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Lucy had shaken countless hands and pretended not to hear remarks like "I wouldn't mind being in David's pyjamas tonight." David had made a speech in which he thanked Lucy's parents for giving him their daughter, and Lucy's father actually said that he was not losing a daughter but gaining a son. It was all hopelessly gaga, but one did it for one's parents. A distant uncle loomed up from the direction of the bar, swaying slightly, and Lucy repressed a shudder. She introduced him to her husband.
"David, this is Uncle Norman."
Uncle Norman pumped David's bony hand. "well, m'boy, when do you take up your commission?"
"Tomorrow, sir."
"What, no honeymoon?"
"Just twenty-four hours."
"But you've only just fished your training, so I gather."
"Yes, but I could fly before, you know. I learned at Cambridge. Besides, with an this going on they can't spare pilots. I expect I shall be in the air tomorrow."
Lucy said quietly, "David, don't," but Uncle Norman persevered.
"What'll you fly?" Uncle Norman asked with schoolboy enthusiasm.
"Spitfire. I saw her yesterday. She's a lovely kite." David had already fallen into the RAF slang: kites and crates and the drink and bandits at two o'clock. "She's got eight guns, she does three hundred and fifty knots, and she'll turn around in a shoebox."
"Marvellous, marvellous. You boys are certainly knocking the stuffing out of the Luftwaffe, what?"
"We got sixty yesterday for eleven of our own," David said, as proudly as if he had shot them all down himself. "The day before, when they had a go at Yorkshire, we sent the lot back to Norway with their tails between their legs and we didn't lose a single kite."
Uncle Norman gripped David's shoulder with tipsy fervour. "Never," he quoted pompously, "was so much owed by so many to so few. Churchill said that the other day."
David tried a modest grin. "He must have been talking about the mess bills."
Lucy hated the way they trivialised bloodshed and destruction. She said: "David, we should go and change now."
They went in separate cars to Lucy's home. Her mother helped her out of the wedding dress and said: "Now, my dear, I don't quite know what you're expecting tonight, but you ought to know."
"Oh, mother, this is 1940, you know!"
Her mother coloured slightly. "Very well, dear," she said mildly. "But if there is anything you want to talk about, later on…"
It occurred to Lucy that to say things like this cost her mother considerable effort, and she regretted her sharp reply.
"Thank you," she said. She touched her mother's hand. "I will."
"I'll leave you to it, then. Call me if you want anything." She kissed Lucy's cheek and went out.
Lucy sat at the dressing table in her slip and began to brush her hair. She knew exactly what to expect tonight. She felt a faint glow of pleasure as she remembered.
It happened in June, a year after they had met at the Glad Rag Ball. They were seeing each other every week by this time, and David had spent part of the Easter vacation with Lucy's people. Mother and Father approved of him he was handsome, clever and gentlemanly, and he came from precisely the same stratum of society as they did. Father thought he was a shade too opinionated, but Mother said the landed gentry had been saying that about undergraduates for six hundred years, and she thought David would be kind to his wife, which was the most important thing in the long run. So in June Lucy went to David's family home for a weekend.
The place was a Victorian copy of an eighteenth-century grange, a square-shaped house with nine bedrooms and a terrace with a vista. What impressed Lucy about it was the realisation that the people who planted the garden must have known they would be long dead before it reached maturity. The atmosphere was very easy, and the two of them drank beer on the terrace in the afternoon sunshine. That was when David told her that he had been accepted for officer training in the RAF, along with four pals from the university flying club. He wanted to be a fighter pilot.
"I can fly all right," he said, "and they'll need people once this war gets going-they say it'll be won and lost in the air, this time."
"Aren't you afraid?" she said quietly.
"Not a bit," he said. Then he looked at her and said, "Yes, I am." She thought he was very brave, and held his hand.
A little later they put on swimming suits and went down to the lake. The water was clear and cool, but the sun was still strong and the air was warm as they splashed about gleefully. "Are you a good swimmer?" he asked her.
"Better than you!"
"All right. Race you to the island."
She shaded her eyes to look into the sun. She held the pose for a minute, pretending she did not know how desirable she was in her wet swimsuit with her arms raised and her shoulders back. The island was a small patch of bushes and trees about three hundred yards away, in the centre of the lake.
She dropped her hands, shouted, "Go!" and struck out in a fast crawl. David won, of course, with his enormously long arms and legs. Lucy found herself in difficulty when she was still fifty yards from the island. She switched to breaststroke, but she was too exhausted even for that, and she had to roll over on to her back and float. David, who was already sitting on the bank blowing like a walrus, slipped back into the water and swam to meet her. He got behind her, held her beneath the arms in the correct lifesaving position, and pulled her slowly to shore. His hands were just below her breasts.
"I'm enjoying this," he said, and she giggled despite her breathlessness.
A few moments later he said, "I suppose I might as well tell you."
"What?" she panted.
"The lake is only four feet deep."
"You…!" She wriggled out of his arms, spluttering and laughing, and found her footing.
He took her hand and led her out of the water and through the trees. He pointed to an old wooden rowing boat rotting upside-down beneath a hawthorn. "When I was a boy I used to row out here in that, with one of Papa's pipes, a box of matches and a pinch of St. Bruno in a twist of paper. This is where I used to smoke it."
They were in a clearing, completely surrounded by bushes. The turf underfoot was clean and springy. Lucy flopped on the ground. "We'd swim back slowly," David said.
"Let's not even talk about it just yet," she replied.
He sat beside her and kissed her, then pushed her gently backwards until she was lying down. He stroked her hip and kissed her throat, and soon she stopped shivering. When he laid his hand gently, nervously, on the soft mound between her legs, she arched upwards, willing him to press harder. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him open-mouthed and wetly. His hands went to the straps of her swimsuit, and he pulled them down over her shoulders.
She said, "No."
He buried his face between her breasts. "Lucy, please."
"No."
He looked at her. "It might be my last chance."
She rolled away from him and stood up. Then, because of the war, and because of the pleading look on his flushed young face, and because of the glow inside her which would not go away, she took off her costume with one swift movement and removed her bathing cap so that her dark-red hair shook out over her shoulders. She knelt in front of him, taking his face in her hands and guiding his lips to her breast.
She lost her virginity painlessly, enthusiastically, and only a little too quickly.
The spice of guilt made the memory more pleasant, not less. Even if it had been a well-pla
She began to dress in her going-away outfit. She had startled him a couple of times that afternoon on the island once when she wanted him to kiss her breasts, and again when she had guided him inside her with her hands. Apparently such things did not happen in the books he read. Like most of her friends, Lucy read D. H. Lawrence for information about sex. She believed in his choreography and mistrusted the sound effects-the things his people did to one another sounded nice, but not that nice; she was not expecting trumpets and thunderstorms and the clash of cymbals at her sexual awakening.