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“Pleas made while feeling extreme emotion,” he explained, ru
“How does it feel?”
“It’s hard to put into words.” His thumb swept over my elbow. “It feels like a calling—a pull that demands your attention. You feel it here.” He placed the palm of his other hand between my breasts. “The tugging sensation is very similar to what I feel when I am summoned to the Pillars. I imagine it’s sort of like your foresight demanding you do something.”
I drew a wavy line across his arm. “And what…what do you do then?”
“It is up to you.”
“Well, that’s not a helpful answer.”
He chuckled. “It’s the truth. You can…choose,” he said, and I rolled my eyes, “to answer or not.”
I turned my head to the side. “You do.”
A tight, icy smile appeared. “Only because anyone who summons a Primal of Death does so at their own risk.”
I remembered him telling me that before. Anyone summoning a Primal of Death usually wanted something terrible.
“There is no wrong or right way to handle it. Only what you’re comfortable with,” he added as my gaze lowered. “And you can change your mind at any time. You will, however, need to assign gods you trust to act on your behalf.”
I nodded, thinking things over. Obviously, the smartest thing to do would be to not answer the summons in person. That way, I could be more objective and…responsible.
And possibly prevent a Kolis-type situation down the road.
“It is rare for the summonses to reach us,” Ash added. “It does take the type of desperation most are lucky not to feel.” He looped his other arm around me. “I imagine you don’t have the highest opinion of my father after hearing that.”
“No, that’s not the case. I mean, I honestly don’t know what to think of any of that,” I admitted as I traced a circle on his forearm. “I can’t exactly judge him. It would be difficult to ignore the pleas of the mourning when you could do something to ease their pain.” Once more, I thought about my conversation with Aios. “And I was thinking earlier about how one decides when to grant life and when not to—like, obviously, the ability would not have been shared if the Ancients hadn’t wanted it to be used. And that can never be an easy decision to make.” I tipped my head back. “It was one I never wanted to be in charge of making.”
He kissed my brow. “Most would not want that responsibility.”
“I was also thinking that maybe how someone dies plays a role,” I told him. “Like if the death is u
“I don’t think my father ever figured out for sure when it was and wasn’t right to do so, but I don’t think you’ll struggle as much as he did.”
“Why is that?”
“Because you don’t have his ego.”
I snorted. “Really?”
“Let me rephrase that,” he said. “You don’t want to be worshipped.”
“You’re right about that, and also wrong.”
“You don’t want to be worshipped by anyone but me.”
“Exactly.”
He kissed my temple and then settled beside me. “Are you sure you’re ready to go in front of the people tomorrow?”
“I am.” My stomach tumbled a bit. “I mean, I’m nervous about it. I’ve never done anything like it. But I am ready.”
“Okay.” His fingers slid back down my arm. “I just don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.”
“I know.” His consideration reminded me of something. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you.”
“For what?”
I smiled. “For starting the meeting when I couldn’t.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that.”
“Yes, I do,” I insisted. “You stopped me from looking more unprepared than necessary.”
“Liessa,” Ash began.
“I’m being serious.” I placed my hands on his chest, feeling his cold skin beneath his shirt. “Look, I’m not being too hard on myself. I panicked a little, which I’m sure you picked up on.”
Ash raised a brow.
“You jumped in without making it a big deal,” I continued. “And that gave me time to find my footing.”
“I get what you’re saying, but I only did what I needed to do for you,” he replied, tucking the hair that had fallen forward behind my ear. “I only did what I should do. That is never something you need to thank me for.”
My lips pursed. “I’m still going to thank you when you do things you ‘should’ have done.”
“Figured,” he stated blandly.
“Perhaps instead of vocalizing my thanks, I could show you?” I suggested.
Eather brightened in his eyes. “As long as you’re still using your mouth, I’ll have no complaints.”
A small, shocked giggle snuck free. “Pervert.”
“Been called worse.”
Laughing, I clasped his cheeks and kissed him. His cool breath mingled with mine, creating an intoxicating blend. A rush of desire surged, sending a current of pulsing pleasure through me that seemed to travel from my mouth to every inch of my body.
“How much time do you think we have before supper?” I asked.
“Not nearly long enough to do what I want.” The smoky arousal in his voice caused muscles low in my stomach to curl. “Which is to strip you down and fuck you on this table.”
My entire body flushed at the prospect. “That’s too bad.”
“Yes.” His lips coasted over mine.
“But I do think we have time for an appetizer.”
Ash drew back, his brows furrowing as I slid off the table and lowered myself to my knees in front of him. “I’m not sure what you on your knees has to do with an appetizer.”
One side of my lips curled up as my i
“You’ll see,” I said, sliding my hands up the front of his thighs and then inward.
He sucked in a ragged breath as my palm dragged over his rigid length. “I think I’m starting to understand.”
“Good.” I undid the flap of leather and then shoved his pants down, baring him to me. I took in the sight of him—thick, hard, and straining. I licked my lips. “Yum.”
“Fuck,” he groaned.
Gri
I carried through on what I’d said. I showed him my thanks with my mouth and tongue.
And there were no complaints.
I sat in the middle of the mattress, staring at the small wooden box as Ash readied himself for bed. I could hear the splashing of the fresh water that had been brought up after supper.
I was restless.
Again.
Every couple of moments, my muscles tensed as if I were about to leap to my feet and…do something. What? I had no idea.
I drew my legs to my chest, my gaze tracking the delicate carvings along the lid of the box. It felt like a sense of urgency, but I didn’t know what for.
I poked at a fang with my tongue, my brows furrowing. I thought I recognized the feeling. It was the same as the year I’d forgotten Ezra’s birthday. On and off throughout the day, I’d kept feeling like I was forgetting something, but the what had danced just out of my reach. This restless urgency was similar to that. There was something I needed to do or remember. Something important. And this wasn’t the first time I’d felt this since waking from stasis after my Ascension. It had steadily increased as the day passed, though.
Resting my chin on my knees, I closed my eyes. The only time I hadn’t felt the restlessness had been during our utterly perfect supper. I hadn’t said much during it. I’d just sat back and listened to the conversations around me. Honestly, doing something as simple as sharing di
But as soon as the meal and conversation ended and my mind quieted, restlessness surged through me. Exactly like when I’d been with Rhain and Aios earlier. It had nothing to do with Kolis. I didn’t think it had anything to do with tomorrow’s speech or Ash’s upcoming trip to Vathi. Or our plans to go to Keella. It wasn’t about us. Not really. Maybe it had something to do with Lethe or the Shadowlands in general. Perhaps it had to do with all the new arrivals to Lethe and how long it would be until crops—
Wait.
My eyes went wide as I lifted my head. When Saion had spoken during the meeting about surveying the land for crops, I’d been thinking about how I should be able to help speed that process along.
Not should…
The bathing chamber darkened as Ash strolled out. The sight of him was a distraction. My gaze eagerly tracked the drops of water coursing down the sculpted lines of his chest, and the nape of my neck tingled. A sudden sense of knowing seized me. Eather throbbed from deep within me as if it were waking up.
I could do something.
I shot to my knees, sending my hair falling over my shoulders. “I’m the true Primal of Life.”
Ash stopped at the side of the bed, his brow begi
“Why would I just now be—?” I pressed my lips together. He was teasing. I squinted. “Anyway. I can restore life, and while water isn’t really something alive, it’s—” My thoughts were racing so fast I could barely make sense of them. I shook my head. “There is life to water and to everything.” My nose scrunched as I tried to grasp that piece of knowledge because I knew it was important and would lead to something even more so. But I shook my head, refocusing. “I was able to restore life with eather before. I was able to heal—are you even paying attention?”
Ash dragged his teeth over his lower lip and nodded. “Of course.”
“You are definitely not.” Leaning forward, I grasped his chin, guiding his attention away from my sheer nightgown. “You’re staring at my breasts.”
“You’re right. I am.” He pulled back, kissing the tip of my finger. “They’re beautiful.” His gaze dropped again. “But like this, with the gown and your hair spread across them?” The featherlight touch of his fingers between the strands of hair drew a shiver from me. “I ca
“I’m flattered.”
His gaze returned to mine, and he lifted a brow.
Sighing, I rolled my eyes. “Okay, I’m really flattered. Thank you. And you can show me how beautiful you find them later.”
The tips of his fangs appeared. “Oh, I very much plan to do so.” His head dipped, and his lips glided over my cheek. “You had an appetizer earlier, but I haven’t had dessert yet.”
Muscles low in my stomach tightened, and it took a lot for me to ignore that, but I had to. “Ash.”