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Trevor took the canteen, tilted back his head, and let some of the drink pour down his throat. "Excellent," he said.
"We're pretty much the only ones who think so-not even Max, Izzy, or Adam will drink it," Michael answered.
Trevor and I are so much alike, Michael thought. Why can't Max see that?
"The thing with Max…" Michael paused, not sure exactly what he wanted to say. "Max is practically like my brother. It's just that, lately…" He shook his head. "I don't know, since he went through his akino and joined the consciousness, he's been changing. Sometimes it's like he's not even Max anymore."
"Yeah, that happens a lot," Trevor answered. "A lot of the beings come to the Kindred because they refused to join the consciousness. They didn't want to lose their sense of self. You know, their identity."
"Isn't that basically the same as committing suicide?" Michael asked.
"You mean because you'll die if you go through your akino without making the co
"No way," Michael said. "I saw Max during his akino. He really almost died." Michael still had nightmares where he was forced to attend Max's funeral again and again.
"Do I look alive to you?" Trevor asked.
"Yeah, but-" Michael stared at Trevor. "Are you saying you've already gone through your akino?"
"You got it," Trevor answered.
"Is there any way to break the co
"The consciousness is too strong for an individual being to break free," Trevor answered. "And I get the feeling that Max is so far along that he wouldn't want to separate himself from the consciousness even if he could."
"Maybe you're right," Michael reluctantly admitted. He shoved himself to his feet. "I've got to take off. I know it sounds stupid, but I don't want to leave Adam alone too long. Can you think of anything else you might need?"
Trevor shook his head and stood up, too. "I've slept in much worse places, that's for sure."
"I'll come by after school tomorrow with some more supplies, but I don't think you'll have to hole up here more than a few days," Michael said." I'm going to talk to Max and Alex and the others. I'm sure I'll be able to convince them you're not dangerous or anything."
I don't know how, he added to himself. But I'm going to do it. I've got to.
Trevor looked doubtful, but he didn't say anything.
"So, uh, see you," Michael said as he backed toward the mouth of the cave.
"Want me to heal your hand before you go?" Trevor volunteered. "Or do you want to keep walking around dripping blood?"
"I can do it myself," Michael told him quickly.
If he and Trevor co
But that wouldn't happen-because Trevor isn't a killer, Michael told himself. He strode forward and stretched his hand out to his brother.
"Actually, it would be easier if you did it for me."
NINE
Liz felt fingers brushing her hair away from her face. I have to tell Adam to stop, she thought. But it felt so good. I'll pretend I'm still asleep, she decided. Just for a few minutes more.
"What are you doing here, Liz?" a voice asked. Not Adam's voice. Max's voice.
Liz's eyes snapped open, and she saw Max kneeling on the floor next to her. "What are you doing here?" he repeated.
She sat up, Adam's air mattress squeaking under her. He'd insisted that she take it while he slept on the floor. She glanced across the room. He wasn't there now.
"What are you doing here?" Max asked again.
What was wrong with him? He was like a talking doll that someone had stepped on so many times it could say only one thing. "If you'd called me last night the way you were supposed to, you'd know," Liz snapped.
An expression that was part hurt and part guilt flashed across Max's face. "I was going to, but then the consciousness-"
"The consciousness," Liz cut him off. "Of course, the consciousness."
Max stood up and took a step away from her. "I actually came by because I need to talk to Michael," he said, pulling a painfully obvious subject change.
"Michael and Trevor never made it back last night," Liz told him. She felt a little pang as she realized she'd been so caught up in her own garbage, she'd almost forgotten about them. "I heard about what happened," she added, her voice softening.
"Yeah, so it wasn't just because of the consciousness that I didn't call," Max said, leaping on the excuse in what Liz considered pure weasel fashion. "After Alex came and told me that he thought Trevor could be dangerous, things kind of got out of control."
Liz nodded. "I get that," she said. She stood up. She was tired of talking to Max with him towering over her. "And if last night was a one-time thing, it would be no big deal-even though I really needed you."
"Why? What happened?" he asked. His eyes flicked up and down her. "Whoa. Your aura is really in chaos."
Is it just Max looking at me right now? Or is it all the beings? Liz wondered, a prickling, tickling sensation ru
"There was a time when you would have noticed that the first second you saw me," she told Max. She pulled down on the hem of Adam's T-shirt, which she'd been using as a nightgown. Suddenly it felt too short.
"Liz, cut me a break," Max shot back, his voice taking on a steely edge. "There's a guy who could be a killer wandering around loose. And not just a guy-Michael's brother."
"No, that's way too easy. You know that's not what's really going on between us," Liz insisted. She snagged the Star Wars comforter off the air mattress and wrapped it tightly around her waist.
"I'd like to hear what you think is going on between us," Max said, his voice faintly patronizing. In another second he's going to be asking me if I'm PMS-ing, Liz thought.
"God, Max, I can't even kiss you anymore without you drifting away to the consciousness," she burst out. "Do you know how disgusting that feels? To be kissing someone and then feel their lips get all loose and dead?"
As opposed to Adam's lips, so eager, so warm. Liz shoved that thought away.
"Disgusting," Max repeated. In a flash he had her face cupped between his hands. His eyes bored into hers, then shifted down to her lips.
He's going to try to kiss me, Liz thought with a spurt of panic.
"Yeah, completely disgusting," Liz answered. She reached out and put her fingers on his lips, gently but firmly. "Because it wasn't you."
Max pulled her hand away and backed up. "Disgusting," he repeated again. "So, what are you really saying? Are you saying you don't want to be with me?"
"I want to be with you, Max. But you're not you anymore," Liz cried.
Max's brilliant blue eyes got a blank, shuttered look. "So you're breaking up with me?"
Liz felt that ripping, tearing sensation again, just the way she had last night with her parents.
Is there going to be anything left of me? she thought.
But she couldn't pretend that things were the same between her and Max. She couldn't pretend he was still the one she'd fallen in love with, the one she'd loved heart, and soul, and body.
That Max was gone.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Max repeated, voice dead.
How could he expect her to speak? How with this gaping, raw wound inside her?
Liz nodded. And Max turned and walked away.