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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I HAD TO BE honest.
This was hard. Really fucking hard.
Even after an intense release with Gemma on her knees and ass up over the couch—even with a sedative pill that my therapist claimed could knock out an elephant, I was borderline snapping. He’d actually given me the pills to help my nightmares, not to use when I had to stay awake. He’d claimed they were so strong, I’d be out like a light and have a dreamless, restorative sleep.
Ha.
I had news for him—it didn’t.
It barely took the edge off.
Then again, perhaps that was just me.
Storymaker had always said my adrenaline was a nasty thing, chewing up the wakey medicine he’d give us, refusing to allow Viagra to work very long, ensuring whatever means he used to keep me performing never truly worked.
The only thing that made me perform for a guest was knowing that if I didn’t, then he’d just get one of my family members to take my place.
Gemma squeezed my hand, her gaze catching mine with hesitation and encouragement. “How’re you doing?”
I nodded without a word.
I couldn’t speak at the moment. I was too busy grinding my teeth to dust as we stepped into the massive ballroom at some fancy hotel downtown and came face-to-face with more humans than I’d ever seen in my entire life.
Men dressed in similar tuxes to me, women dripping in jewels and couture. I recognized this crowd. I knew the difference between diamonds and sapphires because I’d felt the bite of precious stones as sadistic women slapped me. I could pick each perfume as they wafted around us, instantly knowing who wore Chanel, Dior, or Lancôme. The bottles of such scents had been hurled at my head if I didn’t crawl for them or bend over quick enough.
Men’s laughter cut through the hum of voices—deep chuckles that sent chills down my back, and loud guffaws that made my stomach threaten to vomit. I knew every laugh a man was capable of. I knew how they sounded when they came. I knew how they looked when they got off on violence toward a boy who couldn’t say no.
Fuck, what am I doing here?
Gemma tensed at my side as we came to a stop by the bar.
My gaze traveled to the countless bottles all lined up beneath the pretty lights, twinkling in welcome. My mouth went dry for a drink. I wanted to grab a bottle and upend it down my throat. Memories of Jareth came and went, leaving me with the taste of stale bourbon after our last drink together before he set my home on fire.
Christ, what would I give to be alone in my silent valley right now?
No, not alone.
With Gemma.
I wanted to be naked by the river with Gemma dozing beside me in the sun, bumblebees buzzing, leaves rustling. I wanted to go back to a simpler time when it was just us in nature instead of us in a writhing crowd full of egos, sins, and secrets.
“What can I get you?” a guy behind the bar asked, throwing a smile at Gemma.
My hackles rose. How dare he look at her. What was he thinking? Did he strip her naked in his mind without permission? Did he imagine doing things to her that I’d murder him for?
My rib cage threatened to puncture my lungs as pressure built. My head pounded with a cruel headache. This wasn’t a good idea. Being around this many people was not wise in my current condition.
But then...how was I ever supposed to heal? How was I supposed to move on? I already felt as if I was letting Gemma down by not going with her to the supermarket and other errands. How much longer would she let me hole up in her house and garden before she got frustrated with my lack of progress?
I need to do this.
Not just for other kids still trapped but for my own mental health.
I balled my free hand, squeezing Gemma’s a tad too tightly.
She threw me a look before she smiled at the barkeep. “We’re good for now, thanks.”
I sighed raggedly. I didn’t know if I was grateful she hadn’t gotten us a drink or disappointed.
“You say the word, Kas. I’m with you with whatever you need to do.” She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to my cheek. Her touch, her smell, her unconditional love helped quiet the rapidly building chaos inside me. She worked better than any pill or trick.
I reminded myself that I’d made a choice to get better ever since Jareth shoved me through a few roadblocks. I’d made a choice to step out of who I’d been and become someone I could actually like.
This would be good for me.
I’ll be fine. Completely, totally fi—
“Gemma! Oh, my God!”
My body locked down. My heart raced. I looked everywhere for a threat.
A petite woman with short, dark hair came bounding from the crowd, her gray dress floating around her knees and tied with a massive bow over her small breasts. “Gem!” Her squeal set my ears ringing and head pounding.
Every part of me wanted to run as the stranger stopped in front of us and practically threw herself at my girl. Her arms went around Gemma, and she bounced up and down, her hair swaying around her ears. “I’ve been trying to catch you at the climbing gym, but you go so late now I keep missing you.”
Gemma pulled away, holding me with one hand and grasping her friend’s with the other. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been going when it’s super quiet.”
“Are you okay? I heard about what happened. We’re so overdue a catch-up. Please don’t think I haven’t been around because I’m a bad friend. I just...I wanted to give you space to reacclimatize, you know? I mean...I don’t know. Was that stupid? I should’ve come over, right? Brought a casserole or something? I mean, what does one do for a friend who was lost in the forest for so long?”
Gem laughed under her breath. “It’s fine, Katie. It was good that you stayed away for a bit.”
Katie’s eyes landed on me. “Ah, yes...your new housemate.” She winked and nudged Gemma with her shoulder. “Only you could go into Mammoth Cave and come out with a man who’s been lost since he was a kid.”
She beamed a pearly-white smile in my direction. “Hi! I’m Katie. Katie Lona. I’m Gem’s friend. I want to say best friend, but we don’t really hang out unless we’re climbing, so I don’t know if we are. I would like to be, though! Hey, Gem.” She glanced at Gemma again with a wince. “If you’re ever successful in hooking me up with your brother, then maybe we could even be sisters! Squee!” She laughed at her own enthusiasm. “Anywho, you must be Kassen Sands. I heard about you on the news, and when YouTube contacted me to support Gem at this here shindig—seeing as I’ve been on her cha
My ears rang.
Speech?
What the fuck?
“What’s your speech about? Did they give you something scripted or will you wing it? Can’t wait to hear it!”
Was this girl always so manic?
She stepped toward me, holding out her arms as if to hug me hello. “Anyway, hi! I’m sure we’re go
I immediately backed the fuck up, crashing into the bar behind me. I didn’t do it consciously. For all my pep talks, sedatives, orgasms, and faulty belief that I wouldn’t act like a Fable slave tonight, it turned out, I still hadn’t gotten out of the habit.
Katie’s eyebrows shot up as she looked back and forth between Gem and me.
Awkwardness shot between us but was batted away a heartbeat later all thanks to Gemma. Placing herself in front of me like a shield, she grabbed Katie in a bear hug.
Katie immediately hugged her back again, swaying on the spot, infectious happiness in her eyes, my random collision into the bar forgotten.
“No touching my man, you succubus.” Gemma laughed as she let Katie go. “It’s all so new between us that I’m at that very possessive, jealous stage, and he’s off-limits to everyone, I’m afraid. Gotta ask permission ’cause I don’t share nicely.”
“Ha, you’re so fu
Fuck, you have no idea.
I swallowed and forced a smile. “It’s a tough life, but someone has to do it.”
She laughed.
Gemma caught my gaze, her eyes shouting Sorry!
I shook my head, forcing myself to make small talk even though I had no idea how. “So...you climb too?” I asked Katie while keeping Gem’s stare.
Gemma’s face fell a little, her worry for me evident. But I didn’t want to be a burden on her, so I winked and felt warmth spread in my chest. Warmth that came from so much fucking love inside me.
Who would’ve thought a day would come when I’d actually be happy at having a controlling master. So fucking odd that I relished being “owned” by her, and not once did I find it scary, painful, or wrong.
If anything, I found it liberating, freeing—the best goddamn feeling in the world. Some of my tension faded. I didn’t know if it was from the pill I’d swallowed or my trust in Gemma magnified. Just knowing she was here allowed me to relax, having seen firsthand what she was willing to do to stop people getting near me.
“Yep, I climb,” Katie said, grabbing a champagne flute from the bar. “Not nearly as good as Gem, but she’s helped me progress to the higher grades, so that’s cool.”
“She’s very good,” Gemma said, slotting herself into my side. “It’s not easy when you get to slabs and crack climbing.”
“Ah, there you are!” A man appeared from the crowd, old enough to have salt sprinkled in his dark hair and wrinkles by his blue eyes, but young enough to ring my warning bells. He seemed nice, but I’d stopped buying into appearances long ago. He could be a total sadist behind that suave smile.
“Ms. Ashford, pleasure to see you again.” The guy leaned into Gem, kissing both of her cheeks.
Sweat broke out down my spine.
Gemma flashed me a look before the man stole her attention.
“Guess we need to host another party for you soon,” he said proudly. “I noticed you’re closing in on three million subscribers on your cha
Anger curdled in my belly with how he kept a hand on Gem’s elbow.
She disengaged from the guy as quickly as she could, allowing me to suck in a much-needed breath. “Yes, it seems to have exploded a little, ever since Kas appeared on my live Q&A.”
The guy glanced my way. “Kas. The man of the hour.” He held out his hand, straight toward me like a sword. “Pleasure to meet you. It’s an honor that you could make it tonight. We have big dreams for a collaboration if you’re open to discussing.” His hand jerked a little, waiting for me to clasp it.
“Touch it, Kas. Touch it real good, and I might just touch you back.”
I choked as Wilby’s voice slipped through my head.