as Gem smiled at me and took the seat on the opposite side of the table. Her mother sat next to her. When they’d settled, she looked at me. “Apart from the hug this morning and a hasty introduction, we haven’t met properly.” Gem’s mom waved at me from across the table. “I was just so happy to have my girl back that I forgot to go over the niceties, I’m afraid. I’m Margaret, but everyone calls me Maggie.”
I bowed my head, doing my best to come across as someone worthy of her daughter. “I’m Kassen.”
“Interesting name.”
I shared a look with Gem. “It’s from a book, actually.”
“Oh? Which one?”
“A book of fables.” Tension gathered in my muscles, and a flicker of whiteness covered my stare. I waited it out, breathing shallowly for a few seconds until the garden returned. Gem gave me an encouraging smile, and my memory stayed exactly where it should be.
I sighed and allowed myself to relax a bit more.
I’d taken another pill when no one was looking.
Every hour that passed, I felt less under the shadow of my pain and more in the sun of my possibility.
The doctor was right.
The micro blackouts would pass eventually, along with all the other mess inside my head. As long as I could stay with this family and continue loving Gem...I’d be fine. No matter who I was or what became of me.
* * * * *
“Ready?”
I looked up from the carpet picnic that Gem had produced. “You bought all of this?”
“Yep.” She leaned forward and started to open the lids of numerous containers. Scents of herbs, spices, and delicious food wafted up. “I went to just get Mexican, but then I figured, you probably haven’t had an array of different food and definitely not in a very long time, so I went a bit nuts.” She laughed.
I rubbed my temples. There was a sea of containers. How much did each one of those cost, and what did I owe her?
She’d mentioned she was popping out to grab something quick and easy, seeing as she hadn’t replaced anything in her fridge from her disappearance, and I’d let her go on her own because...well, I had a splitting headache from spending the day in people’s company. And I didn’t trust myself around a crowd yet, especially with the whiteness teasing me more and more as I grew tired.
I’d held my own with her brother and mother. I hadn’t had too many white moments and didn’t attack anyone, which was an improvement. I’d been on my best behavior even when Josh did his best to get a rise out of me. Her mother never asked about the broken TV or displaced frames from the walls, and not once did I catch her staring at me as if any moment she’d call the police and have me taken away from her daughter. Despite my scars, despite Gemma’s bruises...her mother accepted what we told her.
That we’d met. Fallen in love. And were building a life together.
And as much as it hurt to socialize—with my concussion still upsetting my balance and mental processes—they stayed for most of the day.
I’d done my best to stay normal.
Most of the time, I didn’t have to participate in conversations as Gem’s family chatted about her video cha
Occasionally, Maggie would direct the conversation toward me, but after my confessions to Josh, along with the strain of being around lots of energies after eleven years of nothing, I was content to just sit and listen.
By the time they left, I was ready to sag against the wall and fall asleep.
But it was sleep that still scared me, so I popped another pill, let Gem go and grab di
“Dig in.” Gemma handed me a plate. “There’s Indian—not too spicy. Italian—very creamy. Mexican—very zesty. Thai—very fragrant. And a cheeseburger and fries—very yummy.” She gri
“I-I don’t know what to say.”
She shrugged and spooned a helping of something orange and pungent onto her plate. “Don’t mention it. It’s an honor to experience things with you. It’s like I’m enjoying it for the first time too.” She took a bite of whatever she’d chosen. “Wow, that’s good.” Her eyes glazed over. “Butter chicken and jasmine rice. You know...if you ever end up in the wilderness again, you need to pack a rack of spices to liven up the bland vegetables.”
I shuddered at the thought of years’ worth of rationing and hunger pangs. “I think I’m done living off the land for now.”
“We can go buy some seeds in the next few days if you’d like? Start a veggie patch in the backyard if it will help keep your mind calm.”
I chose a hard shell thing which I thought was called a taco. Placing it on my plate, I caught her stu
“An outdoor kind of therapy.”
I nodded and took a bite. Crunchy lettuce, tasty meat, and a heaping of creamy avocado. I closed my eyes in bliss. “God, I’d forgotten how food can make everything better.”
She nodded, a sad look coming into her eyes. “Were you fed well...before you were on your own?”
I wolfed down the rest of the taco and helped myself to a flaky pastry thing from the Indian container. “Not really. We had more than enough to keep us alive, of course, but it was just bland necessity, not a reward.” I swallowed hard against a swift memory of the times we were given food as a reward. Normally, I would bury those recollections and shovel more earth onto the grave of who I’d been, but tonight, I forced myself to be fully open with Gem.
After everything she’d done for me...I wanted to be better now instead of months from now. I wanted her to be safe with me. I wanted her to be able to fall asleep in my arms and not wake up bruised. “We would earn a big roast meal if we had a...long day serving. If you were bleeding or a guest was particularly proud of what they did to you, they could request a meal as a treat for us.”
Gemma stopped eating and shivered. “God, I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged and took a bite of the pastry. Potato and carrot all seasoned in a curry paste. “It’s in the past.”
“And you’re here now.”
I nodded and held her hazel stare. “With you.”
“With me.”
A shy smile broke her gorgeous face. “And you asked me to marry you.”
“I did.” I smiled back, still shocked and awed, with a mix of terror and pride.
“That was a surprise.”
“To me as well.” I chuckled. “It hadn’t been in my head until that very moment, but I guess it’s been in my heart for a while.”
Her cheeks pinked. “How long?”
“Probably when I woke up and thought you were the genie from my fable.”
She froze, her mind scooting back through all the moments between us. “Wait...you were still heavily concussed. I didn’t think you remembered those interactions?” Her eyes darted to the side. “There were many sides of you that woke during those first few days. And each wasn’t aware of the other.”
I grabbed a bottle of water and sipped, leaning back against the couch. We’d pushed the coffee table away and cleaned up the mess of the TV, leaving a good-sized piece of carpet for our picnic. “I only remembered the other day. In the hospital, actually. You were sleeping across the room, and I was watching you. I had a vague daydream of you saying you’d bring me happiness and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. When I went back to sleep and woke the next morning, I remembered that it wasn’t a daydream but a memory.”
I moved closer to her and pulled her into me. “You said you’d grant me happiness, Gem. That you’d make my wish come true.” My lips touched hers. The moment I kissed her, the air in my lungs vanished, leaving me light-headed with a tortured groan. “And you’ve kept that promise.”
“Always.” She kissed me back.
I yanked her onto my lap, hoping I didn’t just wipe out a bunch of food.
Her hands landed in my hair, and we forgot all about eating.
My headache faded a little as she ran her fingers over my scalp and her tongue lashed against mine.
She swept me away from a day of being the best I could be, allowing me to let go for a moment, to be hers, to be free in her arms because there...I found true happiness.