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I started to lift the glass to my lips but saw that it was empty. I thought about refilling it but decided there came a point between the first and second glasses where liquid courage turned into liquid ridiculousness.
“I thought things would change,” she said, and my gaze flew to her. Bele rose, crossing her arms. “That Veses wouldn’t be…visiting now that Nyktos was taking a Consort.”
“Well, apparently, they haven’t,” I said, wiping my hands on the soft dressing robe.
Bele opened her mouth and closed it. Several seconds ticked by. “I don’t know what’s going on there—between Veses and Nyktos,” she said, and the wine immediately soured in my stomach. “Hell, I don’t even really know what’s going on with you and Nyktos. None of us do.”
“Please tell me his guards don’t sit around and discuss Nyktos and me,” I said.
“We don’t sit around and talk about you. We’re usually standing while doing it,” she replied, and I sighed. “None of us really gets it. You two. Nyktos didn’t want a Consort. Didn’t need one. And you wanted to kill him—or thought you needed to. Whatever. But I’ve seen the way you look at him,” she said, and my cheeks warmed. “I’ve seen how comfortable you are touching him. Very few would even dare think of doing such a thing.”
Veses had.
And did.
My veneer of emptiness cracked a little. I got up and moved to the table, needing to pace a bit.
“And I’ve never seen him so involved with another as he is with you. So a
A
Her nose wrinkled. “If it were just the embers, he wouldn’t have verbally slain us the morning he gave his speech in the throne room about how brave you were.”
“What?”
“Yep. After you left with Orphine and most of the other guards went back to their stations, he laid into the rest of us.” She gri
“I didn’t know he’d said anything to you all,” I murmured, having figured that had been what his speech was about. He could’ve made a point to speak to his most trusted guards directly because he feared they would be more likely to aid me in escape. Or he could’ve just wanted to make sure they were simply more welcoming toward me. I shook my head. It didn’t matter either way. Nyktos cared about how I was treated. What he was doing with Veses didn’t change that.
“Anyway, I’m guessing you saw something,” Bele said, drawing my attention back to her. “Because that’s the only thing I can think of that would cause you to get that angry.”
“Why would you think that?” I sat and rocked the chair back, propping the toes of my feet on the edge of the table.
“Because I’ve seen them together before.”
I stopped breathing, just for a few seconds as I stared at her, and then I dragged in a deep breath, holding it as the realization that what I’d seen hadn’t been a one-off thing sank in. Not that I had really believed it to be, but I supposed I had wanted it to be that.
“What…?” I swallowed, telling myself I didn’t need to know any more. I let the chair settle on all four legs and dropped my feet to the floor. The movement didn’t stop me from asking, “What did you see? Them fucking?”
“Good Fates, no. I would be traumatized. It would be like walking in on your brother having sex.” She shuddered as she turned, walking back to the couch. “I saw her feeding from him. That doesn’t always lead to or include sex.”
I guessed it didn’t, but the way Veses had been moving… Biting down on the side of my lip, I stopped those thoughts. I didn’t need to replay what I had seen. “When did you see them?”
Bele flung herself onto her back once more, propping her feet up on the arm of the couch again. “About a year ago. I was getting back from doing some scouting in the Court in Dalos and had some news to give him. I walked in on them. Never in my life have I nope-d out of a chamber as quickly as I did then.” She looked away, dragging her sharp teeth across her lower lip as it sank in that this thing with Veses had been occurring for a year. A whole year. “I shouldn’t even be talking about this.”
I went to the bed and sat on the edge again. “Because Nyktos would be angry with you?”
“I don’t give a fuck if he is. Don’t get me wrong, I love Nyktos as if he were my blooded brother. Just as Aios does. But if he doesn’t want people talking about what he’s been doing, he should make sure that no one finds out about it,” she said. “I shouldn’t be talking about this because I don’t know what the hell I saw the day I walked in on them. I mean, I know what I saw, but I don’t get it.”
Neither did I.
“Aios claims that Veses was decent once, but after some of the shit I’ve seen her do in Dalos, I find that hard to believe.” Bele’s eyes flashed with an intense burst of eather and then calmed. “Nyktos knows what kind of Primal she is. Not only that, she supports Kolis. Nyktos doesn’t trust her. He doesn’t like her.”
A conflicting mix of emotions budded, but I crushed them before I could make sense of them. Instead, I kept them locked away in that box. “If that’s the case, then why would he allow her to feed from him—for at least the last year?”
“As I said, that’s what I don’t get.” Bele stared at the ceiling. “Why would he allow her to do that? There has to be a reason.”
I stared at my hands—at the nails that had cracked and chipped from clawing at the ground. I couldn’t think of a single reason that not only explained but made sense for why Nyktos would allow Veses to feed from him. I curled my fingers inward, hiding my nails. And I didn’t want to think about those reasons—about any of this.
The embers suddenly shimmied to life inside me, stretching as if waking up. I tensed as my gaze flew to the doors, my heart thumping.
She followed my gaze. “What?”
“He comes,” I said.
“Fucking special Primal embers,” she muttered. “Like why don’t I feel that since I’ve technically Ascended?” she went on. “It’s total bullshit.”
The door swung open, but not the main one. Nyktos walked in through the adjoining door and came to a halt as his gaze landed on me.
Time felt as if it stopped as we looked at each other, and an urge to rise and go to him came out of nowhere. I even pitched forward as if to stand before I caught myself.
Then Nyktos moved and approached the bed. The steel-gray of his tunic and the silver brocading across the neck and over his chest and stomach reminded me of the color of his eyes and the wisps of eather in them. He halted again, seeming to suddenly become aware of Bele’s presence.
She kicked her head back and gri
“Can you give us a moment?” he said.
“But I was just getting comfortable,” Bele protested.
Nyktos stared at her, and whatever she saw got her moving. “Fine.” She popped up. “I’ll give you two several moments,” she said, and I almost reached out and stopped her.
I knew what was coming, and I wasn’t ready.
But I wasn’t a coward. That was what I told myself as I watched her slowly leave the room and close the door behind her. I may have been foolish and naïve—too reckless this time around, in a way I’d never experienced before—but I wouldn’t run again.
Feeling Nyktos’s stare, I pulled my attention from the door. Our gazes locked. Only faint traces of eather were visible in his eyes. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Perfect for someone who has been in stasis for three days,” I said, proud of how steady my voice was and how unbothered I sounded.
Something I didn’t recognize rippled in his eyes. He glanced at the bathing chamber, and then his gaze settled on me. He didn’t speak. Silence fell between us.