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– Oh, no, you've done nothing to push me away from you! Blame it on my vivid imagination! – Viper snapped back.
– No, explain to me where you got those ideas from. – I was furious at her mocking tone and how stubbornly she clung to her delusions.
– Do you want to know?
– I'm dying to know.
– You made it clear to me from the first time we met that I was a nobody, and you were just forced to study with me. Humiliated your excessive pride. And your lateness was on purpose! God, I only realised it now, because you're such an amazing liar that you made me believe you and feel guilty for my harsh words! And now I realise how fair they were! – she said quietly but firmly.
– Is that all? – I asked.
– You are arrogant and selfish. I can't stand it. You look at me contemptuously like a cockroach, you make me feel insignificant and stupid. You don't have a shred of humanity in you! All you're filled with is contempt for people!
– I had a better opinion of you," I said with a scornful grin. – And you turned out to be a common coward.
– I'd rather be a coward than a monster like you!
Her words took my breath away.
Viper looked me straight in the eye, and I suddenly thought she knew who I was, knew my secret.
– Monstro in frontum, monstro in anima. But you hide your true face behind a pretty shell and deceive people," Viper said quietly. Without knowing it, she'd revealed my true nature.
She was absolutely right: I was a monster.
– I thought you'd be braver, but I guess I was wrong, because you act so stupid the first time you fight," I said grimly.
– I thought you were better than what you turned out to be," Viper said bitterly. Her face went pale. – And maybe I'm not as smart as you, but I don't deserve your insults," she whispered, her head lowered.
Realising how much my harsh words and my behaviour had hurt Viper, I felt a mental discomfort.
Viper looked up at me, and I saw again the same pain that had been in her eyes the moment I'd hurt her. In that second I realised how wrong I had been about her, thinking she was weak of spirit and afraid to fight. I could feel it now: her airy soul could not bear the insults with which I had wounded her quite undeservedly. It was my fault, and I did not wish to transfer it to the fragile shoulders of this mortal girl. I know how to admit my mistakes. I was overcome with regret and shame for my mistakes. And for once, vampire pride didn't drown out the voice of reason.
– I'm sorry," I said, surprised at myself.
Viper's eyes flashed with genuine surprise.
– I do love Baudelaire's work, and I often reread it so that I don't forget it in my memory," I said hastily.
– What do you like his poetry? I wanted to know just that, and you took my question that way! – Viper said quietly, frowning slightly.
– 'He was writing the truth. As you said, there is darkness in his poems, although, no, they are just soaked in it, but this darkness does not repel, on the contrary – it envelops the mind with beauty, melancholy and majesty. Reading Baudelaire, I involuntarily think about the frailty of the world and what beauty is hidden where people are not destined to see it, because they are blind and do not want to see the beauty.
Why am I saying all this? To earn Viper's favour? A mortal?
What a shame.
– And to hear that, I had to listen to your insults first? – she asked sadly.
– I apologise to you for my unimaginative and undignified behaviour," I apologised again.
How many times do I have to repeat those words to her? And how many more times would I have to repeat them before Viper would forgive me? Why am I so eager for her forgiveness?
– What did I do to make you so angry? – the girl asked
– I don't know. I must have been in a bad mood," I said.
It was true. I didn't know the answer to that question myself.
– So you're very hot-tempered? But what makes you think you're allowed to take it out on people around you?
– I can control my emotions.
God, what am I doing? I'm persuading a mortal girl not to refuse to study with me!
– Is that why you were rude to Julia?
Oh, shit. How clever of her to catch me!
– You made the exchange behind my back. You have to admit, it's not very nice to be exchanged like a thing," I rebuked her in turn.
Viper suddenly blushed and lowered her gaze to the floor.
– Yes… That was not nice of me," she said quietly.
– Next time, if there are any contradictions between us, we will solve them immediately and without interference from outsiders, – I said insistently.
– Next time? You think we can study together? – Viper was surprised.
– Why not?
– If only because you can't keep your temper to yourself.
– I thought I said I was capable of self-control? – I asked calmly and a little mockingly.
– Yes, I heard you. But can you guarantee that you won't insult me again and look at me with that contemptuous look?
– I… promise to keep my temper in check. – I barely got that promise out of me, the first time I'd ever promised something to a man and apologised to him twice before.
– Then I agree to continue our lessons.
You do? Like I asked her to do that?
– While we're at it, let me ask you, what other poets do you prefer? – As if seizing the opportunity, Viper suddenly asked.
– Goethe, Schiller, Lord Byron, Petrarch. I've already mentioned Baudelaire. But, actually, there are many, it's hard to list them all. From literature I prefer the classics. What do you read?
– Classics are a rare guest on my bookshelf. I read some of the classics, but it's more for self-development… In fact… You may think I'm naive, but I like books about vampires. And of poets I prefer Lermontov, well, and Baudelaire, of course," the girl shared with me, laughing softly.
I couldn't help but chuckle. If only Viper knew that she wasn't naive in her fascination with books about us, and that one of the vampires was standing next to her, talking to her!
– Vampires? Good choice," I said with a chuckle.
– No… Bad. I should prefer more serious literature… Alas, I'm too light-minded," Viper said embarrassedly, hiding her beautiful eyes from me again, as if embarrassed by her fondness for mystical literature.
– On the contrary: you take things too personally," I said quietly, wishing she wouldn't dare to belittle her virtues. – Perhaps your soul is too tender for our cruel material world. And you have nothing to be ashamed of in your literary tastes.
– Yes… I suppose you're right," Viper said quietly.
No matter how hard I tried, she felt uncomfortable. Perhaps my chuckle at her mention of vampire books had misled her.
I was torn by conflicting feelings. In the books Viper preferred to read, vampires were always portrayed as romantic heroes whose romanticism overshadowed the true cruelty of our lives. Always dark but noble, book vampires remain ideals in the imagination of mortal girls that they can never find in real life, because vampires never come into contact with mortals. Unless I'm forced to, or, I'm not going to lie, I don't know why, I've sought companionship with this mortal. But humans have made idols of us. Is the Viper in this foolish delusion?
– I don't believe in the existence of vampires at all," I said, trying to ask Viper how she felt about us.
– To be honest, neither do I. Don't think that I think they're real – I just like the mystical atmosphere… Although, of course, this is a subjective opinion, because we can't say that vampires don't exist just because we haven't seen them. We can't see God, but there is a God," Viper said seriously. – But I don't believe in vampires. I'd rather believe that the sun revolves around the Earth… Okay, let's not talk about that. I realise this all sounds weird and stupid, and it's stupid that we're even discussing it.