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“There was another before Gemma,” I said, telling Aios about Marisol. “I didn’t know what would happen then. Honestly, I didn’t even think I would be able to bring her back to life. She was my first mortal.”
“Would knowing that another life had to be forfeited have changed what you did?”
A wry grin tugged at my lips. “You asked something similar of me before. And by the way, you were right that day when you said that creating life out of death was in my nature.”
Her silver eyes lightened. “I was, but I don’t think either of us knew just how right.”
“No doubt.” I laughed, sliding my palms over my thighs. The last time she’d asked this, it had been about Bele and whether I would’ve still brought her back if I had known that her Ascension would draw the attention of the other Primals. This time, I put it into words. “I would’ve still done it to save my stepsister the heartbreak of losing someone she loved.” The irony that the act had taken another she loved was cruel. “And if I had gotten to Ector in time or had a chance to save Orphine, I would’ve. But—” I cut myself off, shaking my head. “Never mind. You don’t need to hear any of this.”
“No. It’s okay.” The hem of her gown swayed across the stone floor as she angled her body toward mine. “Please, continue. I find this topic…interesting.” Her nose wrinkled. “I feel like that may have been inappropriate to admit.”
I raised a brow. “I’m the last person you need to worry about being inappropriate with.”
“Actually, you’re technically the only person I should worry about my behavior around,” she corrected. “You are the Queen.”
My heart skipped several beats. Somehow, that fact kept slipping my mind.
“Many of us either weren’t born when there was a true Primal of Life or weren’t close enough to Eythos to ever hear him speak of what it was like.”
“I’m not sure I even know what it’s like,” I admitted. “But I was just…I was just thinking about knowing when to use the ability to restore life and when not to. Like I can’t bring everyone back, but if it really is in my nature, how do I stop it? How do I decide—and I hate using this word—but how do I decide who deserves it and who doesn’t?”
You don’t.
I stiffened. The voice that whispered in my thoughts was mine, and the knowledge came from my Ascension. “It’s not the Primal of Life’s place to intervene in the natural order of things,” I whispered, but…that was bullshit. “What was natural about how Ector and Orphine died?” I turned to Aios. “Or you. There was nothing natural about what Kyn did when he attacked the Shadowlands. That can’t be a part of the natural order of things.”
“There was nothing natural about any of that. What Kyn did was u
“You’re not trained, but you had to do something,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “Wanting to help is understandable.”
She pressed her lips together. “I know, but…Kyn saw me when he entered the courtyard. He came right for me. And, Fates, I still don’t understand why. He knows I’m not a fighter—that I was no threat to him—but he grabbed me and dragged me toward the pikes where the dakkais were feeding on some of the restrained who were still alive.” She sucked in a sharp breath. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. I waited in silence until she could speak again, knowing she was seeing in her mind what I was. The lives lost on those pikes, their bodies brutalized in unimaginable ways. Except she’d been there when it happened. “In all the years I’ve lived, I’ve never witnessed anything like that. Not even in Dalos. Not even from Kolis.”
There was a good chance I stopped breathing. I was betting that Kyn had gone for her because of her time spent held against her will by Kolis. And I also wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Kolis had offered Aios to Kyn at some point.
Her fingers twisted the chain at her throat. “Ector saw it happening and tried to stop Kyn, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Ector got Kyn good, though. Nearly took his arm off.” She hastily wiped her palm over her cheek. “Ector’s death was quick. At least, there was that.”
Hearing that did bring me some peace, but it didn’t dampen my building fury.
Aios cleared her throat. “Kyn may have been following orders to attack the Shadowlands, but he enjoyed it. He likes the pain and fear he inflicts.”
Anger rushed to the surface, and I was suddenly standing before I even realized it. The corners of my vision turned a silvery white. “Tell me I can’t go to Vathi and rip out Kyn’s i
“You probably shouldn’t do that.”
Energy throbbed through me, charging the air. My skin heated. The chandelier began to swing as eather crackled along my skin. “Probably?” That one word dropped from my lips like a clap of thunder, causing Aios to jolt.
“Okay.” She drew out the word. “You definitely shouldn’t.”
“I shouldn’t,” I hissed. My hands closed into fists as I closed my eyes, counting just as I had in the gilded cage while I sat in that bath. Just as I had when I drove the Ancient bone into Kolis. And as I counted, I willed the essence to calm. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. I opened my eyes. The chandelier no longer swayed. “It would be very un-Primal of Life-like behavior if I did.”
“Uh-huh.” Aios watched me sit back down. “By the way, your eyes sort of changed color there for a few moments.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “The green turned gold. Your eyes were gold and silver.”
I opened my mouth, but all I could say was, “Oh.”
“They’re back to green and silver now.” Aios paused. “Your voice also did something different. You spoke out loud, but it was a breathy, hot sound. I know that sounds weird, but that’s how it felt. And I also—”
“There’s more?”
She nodded tentatively. “I heard your voice inside my head.”
My chest clenched. “I don’t know how or why that happened.”
“I think you might’ve been going full Primal of Life.”
“Did I physically change in appearance?” I asked, thinking about how Ash looked when he did. Then I thought about Kolis in his full Primal form. “Please, tell me I didn’t turn into a skeleton.”
“What?” Her brows snapped together. “No, your appearance didn’t really change.”
“Oh, thank the gods—wait.” I twisted toward her. “What do you mean by really change?”
“Your skin sort of took on a golden hue,” she said. “It was actually very pretty.”
I stared at her.
“Truly.” Aios smiled so widely it looked painful. “But that was all.”
That was all? I almost laughed as I sat back, now wondering what I would look like when I did go full Primal. I’d only seen Ash and Kolis do that.
Giving a shake of my head, I looked at Aios. “I hope I didn’t scare you.”
“You didn’t,” she quickly assured.
“Okay. Good.” I placed my hands on my legs. “I hate that you had to experience any of what you did, that pain and fear were your last thoughts. That it could’ve been the last thing Ector or any of the others felt. I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“And I will make sure Kyn pays for what he did,” I promised. “No matter what happens from here with Kolis, Kyn will be punished.” Energy hummed through me as I held her gaze, and as I spoke, the words became an oath inked into my very bones. “That, I swear to you, Aios.”
Eather pulsed in her eyes, and they widened. She stiffened. “Sera, you made an oath—”
“I know.” I exhaled, lifting my chin. “And I also know that an oath made by a Primal ca
A fierceness I’d never seen before settled into her features. The corners of her lips tightened, and her eyes, normally so full of warmth, filled with the icy flames of vengeance. “I accept your oath.”
I smiled. I probably shouldn’t have, but I did. “Good.”
Aios sat back, ru
“I…I don’t know.” No feelings or certain knowledge came, but it made me wonder if it did matter. Was there another way to restore the balance? I blew out a breath. “Even if it did, I feel like I’d probably be traveling down the same path Eythos did.”
“True.” Her lashes lowered, then swept up. “Attes told us about Sotoria and how her soul was in you but you weren’t her,” she shared. “You were right when you insisted that you weren’t the same person.”
I shifted, so damn uncomfortable whenever I thought about Sotoria’s soul now stuck in a damn diamond. At least I knew Attes would keep her safe.
“Anyway, you’re fine, right?” she asked. “The only thing that has changed is your eyes?”
“I was tired upon waking. Slept a lot like Bele did,” I shared. “But I feel as I did before.”
Something else popped into my head then, bringing a smile to my lips. “So.” I drew out the word. “Bele?”
Her forehead creased. “Yes?”
“And you? Together?”
A pretty pink flush stained her cheeks. “We are.”
The curve of my lips spread as I pictured them. There likely couldn’t be a more beautiful couple. “Is it new, or…?”
“Yes, and no.” Her blush deepened as she laughed. “We’ve been friends for many years, and we were together once before, about—oh, let’s see…” The groove between her brows deepened. “Eighteen years ago? Almost nineteen.”
I choked on my breath. “I’m sorry. You two were together almost two decades ago?”
“Yes.” A small grin appeared. “Why do you look so confounded?”
“Because you speak of two decades like it’s two months,” I sputtered.
“Compared to the span of a mortal life, it feels like an equivalent comparison.” The glow of eather pulsed behind her pupils. “Eventually, two decades will feel like two months to you, too.”
Once more, my heart leapt. “I can’t even imagine that,” I admitted. “Feeling that way. Looking as I do today, two decades or centuries from now. Like…my mind ca
“It will likely take nearly that length of time for you to do so.”
“Probably.” A breeze drifted into the chamber, stirring the curtains. “By the way, have you heard from Maia?” I asked. The Primal Goddess of Love, Beauty, and Fertility would’ve felt Aios’s Ascension. “Or do you have any idea how she’s handling this?”