A light in the flame

If I could handle my mother, I could handle Nyktos.

The embers in my chest vibrated as we reached the first-floor hall, but I hesitated in the shadowy alcove. The doors were ajar. Before, I wouldn’t have thought twice about walking straight in. Aware that Orphine was watching me, I raised a hand to knock. Something Bele had said intruded in that moment. If Nyktos didn’t want people to talk, then he would make sure no one found anything to discuss, right? But I really—

“You can come in,” Nyktos’s voice rang out from within the office.

I froze, my hand suspended in the air.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Nyktos added after a moment.

Lowering my hand, I ignored the way Orphine stared at me and briefly closed my eyes, silently mouthing a string of curses. Then I opened the door.

Rhain stood to Nyktos’s right, and he sat behind his desk, closing one of the Books of the Dead. His hair was swept back, and I thought…he looked paler around the corners of his eyes and his mouth. There were also shadows beneath his eyes as his muted gaze swept over my thick braid, vest, and tailored leggings like thick tights. That was all I let myself notice as I walked forward, but something I shouldn’t be feeling blossomed at the sight of the paleness and those shadows. Concern.

“I’ve never known you to knock.” Nyktos’s gaze rose to mine, and the glow of eather pulsed faintly behind his pupils.

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” I explained.

Rhain stared at me.

“That is also not something I’ve seen you worry about in the past.” Nyktos leaned back in his chair. He wore a dark gray tunic, though one without the silver brocade.

“Well, I’ve learned to knock,” I replied.

The corners of his mouth tightened.

I clasped my hands together, reminding myself to breathe deeply, slowly, and not to, as Rhain had so succinctly put it, lose my shit. “I hoped I could have a moment of your time.” I peeked at Rhain. He continued staring at me as if he’d never seen me before. “If not, I can come back.”

“Are you feeling unwell?” Rhain blurted out.

“I feel quite fine,” I told him. “And I don’t know why everyone keeps asking me that.”

“Keeps?” Nyktos questioned.

“Orphine asked if I was fine about two dozen times,” I said, exaggerating.

“Probably because you’re being…” Rhain frowned. “Polite.”

My expression mirrored his. “I don’t know why that would make anyone think I’m unwell.”

“Have you met yourself?” Rhain countered.

Nyktos glanced at him, and the god sighed. “I’m heading out to the Rise.” He bowed, and then with one last curious look in my direction, he left us.

Alone.

Nyktos watched me as he remained reclined in his chair, one hand lifting to curl around his chin.

I sat on the edge of the seat before his desk. “I won’t take up much of your time—”

“You can have all the time you want, Seraphena.”

Seraphena.

Gods, I wanted to hate how he curled his tongue around my name, making it sound like both a wicked whisper and a reverent prayer.

I kept my hands clasped. “Thank you, but I don’t think I will need that much. I’m sure you’re busy.”

He drew his thumb across his lower lip, his gaze still fastened to mine. I didn’t think he’d blinked once. “What is it that you want that won’t take much time?”

Something about his tone left me a little unsteady. A…softness. “I want to discuss Irelone. I would like to go there as soon as possible. I figured Nektas could travel with me.”

“I’m going with you,” he said, the eather brightening behind his pupils. “I need to hear exactly what Delfai says about the embers to ensure that I can carry out the process of removing them.”

Irritation hummed from deep within. Traveling with Nyktos anywhere was…well, not opportune. And I was confident that Nektas could relay any pertinent details effectively. Still, I squashed my irritation. “Okay.”

He arched a brow. “Okay?”

I nodded.

Nyktos’s eyes narrowed slightly as he drew his thumb along his lip once more. “I’m assuming you would like to leave right now.”

“I would.”

“I would like to wait until tomorrow.”

I gritted my teeth. “And why would you like to do that?”

“Because one of Kyn’s draken was spotted this morn over the Black Bay,” he shared, and I tensed. “The draken hasn’t made any move against us. He’s just been circling at the edges of our territory.”

Us. Our.

I squeezed my hands. “What do you think he’s doing?”

“Scouting. Likely seeing how many guards we have on the Rise,” he said, and I tensed even further as he dragged the edge of his fangs across his lip. “And probably trying to get a good look at the armies, which he will not be able to.”

“Do the other Primals not know the size?”

“They only know that I have one, and that it’s sizable. But not even Dorcan knew the exact size,” he answered. “I want to be here just in case my suspicions are wrong.”

“Understandable,” I said. “If the draken attacks, I want to be of aid.”

“Of course.”

Now it was my turn to stare in confusion. “Of course? As in you will not demand that I remain back?”

“I have learned not to ask that of you,” he replied. “Or to expect you to stand down when you need to help—when you want to.”

“You’re not worried that I’ll get myself and the embers killed?”

“I worry about that every waking second,” he said. “But I’ve also learned that it’s something I will need to deal with.” He shifted, straightening in his chair. “Besides, the other deal you made, the one in the courtyard, was that you wanted to be of aid. I agreed. That has not changed.”

I blinked rapidly, having figured that all our agreements had been voided. “Then we leave in the morning.”

Nyktos nodded. A moment passed. “Nektas said you knew the woman Delfai was with? Was she the one you spoke about before?”

“It’s Princess Kayleigh—Tavius’s once-betrothed,” I said with a nod. “She should be at Cauldra Manor, in Massene—a village in Irelone, near the capital. I remember her saying it was the Balfour ancestry home. I’m hoping there’s a gateway near.”

He smiled then, a little wider, warmer. “We lucked out with one being so close to Wayfair, but there are none within Irelone that I would trust using. However, we don’t need a gateway. We will shadowstep.”

I started to ask how that would be possible, but then I remembered how he’d taken me from the Great Hall in Wayfair. “So, you’re going to have to knock me out.”

“I will do my best to make sure you feel no pain and that it’s quick,” he assured me. “The only alternative is that we enter through Spessa’s End or Pompay, where the closest gateways to Irelone are, which would be rather time-consuming.”

“It’s fine,” I told him. “I can deal with it.”

“I know you can.” A pause. “You can deal with anything.”

I stilled, once again struck off-kilter by his too-soft tone as he continued to eye me closely, enough to make my skin prickle with awareness. I was grateful we had nothing else to discuss. I unclasped my hands, begi

“Nektas told me you ran into the nymphs on your return from the Vale.”

“We did.” I remained tense in the chair, like a bird perched on a cliff, prepared to take flight. “I’d forgotten about them.”

“You killed one,” he said. “With eather.”

I nodded.

“You shouldn’t be able to do that.”

“That’s what Nektas said. The embers…I guess they really are that powerful. But that will soon be something I won’t need to worry about.” I cleared my throat. “I don’t want to keep you—”

“I don’t want you to do this.”

Confusion rose once more. “Do what?”

“This.”

I waited for more of an explanation. There was none. “I’m going to need you to elaborate.”

One side of his lips curled up. “You don’t need to become someone you’re not.”